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Sunday, December 5, 2010

Dear Mr. Dyson

I've been a little obsessed with my vacuum lately.  Of course, it all started with this dog, Percy.  We keep saying that we're gonna keep him outside more. But that resolution is toast as soon as the mutt bats his big black eyes in our curtain-less windows. We can't resist his canine charm. Consequently, we live in hairball hell.

You know that song "Me and my shadow?" Don't know any of the other lyrics, but that's the tune that rolls through my brain as I grudge to the closet to, once again, vacuum most specifically those spots that Percy has frequented.  So, here's my story.

For those of you with bagless vacuums, have you ever studied the quantity of your carpet debris? I'm not so interested in quality, because in our house, it's mostly gray and hairy. But it's the quantity that amazes me! I've been emptying that compartment everyday - not because I need to so much - but mostly out of curiosity. But here's the problem. I'd like to know more specifically what I've done in a day. Empirically, my family and I will tell you of the vast and disgusting amount. "Look at that Doug! It's a one-day collection!"  Dyson should consider adding a metric line to their amazing machine. Seriously, since they want to disclose the grime of our carpet anyway, why not measure it as well?  Soon, women will quit talking about the loads of laundry they've done. It will become passe'.  You'll start to hear comments like "I dumped 9 gallons of gunk from my Dyson this week." And who wouldn't rather talk about dirt, than laundry?

Happy dog - basking in the rug.
Anyway, just some food for thought for the Dyson folks.

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