#momlife conversation REBOOT with Mandy Wagner

With the weather turning chillier, it's a fine time to cozy up with a hot beverage and settle in with another mom chat. So grab your poison. Here's another good one.

With Justin Wagner serving as superintendent of our beloved school system, chances are many of you've met Mandy–the adorable wife and mother of the Wagner clan. Our oldest girls graduated together last year. Thus, we endured the same grieving process last year as we sent our daughters away...to college, of course. I asked Mandy to share some thoughts on life.

Quick Bio:

Justin, Carter, Mandy, Brady & Taylor

Married to Justin and mother of three: Taylor(19), Brady(16), Carter(14). Stay at home mom (even though all my kids are school age), but my dream job finally came true 5 years ago!  I thank my husband for giving me the opportunity. I firmly believe that I am a better wife and mother because I can take care of the day in and day out things, and take care of the household and all the details. Then at the end of their school day I can focus on just being Mom and give them the time/attention they deserve!

Note: Not only is Mandy a dedicated wife and mother, but she spends her time volunteering and mentoring.  

The first thing you do in the morning:

Check my calendar for the day

The best advice you've ever given to your kids:

Be the reason someone smiles today! It's the simple gestures that mean the most and can make the difference!

Favorite Family Tradition:

Operation Ho-Ho...it's our name for the crazy black Friday shopping done over Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) is involved and it truly is a mission to divide and conquer and get everybody's wish list checked off! Topped off with breakfast at Perkins to talk about the craziness of it all!

Opinion on Life Balance:

I love the quote,"Balance is not something you find, it is something you create."  With the craziness of life and constant change, I find myself recreating that balance time and time again, with as much gratefulness along the way for all the blessings in life!

Guiltiest Pleasure:

DVR in my bedroom and snapchatting my three sisters 

Most-used or Favorite App:

AccuWeather - I am a weather freak and am constantly tracking weather and following every meteorologist I can on social media to compare it to my weather predictions.  I think I would be a storm chaser in another life!

What's your go-to meal?

Spaghetti is always and quick and easy one in our household, and probably the most requested. But with as much as we are on the go, PB&J and Pringles get packed in our car cooler quite frequently!

Favorite piece in your wardrobe:

Honestly , my jammies are my favorite, especially as the weather gets chilly. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, if I know I am done with all the running/activities, my jammies go on whether its 3pm or 9pm!

How you disconnect:

I am a reality TV junkie, so I'm kind of embarrassed to say I love all those crazy shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress, Naked and Afraid, The Voice, Chopped, Big Brother, Bachelorette...the list goes on and on!

Last thing you do before you go to bed:

Wash my face and say my prayers.

What was the last thing you read or saw that you couldn't quit  

thinking about?

Taking God At His Word by Kevin DeYoung 

It is one of the countless books we get as gifts from my mother-in-law, and I use to complain about all the self-help books she sent (feeling more inadequate with each one.) Over the years I've come to realize how great they are and that she is one of my biggest fans and wants nothing more than for me to be the best person/mom/wife I can be. 

What has been the most surprising thing about being a parent?

Life truly does get better and better! In the moment we worry and cry and fuss about our kids growing up and moving into the next stage of life. We reminisce about what was and how it can't possibly get any better....but each stage is more beautiful and rewarding than the next and it makes me so excited to grow old with my hubby and watch our kids lives unfold!

No one would deny the Wagners are optimistic and kind people who work hard to make good things happen. I think we have a glimpse as to why. Thanks Mandy for sharing!

Salute to Mother's Day on my 100th Post!

How appropriate for my 100th post on Mommyhood to pen a few thoughts about Mother's Day...

The weekend started off as perfect as a Hallmark card...we delivered a brand new acoustic guitar for my Grandma Shirley, who is losing her sight and is no longer able to read, quilt or sew. At least she can still play guitar; however, only recently did we discover her guitar has been broken. The gift brought her to tears (especially after thinking we had bought her a large fan). She and Alex have plans for a mini-concert at our family reunion this summer. Beauty.

Now for Sunday...I'm condensing this section to a few observations:

*McDonald's is a sparsely-populated restaurant on Mother's Day. But don't expect any Mother's Day specials.
*Mother's Day or not, kids still leave Walmart in a pout if you walk out toyless.
*It's never a good idea to drag your family out to buy flowers. Never. Remind me of this next Mother's Day.
*Compliments flow easily no matter what meal you serve on Mother's Day. "Mom, this frozen pizza is delicious!"
*Never plan on purchasing your own mother's gift the day of Mother's Day. There's a fairly good chance the store won't be open on that Sunday...

Lest me be misconstrued..I'm always thankful for the day...to remind me how lucky and privileged I am to be a mother and have a wonderful role model in my own mother. God Bless.

Stupid Mom Tricks

I now have a reason to laugh every morning as I give my kids their allergy medicine. Normally, I don't take medicine-taking in such a jovial manner. But it now reminds me of an occurrence that happened two weeks ago when we took our adventurous escape to Des Moines.

On the way, I realized I had completely forgotten both of the kid's allergy medicine. So we stopped at a convenience store and I found Claritin -- not specifically made for children, but the label, which I read diligently, said could be used for kids and adults. I also wanted the kind that dissolves in the mouth, so no drink was necessary. (Why I needed this feature I'm unsure, since we all had our own sodas by then.)

Anyway, I distributed the medicine in the car and instructed the kids to allow the pill to dissolve in their mouth. They obliged without any fuss.

The next morning, I disbursed the allergy medicine for the day. Cole said, "UGH!" and ran into the bathroom. Alex complained, "Oh, do we have to?"

What? The day's only beginning and we're already whining? Only the second day into our little escape!

"What's going on? It's just allergy medicine."

As Cole remained in the bathroom, Alex groaned, "But they taste horrible!"

They taste horrible? They just dissolve in your mouth, right? Wait, don't they dissolve in your mouth? I grabbed the label, which I so carefully read yesterday. Hmmm. Nope -- not a word about dissolving in the mouth. These pills were to be swallowed.

I was so proud of the kids. They sat in their seats during our travels, sucking on a bitter pill until it was gone -- without one complaint! Of course, I'm not completely sure that Cole didn't spit his out. But not my faithful Alex. She let the horrible-tasting pill evaporate in her mouth.

So, what's amiss here? They'll eat a yucky pill but gag if I serve them broccoli.

The Reason for Daughters

Obviously, the reason every mother wants a daughter is to dress them up. Admit it! When any of you mothers out there found out you were pregnant, did you peruse the baby girl or baby boy sections in the stores? Sure, you might have glanced over to the blue section at Gymboree and politely smiled at the mother with two toddler boys. But then you immersed yourself in the pink and purple frills, the matching hats, and adorable sandals to complete the wardrobe you imagined building for your daughter -- even if you didn't know what you were having!

And it happens. You give birth to a beautiful little girl. You are flooded with gifts from Baby Gap, The Children's Place, etc. You retrieve all of those girly clothes you bought with your mom on clearance "just in case" you had a girl. Each day you get to pick out an outfit, not so unlike the days of playing with dolls when you were little.

"Alex, we're getting groceries today! I know just what you should wear. Let's do jeans, since it's a more casual day, with this pink baby doll (baby doll -- isn't that funny?) shirt. Your plaid floppy hat will be perfect -- even if it is cloudy! Now, what shoes do you suppose will stay on the best today and still complete the look?"

Sound familiar?

Then she turns three. It all goes downhill from there. Suddenly, she's developed an opinion and a unique fashion sense wanting to wear the same ugly t-shirt (that you can't remember why you bought) every day. Sometimes she finds bottoms to match. Sometimes not. You even hide the shirt in the deepest cove of the dirty laundry, but she still finds it. Then you argue with your toddler like you never thought you would.

"Alexandria Grace! You have so many beautiful clothes in your closet and you want to wear that stupid shirt every day!"

"Mom! You said stupid. That's a bad word."

"I know! But, why do you insist on wearing that shirt? Why don't you wear this outfit, with the little pink skirt?"

She cries. You cry. She wins and wears that same stupid shirt with the unicorn on it. You think to yourself, "Where did I go wrong?"

But all young mothers with daughters, take heed!

Alex turned eleven on June 6. We took a mother-daughter day to go shopping together -- and it was the best! I just love that girl. What made the day so great? Perhaps I've relaxed my stance on how I think she should be dressed all of the time. And somehow, she's come along way from corny unicorn shirts and has developed a trendy sense of style. (Maybe our weekly required viewing of What Not to Wear has rubbed off a little.) She also realizes who pays the bill. And like most girls, she has become an artist at getting what she wants. She no longer cries, but she knows how to turn on the charm with her sincere sweetness. (I'm not kidding. She is a sweetheart, especially when she's not around Cole.)

I've also discovered some tactics to help us to come together on clothing decisions. No longer do I barge into Limited Too and select the first thing I want her to try on. Now, I hover around a cute outfit and patiently for her to come back to me with a question.

"Mom, what would go with this?"

"Oh, that's cute!" (This is an important step, even if you don't think it's cute.) "Hmmm. Well, I don't know. What do you think of this, Alex?"

"I like it!" Then I help her to find her size and she's off in the dressing room. Before long, we have a stack of clothing that we both love. Shopping is fun again.

So, what's next for our mother-daughter relationship? My guess is that we embark on discussion about make-up practices. That should be an adventure.

A Mother's Day Salute!

On Tuesday night my mom, my daughter and I shared an enjoyable evening of preparing a meal for my dad's birthday. We rinsed, chopped, marinated, seasoned, stirred, tenderized and grilled a lovely and delicious meal. Seriously! Now, I'm close to my mom. Real close. Rarely a day goes by when we don't chat about something or another. But this was truly the first time I remember cooking with my mother -- for fun.

And it was really fun.

There's a fair chance Mom might argue the fact we've never cooked together for fun, but truthfully we've rarely cooked together -- ever. She always made the entire meal. I was in charge of setting the table. Case in Point: As I positioned the chicken to slice the fat and cut the breast in half, Mom politely took the knife out of my hand and began to cut. "Mom! I'm thirty-eight years old. I can do this without cutting myself." She smiled and gave me back the knife. I'm happy to report no nicks, scrapes or open wounds from the task. (I must admit, I understand my mother's reaction. I do it all the time when I see Alex slicing something.)

Anyway, I babble for a reason. How many of us run home after work, soccer practice or a baseball game only to frantically prepare a meal while sifting through the mail, skimming the daily headlines and starting one more load of laundry? I remember my mother performing this exercise and I do the exact same thing.

But things are gonna change.

Tuesday night, Mom explained to me her new routine. Rather than rushing home to make a meal after work, she and Dad share a glass of wine or beer as they explore dinner options. They have transformed a task into an experience of discovering foods, various preparations and techniques. No, she doesn't get as much done at night, but who cares? The meal is no longer a chore, but something they enjoy doing together.

What a great lesson to share with a daughter before Mother's Day.

(Note to self: Pick up a couple of bottles of Reisling.)

Ironman meets What Not to Wear...

Men and boys came out in droves Friday night for the opening of "Iron Man". It was truly a male bonding event. Between the action, gadgetry and a glimpse of female pole dancing, my husband(Doug)and son(Cole) seem to be in movie heaven. It was kind of sweet.

I could see the light bulbs going off in the heads of the Kramer males. Of course, Cole's motives were easily disclosed. Throughout the movie, he kept asking me for opinions of the various Ironman suits. (Halloween will still be impossible to predict, since we have an entire summer of super hero movies to get through this year.) I should have let Cole and Doug sit together to commentate, but the other theater-goers might have been annoyed by the discourse. Oh well. There has been plenty of debriefing this weekend. After all, Doug is a machinist, can weld and has a big shop for projects like these. If Tony Stark could piece together a fully-armored, weapon-loaded flying costume in a cave, what couldn't our men do? And if they run into some problems, my Dad (a machinist himself) is just a phone call away!

My daughter and I happen to be those type of people that love every movie, no matter how horrible the script, acting or plot may be. It's no surprise that we were wildly entertained as well. (Alex was only mildly disturbed about not having any friends in the theatre to ditch her parents and brother.) But the most enjoyable part of the movie, in my perspective, was the observation of the male bonding in our household. It really makes me appreciative of the common interests of our male gender -- just as I know they appreciate the common interests of the female gender. (Did any of you laugh?) It's true! I know this because as soon as we returned from the movie, all four of us snuggled in bed and watched two episodes of "What Not to Wear". And the boys didn't fall asleep.

(Sorry, Honey. I had to tell to make my point.)

Taking Alex to the Movies

I'm excited. Alex seems to like me again. She has always loved me, but something has changed within the last couple of weeks. Like, she's asking me, like, what should she wear with this shirt, or like, what shoes go best with this outfit. AND, the other day she even asked, like, what my favorite movie was when I was a kid. (I'm a female born in 1969, so obviously my favorite was Grease.)

Anyway, just as I thought we had made it through those rocky, independent years between the age of six and nine, she threw me a curve ball.

"Mom? Are you and Dad gonna, like, going to the same movie as Lexi and me?"

"What? Of course!"

She sighs. "Like, Drillbit Taylor is showing in the other theater though With Owen Wilson."

"So. Nim's Island looks good to me!"

Another sigh.

Sensing my daughter's discontent with my response, I accomodate her. "I tell you what. Dad and I won't sit by you and Lex."

She accepts the terms.

As soon as she and Lexi receive their concessions, and before we receive ours, they shoot off into the theatre to secure prime 2nd row seats among their other friends. I spy an opening in the third row, directly behind her! Perfect.

"Ugh! Oh, Mom. You are,like, so lame." She didn't quite get the joke, I guess. So, I am sent back to my husband who looks quite comfortable in the assigned parents' section. "We're getting old, Hon."

"Yep," he states happily devouring the buttered popcorn.

But I'm a bit saddened. Watching the kids' expressions was as much fun as watching the movie. Well, at least I shouldn't miss any lines in the movie. Or have to take a potty break. Maybe.

But guess what? I can still hear her cute little laugh. Even from the parents' section. It makes me happy. No matter how old she is, her laugh makes me happy.

Keeping our Teeth. Losing my Mind?

Two cavities? But my oldest never had any, and she didn't brush her teeth either!

All kids are different, my dentist told me. Don't blame yourself. So, it's okay that we don't always get a brushing in our hectic mornings? Or exhausting evenings? Flossing is really out of the question.

Anyway, I had it all set up to take my son to a pediatric dentist, in Omaha, which is an hour away from our residence. I rearranged my work schedule and my husband, being the supportive guy he is, even took the day off. Mom was picking up my daughter, from play practice, and shuttling her to dance, or one of her many extra-curricular activities.

We picked Cole up from school. Of course he was excited to get out of school, not fully understanding the implications of his scheduled dental appointment. And after missing a turn or two, because I thought I knew exactly where the building was, we made it to Dr. Dana's office.

Busy -- this place was swarming with kids! We made it to the reception desk, where a polite young lady asked if she could help us. "Oh, yes. My son, Cole Kramer has an appointment." Looking a bit confused, she said, "Really? I don't have him down." Smugly, I pulled out my letter which indicated the date and time of the appointment. She reviewed and apologetically said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Your appointment indicates next week." Next week? Isn't it really the 27th today? Can you please get us in? "Sorry, we are completely booked."

My husband sighed in disgust.

My son said under his breath, "She did it again."

"Again? Cole, when have I done this before?" "Last week, at the other dentist." Oh, yeah. I took off early to take the kids to their local dentist -- the one that was sending me here. Only to find out they were closed -- the appointment was the next day. Thanks God my mom's around. Not sure if I could take off early with "more children's dentists appointments" .

Maybe I need a personal assistnant. Or, maybe we should just start brushing our teeth.

Good Mommy, Bad Cook

Do you remember some of your mom's favorite dishes? I can think of a few. Do you know what my kids are going to remember? Those cherished moment when Dad said, "Should we go out to eat?".

When I'm considering taking a dish to take to a new mother or a grieving family, I ask my husband, "What should I bring? What's the best dish I make?", he's quiet a moment. Then he suggests I buy a Pizza Hut gift card.

Anyway, I discovered a great dish today. It's called a "Burnt Grilled Cheese". Really, it's pretty good. Here's what you do...

Take two pieces of your favorite kind of bread. I recommend sourdough or pumperknickle -- something without a bunch of high fructose corn syrup.

1. Heat a skillet -- spray cooking spray. Always spray cooking spray when you cook.
2. Instead of buttering the bread, spray it with cooking spray. (You might know this already -- it saves calories.
3. Place your favorite cheese in between the bread. (Unbuttered sides in.)
4. Place the sandwich on the grill.
5. Wait a few minutes until the bread is toasted on one side just as you like it. (This can be tricky with pumperknickle.)
6. Turn over, then leave the room and start doing something else. Laundry, Googling on the computer, help the kids with homework, anything really.)
7. When you begin to smell smoke throughout the house, run to the kitchen and turn off the stove.
8. Place your Grilled Cheese on a plate and let cool a few minutes.
9. Pull the good side of the sandwich off the burnt side and nibble on the edible parts.
10. Enjoy and think about all of the extra calories you saved.

Dream on, Kids!

Staring at my sleeping six-year old, I think to myself, “how beautiful this little creature is”. And then a completely disjointed thought occurs. Why didn’t I become an actress? Why didn’t I pursue journalism? Or become a critic?

He has dreams. Dreams of becoming Spiderman. Somedays it’s Batman. There’s even been talk of Ben-10, whoever that is. But Spiderman is typically the superhero of choice.

I can't really say that I dreamt of becoming a banker. A doctor, a rock star, an actress! (I even wrote to the Love Boat when I was ten! They graciously sent me a rejection in the form of a postcard.) Now, I’m the retail manager of a community bank in a small town --"Senior Vice President of Retail" Julie McCoy, eat your heart out.

I love my husband dearly. I love my two children dearly. My job is fine.

His eyes are slightly open. His lashes are so long. Not quite as long as his sister’s. He has the same white eyelash as his father. It’s in the center of their right eyes. I rarely have a chance to watch my daughter sleep anymore. Her head is usually buried in the pillow.

How do you encourage children to always follow their dreams? How do you make sure they don’t always take the "safe route" and forsake their passion?

My son loves his sister. She is annoyed by him, but takes care of him. I love it when she calls him “Buddy”. I still love her little-girl laugh. She’s ten now. Why does she seem so much older?

Mom encouraged me to try out for a play in college. I never did. In high school, I surprisingly was selected to play the female lead in “Flowers for Algernon”. But I had to kiss the male lead. I kissed him on the cheek. My drama coach was not happy with me. I would like to play the supporting actress in a movie. That dream has passed, I think.

I brush his hair back with my hands. It calmed him as a baby. Being a mom is the best. There’s much more to me than pricing CD rates, going over schedules and listening to complaints. I still dream too. Maybe of not being an actress, but I dream. Someday I will become a published author. Someday I'll make the bestseller list. Someday I'll be a guest on Oprah -- that would be the ultimate. Actually, I would love to be a guest...

Anyway, dream away little ones. Keep dreaming.