As I was listening in church this past weekend, and thinking about service and God and all that stuff, I decided something. I need to quit being so bitchy. And help out more. And not be bitchy about helping out. My kids were putting up such a fuss about being servers in church. Really. For one heroic hour, they help our priest perform Mass. Our priest doesn’t happen to be one of those “beat-you-with-a-ruler” if you screw up types. He’s fairly forgiving when mistakes are made. And it’s not like the tasks are excruciating, so I was wondering why the kids were so put out. Perhaps they get their sour attitudes from their parents. As I thought more deeply about their parents’ approach to service, and life, I wondered…perhaps we’re not the best role models in terms of looking at the glass half-full. We do tend to gripe...maybe too much. You know? Bitch for the sake of bitching?
I really think my innate nature is to look at the sky, rather than search the ground for snakes. (Although, I’ve come across TWO in the vicinity of our living quarters recently, but that’s another story I don’t wish to discuss in case the kids read the blog and find out some unpleasant truths…) But for some reason, I’ve allowed myself to be coated with a negative aura. I hear myself feeding into the slightest bit of juicy gossip—even if it doesn’t impact my life whatsoever. For example, I recently noticed myself criticizing Kanye and Kim's choice of "North West" for a baby name. Why should I care if it sounds like an airline! I'm sure they don't care what I think. Here's the right way to think about that whole business: Another beautiful, healthy baby was brought into the world that will probably bless us with either A) fabulous music, or B) another...reality show. Okay...I'm gonna stop with my commentary while my positivity is still overriding my cynicism.
Back to task. I want to be the mom my kids and hubby are happy to see when I come home. Not the one, whom they hide from in the basement or the office, hoping I don’t complain about the mess or insufficient completion of chores. So, here’s my plan. I have a twenty-minute commute between work and home every night. I usually listen to NPR—basically just another extension of work to gather information from Marketplace. But maybe I need to pray during that time…to think about what good things there is to be done in the world (or at least in Shelby County… or maybe just our farm). And when I get home, I’ll discuss those ideas with my family, instead of how freaking messy the house is.
I’m pretty sure they’ll like the change of pace...
I've actually been experimenting with this new system already, but my family seems unaware. They look at me suspiciously...like I'm trying to catch them in the act of wrongdoing. It might take awhile for them to acclimate to the new me. (It's only been a few days.) Admittedly, it feels a little strange–this new habit of not being crabby when I walk in the house. But it feels kind of good. I like it. I even cooked something a bit gourmet the other night. Take a look at this! Alex and I were the only ones who really liked it, but I think everyone at least appreciated the attempt.
|Bacon, potato and asparagus pizza!|