#momconversation with Joan Gubbels: straight talk on depression

One of the great rewards of being employed for a family-focused organization in a tight-knit community are the friendships developed on the job. I work in the Finance/Operations area of the Shelby County State Bank with Joan Gubbels who happens to be a double cousin of my husband–like I said, a tight-knit community! We work closely together on many projects and it’s sometimes eerily similar to working with my husband–if he would have any affinity for accounting, that is. Needless to say, Joan and I have plenty of laughs together almost on a daily basis. 

Last summer Joan experienced a personal crisis. She had a nervous breakdown which shocked everyone who knows the cheery and fun-loving person that she is. Joan has been very open about her struggles with depressions with the intention of helping others. By making more people aware of the affliction, she hopes to erase the stigma of the disease.

Here's Joan.

Quick bio (family, current job, where from):  Wife and mother.  Husband – Joe Kids, Jack – 19 Jace – 12 almost 13.  Cashier at SCSB.  Originally from outside Portsmouth but currently live on an acreage near Harlan.

  

Favorite family tradition:  Going to the lake to boat, wave run, fish, camp and make TONS of food.  As well as spending time with our lake family in Lake View.

  

Funniest kid story of late:  When my son was about 5-6 years old, I walked in to his room.  He kept knocking his private thing down.  I asked him what was wrong and he said. ‘IT WON’T STAY DOWN!’  I could hardly keep my laughter in and I said to quit doing that and it would quit standing up.  Then I left his bedroom and laughed a long time.

  

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:  IT is very hard to understand them and you HAVE to pick your battles about what is REALLY important.

  

Opinion on work/life Balance:  I really like my job and the people I work with but my family has always come first. Luckily I have a hubby that is understanding and helpful now.  When the kids were little it wasn’t quite that way. 

  

Guilty pleasure:  Candy Crush – having drinks with friends.

  

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

  

Best family tradition:  Going to Adventureland with my parents and neighbors.  Going to Lake View with my kids and great family friends.

  

Favorite or most-used app:  Candy crush or Facebook

Who’s your celebrity obsession?  There are quite a few but two are older like Sam Elliot, Sean Connery in his younger years, Also, Ashton Kutcher, Matthew McConaughey

What’s your go-to movie? Anything drama like Fast and the Furious or and any love story (kind of sappy).

  

What advice would you give to new parents:  PICK your battles at all times.  Things you might think are important at the time is actually very minor.  Spend time with your kids and GO to their activities but don’t push them into doing them unless they want to.

  

How do you recharge?  Exercising or playing games on my phone.  It helps clear my mind and NOT think about things that are bothering me.

Jace, Jack, Perriann, Joan and Joe

You have communicated your struggles with depression. What would you like to say to others who also struggle? I’ve been going to counseling for years, on and off, more off than on (dumb).  I was hospitalized in my early 20s for depression and now at 46 had a major breakdown in July and was hospitalized for 2 days.  (There’s kind of a funny story about being hospitalized...now it’s funny anyway.)  None of it was fun and I wanted to give up with everything.  I seriously wanted my life to be over, on Monday, July 18^th officially, to take the pain AWAY!  Luckily I kept thinking of my awesome kids, hubby, sisters, brothers, friends and awesome co-workers (my work family.)   The reason I am writing this is I want to remind teenagers and adults as well that life is hard!  Please don’t give up though!!  Each year gets better one way or another but then you might hit 46 and it’s all still not perfect, but if you look back at the awesome kids you’ve created with awesome talents, the awesome husband you need to rely on more and love dearly with amazing talents and cares so much, 10 brothers and sisters that would drop anything to help you along with their kids, my nieces and nephews, as well as awesome in and out laws that always make me feel welcome and would love to help too.  I also have a workplace to go every day that feels or actually is your second family.  Some really GREAT friends, which are WAY too numerous to mention.  I am truly blessed.  I also have an amazing future to look forward to such as  daughter in laws, grandkids, etc.  I don’t have a deathly illness and a lot hasn’t gone my way throughout my life BUT I still try to keep looking forward.  My final and most important point is… suicide isn’t the answer… remember what you have and if you don’t have what you want, find it or fight for it. I keep trying every day.  One other point that I have to make is KEEP going to counseling even when you don’t think you need it anymore. If you have depression – you have depression!!!

Thanks Joan for sharing that very personal story. It's so important to recognize the need to get help in counseling and medication. Like Joan said, "life is hard," but it can also great. Taking care of oneself is the first step in creating a purposeful and rewarding existence.

#momconversation with susie fah, community activist

In our community of Catholic families, I'm what you'd call an underachiever. In other words, I  gave birth to only two children. (The standard is four or five in these parts.) And while I feel I'm sufficiently busy, I'm shocked how these other moms keep it all together. I'd like to think they're closet drinkers. But I know better. They drink wine quite openly.

Susie Wilwerding-Fah was one of the first Earling girls I met when I started dating Doug. I distinctly remember how she confirmed Doug’s cute factor—admitting how she had a crush on him in grade school. (Who couldn’t love that long hair?) I appreciated Susie’s connection with Doug. There’s something about growing up together in a small school that brings you especially close to your classmates. When Susie and her husband, Jeff, decided to move back to the Earling area, we were happy. (More people our age!) The Fah’s bring life to a party. Whether Jeff is busting a move on the kitchen dance floor, or Susie is braiding your hair, they always add that undefinable dynamic that makes you smile through your wine-induced headache the next day. 

Meet Susie Fah.

From the left, clockwise: Stephen, Joseph, Jeff, Patrick, Thomas, Ash, Katherine and Susie.

Quick bio:

5 kids:  Patrick, Thomas, Joseph, Stephen, Catherine and 1 Yorkie named Ash. Hubby:  Jeff J Fah,  Teach preschool at Tri-Center near Neola (Love it!), Grew up on a farm outside of Earling, went to college at Iowa State and lived around that area before moving back to Earling 13 years later to live across the street from my parents.  I come from a family of 8 kids.  Been married for almost 24 years.

Favorite family tradition:  taking vacations with my siblings and their kids, we always have a great time together.

Funniest kid story of late:  I won’t mention which one of my sons did this but . . . two of the kids were sorting clothes and one of them came across nine-year-old Catherine’s bralette/ cami.  Well, he got curious and tried it on.  Jeff walked passed the room and did a double-take.  He was quick enough to snap a photo of it.  Priceless!

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:  Kids want to know that you are there for them (physically and emotionally).  They want to know that you are interested in what they are saying and doing.  If you lend an ear you will learn a lot about them and something about yourself, as well.  I learned a lot about kids through teaching, too.

Opinion on work/life Balance:  Still trying to figure this one out.  I was part time until two years ago.  Going full-time kind of upset my applecart.  I’ve found I am better off letting little things go (like cleaning my house . . . eek!).  I think our kids will remember the more important things rather than stressing over a sparkly clean house.  They know what I turn into when company is coming.  I don’t want them to see that side of me all the time.
A little note about Susie here. While she has her Masters and at one time was a elementary school principal, she changed her career path to teach preschool where she feels she has more impact on kids and has time to be a better mom. This is a great example of the many choices working mothers must face.
Guilty pleasure:  A glass of wine and watching Hart of Dixie with Jeff after the kids go to bed.

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about:   The Help

Best family tradition:   skiing in Colorado

Favorite or most-used app:  Storm Shield (not too exciting but I have recess duty to think about!)

Who’s your celebrity obsession?  Stef Kramer 

I think she means the actress who starred in that great TV series, Hunter.
What’s your go-to movie?  The Sound of Music

What advice would you give to new parents:  Life goes FAST!  Enjoy every stage because kids grow up!

How do you recharge?  Take a nap, go for a walk or run (jog)

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother?  Your kids don’t need to feel your stress if you’ve had a rough day.  Find an adult to use for your sounding board. I try to keep this in mind but I, too, have my occasional explosions.  Jeff might say it’s a bit more often than occasional.  

An occasional explosion with five kids? I think you're justified, Susie!

 

Susie is an amazing person. In addition to her teaching job and raising five kids, she’s always looking for ways to improve the quality of our community and make memories for our children. She was instrumental to getting new playground equipment for our town and leads an annual Easter Egg Hunt for our parish. Right now she's spearheading a “father-daughter” dance to be held Earling on February 3^rd—a night for daughters to get dressed up and be pampered by their doting dads. Thanks Susie for all you do in our community! You're a treasure.

#momlife conversation REBOOT with Mandy Wagner

With the weather turning chillier, it's a fine time to cozy up with a hot beverage and settle in with another mom chat. So grab your poison. Here's another good one.

With Justin Wagner serving as superintendent of our beloved school system, chances are many of you've met Mandy–the adorable wife and mother of the Wagner clan. Our oldest girls graduated together last year. Thus, we endured the same grieving process last year as we sent our daughters away...to college, of course. I asked Mandy to share some thoughts on life.

Quick Bio:

Justin, Carter, Mandy, Brady & Taylor

Married to Justin and mother of three: Taylor(19), Brady(16), Carter(14). Stay at home mom (even though all my kids are school age), but my dream job finally came true 5 years ago!  I thank my husband for giving me the opportunity. I firmly believe that I am a better wife and mother because I can take care of the day in and day out things, and take care of the household and all the details. Then at the end of their school day I can focus on just being Mom and give them the time/attention they deserve!

Note: Not only is Mandy a dedicated wife and mother, but she spends her time volunteering and mentoring.  

The first thing you do in the morning:

Check my calendar for the day

The best advice you've ever given to your kids:

Be the reason someone smiles today! It's the simple gestures that mean the most and can make the difference!

Favorite Family Tradition:

Operation Ho-Ho...it's our name for the crazy black Friday shopping done over Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) is involved and it truly is a mission to divide and conquer and get everybody's wish list checked off! Topped off with breakfast at Perkins to talk about the craziness of it all!

Opinion on Life Balance:

I love the quote,"Balance is not something you find, it is something you create."  With the craziness of life and constant change, I find myself recreating that balance time and time again, with as much gratefulness along the way for all the blessings in life!

Guiltiest Pleasure:

DVR in my bedroom and snapchatting my three sisters 

Most-used or Favorite App:

AccuWeather - I am a weather freak and am constantly tracking weather and following every meteorologist I can on social media to compare it to my weather predictions.  I think I would be a storm chaser in another life!

What's your go-to meal?

Spaghetti is always and quick and easy one in our household, and probably the most requested. But with as much as we are on the go, PB&J and Pringles get packed in our car cooler quite frequently!

Favorite piece in your wardrobe:

Honestly , my jammies are my favorite, especially as the weather gets chilly. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, if I know I am done with all the running/activities, my jammies go on whether its 3pm or 9pm!

How you disconnect:

I am a reality TV junkie, so I'm kind of embarrassed to say I love all those crazy shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress, Naked and Afraid, The Voice, Chopped, Big Brother, Bachelorette...the list goes on and on!

Last thing you do before you go to bed:

Wash my face and say my prayers.

What was the last thing you read or saw that you couldn't quit  

thinking about?

Taking God At His Word by Kevin DeYoung 

It is one of the countless books we get as gifts from my mother-in-law, and I use to complain about all the self-help books she sent (feeling more inadequate with each one.) Over the years I've come to realize how great they are and that she is one of my biggest fans and wants nothing more than for me to be the best person/mom/wife I can be. 

What has been the most surprising thing about being a parent?

Life truly does get better and better! In the moment we worry and cry and fuss about our kids growing up and moving into the next stage of life. We reminisce about what was and how it can't possibly get any better....but each stage is more beautiful and rewarding than the next and it makes me so excited to grow old with my hubby and watch our kids lives unfold!

No one would deny the Wagners are optimistic and kind people who work hard to make good things happen. I think we have a glimpse as to why. Thanks Mandy for sharing!

#momlife conversation. part four.

I'm often thankful I went for my Masters right away, pre-hubby, pre-kids. I'm not sure it would've happened otherwise. So when my friend Becky announced she was going to school to become a teacher, I was happy for her, albeit a little nervous. College isn't easy, especially when you add the role of dedicated mother and wife to your plate. But she did it. And she has a great story to tell!

Here's Becky:

Bio: I currently live in Earling with my husband Jeff of 16 years and two boys; Dalton 14 and Clay 11.  I experienced life outside Shelby County while growing up in multiple states.  Earling is by far my favorite place to live!  This will be my second year of teaching kindergarten at Boyer Valley Elementary School.   

Favorite family tradition: We really try to sit down and have meals as an entire family as many times a week as we can.  I love talking with the boys and Jeff about their day.  We love to drive around the countryside together, whether it’s in an ATV or our vehicle together.  We have some pretty fun conversations while doing so. 

Funniest kid story of late:  My boys have the best personalities!  They are completely opposite, but each funny in their own way.  Dalton always has something goofy to say or do and I love laughing with him.  Clay has a belly laugh that has been contagious from a very young age, and he is usually laughing at his brother.  

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother: PATIENCE!  I have a type A personality; which really seems to hinder the fun times if I don’t put myself in check once in a while.  Having boys means messy rooms, smelly socks (or smelly anything to do with clothing), a lack for the details, and constant boy life habits.  Did I mention I have a type A personality?! I have learned that the mess can truly wait (to an extent!)  I cannot expect them to want things done the same way as I do.  Patience was not something that came easily to me.  I have learned to really take a deep breath and just simply let some things go!  I knew I would love my children, but I never imagined how much love you truly have for them as their mother.  I am blessed to be a mother and thank God for that daily! 

Opinion on work/life balance:  Last year was my first year away from my boys working full time. I was a full time college student for 4 ½ years and managed to make it to most of the boys’ activities while doing so.  I was a stay at home mom before that and made it to everything!  This year was really hard on me for the balance factor.  Jeff was amazing at picking up my slack this last year.  This is where and when I had to let some things go.  Family has always come first, but now, I had to make it a priority when my time was limited.  I am still a work in progress on the whole balance of both!

Comment: Having a supportive husband goes a long way on the work/life balance issue. And "work in progress" is a great way to describe every woman's attempt at balance!

Guilty pleasure:  I love to simply eat a bowl of cereal for supper.  Who am I kidding; it’s never just one bowl! And, it’s not healthy cereal.    

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about: I just finished to book “Me Before You.” I loved the book, but still thinking about the ending.  I can’t wait to read the sequel.  

Best family tradition:  We tell our children good-night EVERY night, whether we are home or we call and tell them good-night and that we love them.  I want them to have the last thing they hear from me every day is that I love them.

Favorite or most-used app:  Jane.com:  It has everything from clothes, to household items.  I love to look through it and find items for a reasonable price. 

Who’s your celebrity obsession?  I cannot say I really have a celebrity obsession, but I love movies with Reece Witherspoon.  I can spend a Sunday afternoon watching Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama.

 What advice would you give to new parents:  Sleep when you can!  Also, time goes so quickly, so enjoy your children while they are with you.  You may want time to go faster, but really, it goes too fast on its own. Take time for each other. Try to make time to go on a date when you can. Your children are important, but your relationship is important also. When they are gone, it’s only the two of you! Breathe! NO ONE is a perfect parent!  We have all been there and understand if your child is throwing a screaming fit in the middle of the homily at church! 

How do you recharge?  Running! I love to run and it really does recharge me.  It is “me time.” 

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother:  We all make mistakes and lose our patience, but it’s important to show your children unconditional love.

Thanks Becky for sharing. Love your comments on learning patience. I'm sure there's a pack of mothers out there who completely relate!

Becky and her Boys!

#momlife conversation. part three.

Every family has those "go-to" friends, which are really an extension of your own family. When Doug and I were first married, we began to chum around with Amy and Pat Hoffmann. We've had memorable vacations together, only fearing for our lives one time. We've frequented the best and worst bars together, if there is such a thing as a worst bar. We've revived disco at each others' houses a few times. And we've laughed. A lot, we have laughed.

Amy is one of my best friends. She's like the person who can send me a one-word text which will crack me up. Her sense of humor and energy are really a feat when you consider well...five kids.

Here's Amy:

Bio: Married to Pat for 19 years. Currently work as an RN at Little Flower Haven. We live in Earling with our 5 children, Lexi 18, Dave and Will 16, Mike 8 and Charlie 6.

Favorite family tradition: Going to the zoo with my husband and kids for Mother's day. I love going to the zoo and Pat isn't a huge fan so I have figured out a way for us all to go as my Mother's day present.

Funniest kid story: I wouldn't even know where to begin. With a houseful of comedians we laugh a lot at our house.  I would say all my kids have a bit of their dad's personality and it's wonderful.  They are very witty.

Since Amy couldn't commit to a story, I'll pitch in with one of my favorite Hoffmann stories. When Amy found out she was pregnant for a third time, Lexi was 10 and the twins were 8. They sat the kids down to announce the good news. The kids were excited, thinking they were getting a puppy. When they were told Amy was having a baby, the kids burst into tears.

Most surprising thing I've learned about being a mother is how I feel about them growing up.  I have told them all many times I wish I could make them all little again and start over.  My greatest joy in life is being a mom. It's something I always knew I wanted to be.  I would have 10 more kids if I was younger and if I could talk my husband in to it.

Opinion on work life balance: I hate to say it -- I wish I was a stay at home mom.  I usually feel like I spend all my energy at my job and leave little left for my family.  I enjoy what I do and people I work with but just my thoughts on it.

Guilty pleasure: So many...  Time for myself-  OR even better time with a friend getting our nails done and having dinner or shopping. 

Note:  Amy and I often try to "schedule" girls' days. It isn't easy. We're lucky if we get 2-3 of these a year. But they are totally worth it. Even if you have to endure a bleeder during the manicure.

Go-to movie:  Many-- I love watching movies.  My all-time favorites include Pretty Woman, One Fine Day, A lot Like Love, Love Actually, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility.  I could go on and on. 

Advice to new parents: Enjoy every minute.  Snuggle lots, rock them to sleep, and relax. It's very easy to get overwhelmed, but everything usually works out. It goes way too fast so savor every moment.

How do I recharge:  Different than how some answered -- Stef will understand.  (See Ann Heithoff spotlight...) Reading, Baking- I love to bake and eat sadly.  My waist does not appreciate this.  Time with family and very rarely but a date night with Pat also helps.  I love to spend a day or afternoon with a friend shopping or seeing a movie.  Sitting on our deck with friends with drinks and great laughs.

Note: Love the parties on the patios that probably rock the entire town of Earling.

The Hoffmann's, awesome people...even in Cyclone gear.

#momlife conversation #2

We all need peeps whom we can share thoughts and challenges with. This is especially important at work, where we all spend so much of our time. I have the pleasure of working with Ann Schwieso, our Head of Retail at the bank. Ann and I have had many-a-discussion on women issues. Maybe someday all of our colorful insights will be published! In the meantime, enjoy Ann's perspective and take on life.

Quick bio (family, current job, where from):Ann Schwieso, wife of Chris; we are both natives of Shelby County (rural Harlan & Defiance).  Mom to three girls (Aubrey 9, Mia 7, Kendall 3).  Community Banker at Shelby County State Bank in Harlan, IA.  Proud Iowa State Cyclone fan and alum. 

Favorite family tradition:  Some of my favorite family memories are when we travel to Ames to cheer on the Cyclones, we like to attend football games, basketball games, and show our girls around campus.  That time spent as just the five of us is special and I hope those are memories that our girls look back on fondly in the years to come. 

We also have a family tradition of celebrating ½ birthdays with sprinkle pancakes for dinner.  Sometimes we go so far as to put a candle in the pancakes and sing.  It is fun celebration to look forward to.

Funniest kid story of late:

I have so many memories of my girls that make me smile as I recall them.  It is so fun to see life through the eyes of girls at 3 different ages. 

Most recently my funny stories involve our 3 year old, Kendall.  She is at the age where she is adorable, witty and funny in one second and on the floor mid-tantrum the next.  It is amusing that my older girls get to see how ridiculous the mood swings can really be.

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:  I continue to be amazed at how different my children can be.  They have the same mother and father, are all the same gender, and are being raised in the same environment, but yet they are so very different.  It reminds me that God is amazing and creates each of us just as we should be.  But it also baffles me as a mother when they are motivated by such different things, and their personalities can be so different.  It keeps us on our toes.

  

Opinion on work/life Balance:  This is a daily struggle for me.  I have guilt when I am not with my children, but when I am with them for extended periods of time I have a pull toward my career and work.  That comforts me that I am doing the right thing, I don’t think I have the patience to be a stay-at-home mom (god bless those that do).  I love my children, I really do, but patience has never been one of my strengths.   I also enjoy the satisfaction of my contribution to my employer.  In my mind I think working 4 days a week sounds perfect, not attainable in my current role/career, but it sure sounds great.

Guilty pleasure:  Chocolate, bad TV, and me time.  Speaking of me time, I am protective of my lunch hour, it is a dedicated time when I get to decide what takes place.  Some days I spend it folding laundry and unloading the dishwasher, and other days I just sit and do nothing.  I appreciate that I get to make that decision without interruption and without others schedules to consider.  I also realize that in 10-15 years this will sound ridiculous and selfish that I enjoyed an hour to myself, but for now, it is precious.

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about: I have 2.  Bloom by Kelle Hampton and Carry on Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton.  Both books are written by bloggers that I enjoy following.  And both gave me great insight about life in general as well as perspective on parenting.  Perspective is such an important part of parenting in my opinion, just to know that others have the same thoughts and challenges, and to see how they navigated those things can shed a light on my current happenings.

Who’s your celebrity obsession?  I have had a thing for Matthew McConaughey for many, many years.  It’s okay, my husband is aware of this and somehow isn’t concerned.

What’s your go-to movie?  I love the older Disney movies (Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast, Little Mermaid) I can recite every word and sing the songs and my children only seem to mind slightly.

  

What advice would you give to new parents?  There will be days when all that you can do is get from one dirty diapers to a feeding and then back again, you will feel alone, and you will feel like you haven’t accomplished anything by the end of the day.  But there are days when you look at this precious being(s) and realize that you did this, you created this person and you get to experience life (all of it, the ups and downs) with this amazing gift.  That is when you will think back to the hectic days and remember that in midst of diapering and cleaning up fluids you DID accomplish something, and your something is incredible.

  

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother:  I am acutely aware that my “daily” routine will change as my kids grow.  What I consider busy now will be nothing compared to the busy that comes with 3 teenagers (pray for me).  And that as quickly as this all changes, that means they are growing up and needing me less.  I know it is coming and I know that realization will be bittersweet. 

Lastly, I think all moms (working in the home or out of the home) need a network.  Other moms, sisters, friends, coworkers, just a group pf people that you can talk to, vent to, and laugh with.  Having that sounding board is truly therapeutic.      

Wise words Ann. You could find Ann's blog at Schwieso.blogspot.com Be prepared for some darn cute pics.

The Clan of Schwieso

Blog Premiere of #Momlife Conversations

Today I'm starting something new. With all of the amazing mothers I know, I decided this would be the perfect platform to publish a series of spotlights. The intention is to offer you all some insights to improve your life and, of course, make you laugh.

It's with great pleasure to introduce you to Ann Heithoff, a third grade teacher in Harlan. I got to know Ann after our sons struck up a friendship in middle school. Ann and I have commiserated on many lost, Nike teenage boy sweatshirts. Isn't it wondrous what can bring people together? Anyway, with no further adieu, meet Ann:

I'm really just a small town girl from Westphalia. I met my Carroll county Catholic boy, married him, and became an Air Force wife. We've been together 18 years.  In that time, we have moved 5 times, had 3 kids (Michael 14, Kate 13, Alex 9) and lived on 2 continents.  Then after Chad got orders back to Offutt, HE suggested we move and settle to my hometown, AND he offered to commute to work. 

Now, we live in our forever house. We go with our family to church in the same church where me, my parents, all 4 grandparents & some of my great grandparents were a part of. Our kids will graduate from my high school. And all of our kids are happy, healthy, and have great friends. How lucky can a girl get?

Funniest kid story of late:

Alex (age 9) wore Chad's desert goggles to the baseball game last night. 

Michael (age 14) told me he loves driving a tractor but isn't good at backing it up when it has a trailer. He was very concerned. OMG - who is good at that??

Kate (age 13) wants another dog cause our current dog, Molly, needs a friend. 

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:

Most nights, our teenagers come find us for a before bed hug. That is the best part of the day. Hugs from teenagers - the hugs that they initiate - are the best!!

Also, my 9 year old still loves being sung to and tucked in at night. What a treat!

Opinion on work/life balance:

It's hard balancing the two, but find ways to make it work for you. I am not afraid to admit that I have a cleaning lady for my bathrooms & hard floors. I pay Kate to vacuum. (Is that bad?  It's her way to earn money, right?  It's like her summer job.) 

Make time to hang with each kid - just the two of you. 

Always stop to get ice cream. Life is too short to count the calories in ice cream.   

Shop on-line!!! It saves time. 

Guilty pleasure:

Peanut buster parfait with hot fudge AND caramel 

Chips & guacamole

(Maybe not all in one setting.)

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about:

Goodbye Def Leppard (I'll Miss those Jeans) - I love that it takes place in Shelby county.  

Disclaimer: The author of this blog did not pay Ann to say that. But I'm feeling lunch is due.

Best family tradition:

Christmas Eve mass with just us 5, then lasagna afterwards. On Christmas Day going to the Goetz and Heithoff Christmas celebrations.

Favorite or most-used app:

Teamsnap - it has all my kids' practice and game schedules.

Who’s your celebrity obsession?

Bon Jovi, of course.

What’s your go-to movie?

American President

What advice would you give to new parents:

Never wake a sleeping baby to feed it!

Get a dog!

How do you recharge?

Hanging with Chad whether it's a date, a 4 wheeler ride or a landscaping project.

Morning workouts on my eliptical.

NOTE: The last response was edited to maintain the PG-13 nature of the blog. Next time you see Ann, ask her how she really recharges.

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother?

It's a tough balance. But it's worth it. 

If you screw up a drop-off or pick-up time, your kids will survive. 

It's ok to sometimes to put yourself first and tell your kids no because you want to go do something. They will survive. 

Grab your kids and hug them everyday - even the teenagers that try to escape your grasp. They will survive. 

Find a working mom friend or group of friends to hang out with and laugh. We are all in the same boat. I'm shocked at how many times they screw up too! It makes for a night (or afternoon) full of laughs!

 Great insights Ann. Thanks for your poignant thoughts and, of course, the laughter.

The Heithoff Tribe

Peace out.