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Thursday, August 4, 2016

How to Watch #Baseball with your Hubby

When I met my future spouse in 1991, he told me he played baseball. I assumed he meant he played on one of those recreational softball teams which are infused with former high school athletes. When I asked when his next softball game was, he quickly corrected me. "Baseball, not softball."'

Thus, my education began.

Before we dated, I knew a little something about the sport. And I mean, a little something. Here's what I knew:

  1. Three strikes, you're out.
  2. A player can walk to a base if the pitcher hits you with a ball.
  3. Baseball players are oh-so-cute in their uniforms.
I've come a long way in 25 years.  Be prepared to be impressed, because now I things, like:
  • The suicide squeeze
  • A knuckle ball
  • Warning track power
  • Baseball players are still oh-so-cute in their uniforms.
Admittedly, I wasn't a great student of the sport in our early years. Truthfully, I only liked to watch Doug play. When I tried to watch a game on TV with my new boyfriend, I'd be astonishingly bored. I'd try to ask questions, but here's the thing about that. Asking remedial questions to someone who's infinitely passionate about baseball is something like explaining tax law to a toddler. You tend to respond in abrupt and purposely oblique answers to quiet the interrogator. That way you can get back to the game.

I'm a strong believer in broadening horizons. And finding common interests is one of the most rewarding experiences in a relationship. So through the years, I learned the secret to watching baseball with my hubby. If you're married to or dating a baseball aficionado, here's some guidance: 
  • Watch a complete inning without asking any questions. Be amused by the commentator, even if you don't completely understand the jokes.
  • After picking up on some of the basics, begin to write down phrases that have perplexed you. Again, don't ask questions yet.
  • Google all of the phrases you've collected–make sure to attach the word baseball to your list of phrases or you might find yourself in some sketchy territory.
  • Don't try to learn everything all at once. You've got all season, from opening day in April (a big deal, btw) to the World Series in October (another big deal).
  • When you begin to feel comfortable with a baseline knowledge, understanding terms such as a grand slam or no-hitter, feel free to begin light discussion of a game, IF AND ONLY IF your husband is watching a meaningless game like the Braves versus the Blue Jays.
  • Don't ever laugh at reaction to a call that appears to be so heated, he must be joking. He's not joking.
  • Finally, if the Royals are one out out away from losing the World Series, quietly finish watching the game in another room. Don't worry, there will always be another year, when they do win, and you will celebrate with your spouse the entire evening. That will be fun.
Doug rarely traveled before we got married. Traveling happens to be something I love to do. As mentioned before, finding common ground is how healthy relationships thrive. And it's been really, really great. Now we travel together quite a see many-a major league baseball game.
Watching da

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