Rainbow Moments

I did snap a photo before it disappeared!

The other morning I went for a walk and spotted a rainbow! It was brilliant and fascinating–as rainbows tend to be. My mind drifted to consider the sequence of colors and if I ever colored them correctly as a child. Blue purple red? Or yellow orange green? When I looked up again, it was gone.

Last week my fortune cookie said, "Don't rush through life. Pause and enjoy it." Easier said than done. This would entail ridding myself of incessant worry. Am I making a difference at work? Have I spent enough time with my parents? Did I get that uniform washed? Should I continue to write? Can I pray just once without other thoughts invading my mind? Am I being a good mom? Could I be a better wife? Ha ha. Just kidding on the last one. I could not be a better wife. (That should get me some feedback.)

Living fully in the present. It seems to be a challenge in this world of bazillion obligations. After putting much thought into this topic, I have concluded that observing children can help. Alex used to drive me up the wall when she was little. Wherever we went, she had to touch and study anything that caught her attention. Colorful candy bar wrappers were a favorite. Instead of scolding her, maybe I should've taken her lead and learned to linger. Linger therapy. Maybe I'll market that.

Perhaps the key is to engage in those activities with so much sensory stimulation, the brain doesn't have room to process anything else. These activities can actually come in the sneaky form of responsibility. A mentoring trip to the zoo. A soccer game. A vocal concert. Even stargazing while taking the dog out for his nightly duty. There really are ways one can be fully present....even with a to-do list tapping at your brain.

Tonight I noticed the lilacs on my tree beginning to wilt. Rather than rushing into the house to feed my laundry machine, I sat in my flower bed picking at weeds–and breathed in the fragrance of my lilacs. I did this until I felt the storm rolling in. And you know what? I didn't even feel anxious about my undone chores. Not one bit.

Maybe I'm starting to get this living in the present concept. And it really does seem to be a gift.

#momlife conversation REBOOT with Mandy Wagner

With the weather turning chillier, it's a fine time to cozy up with a hot beverage and settle in with another mom chat. So grab your poison. Here's another good one.

With Justin Wagner serving as superintendent of our beloved school system, chances are many of you've met Mandy–the adorable wife and mother of the Wagner clan. Our oldest girls graduated together last year. Thus, we endured the same grieving process last year as we sent our daughters away...to college, of course. I asked Mandy to share some thoughts on life.

Quick Bio:

Justin, Carter, Mandy, Brady & Taylor

Married to Justin and mother of three: Taylor(19), Brady(16), Carter(14). Stay at home mom (even though all my kids are school age), but my dream job finally came true 5 years ago!  I thank my husband for giving me the opportunity. I firmly believe that I am a better wife and mother because I can take care of the day in and day out things, and take care of the household and all the details. Then at the end of their school day I can focus on just being Mom and give them the time/attention they deserve!

Note: Not only is Mandy a dedicated wife and mother, but she spends her time volunteering and mentoring.  

The first thing you do in the morning:

Check my calendar for the day

The best advice you've ever given to your kids:

Be the reason someone smiles today! It's the simple gestures that mean the most and can make the difference!

Favorite Family Tradition:

Operation Ho-Ho...it's our name for the crazy black Friday shopping done over Thanksgiving with my side of the family. Everyone (aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents) is involved and it truly is a mission to divide and conquer and get everybody's wish list checked off! Topped off with breakfast at Perkins to talk about the craziness of it all!

Opinion on Life Balance:

I love the quote,"Balance is not something you find, it is something you create."  With the craziness of life and constant change, I find myself recreating that balance time and time again, with as much gratefulness along the way for all the blessings in life!

Guiltiest Pleasure:

DVR in my bedroom and snapchatting my three sisters 

Most-used or Favorite App:

AccuWeather - I am a weather freak and am constantly tracking weather and following every meteorologist I can on social media to compare it to my weather predictions.  I think I would be a storm chaser in another life!

What's your go-to meal?

Spaghetti is always and quick and easy one in our household, and probably the most requested. But with as much as we are on the go, PB&J and Pringles get packed in our car cooler quite frequently!

Favorite piece in your wardrobe:

Honestly , my jammies are my favorite, especially as the weather gets chilly. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, if I know I am done with all the running/activities, my jammies go on whether its 3pm or 9pm!

How you disconnect:

I am a reality TV junkie, so I'm kind of embarrassed to say I love all those crazy shows like Toddlers and Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress, Naked and Afraid, The Voice, Chopped, Big Brother, Bachelorette...the list goes on and on!

Last thing you do before you go to bed:

Wash my face and say my prayers.

What was the last thing you read or saw that you couldn't quit  

thinking about?

Taking God At His Word by Kevin DeYoung 

It is one of the countless books we get as gifts from my mother-in-law, and I use to complain about all the self-help books she sent (feeling more inadequate with each one.) Over the years I've come to realize how great they are and that she is one of my biggest fans and wants nothing more than for me to be the best person/mom/wife I can be. 

What has been the most surprising thing about being a parent?

Life truly does get better and better! In the moment we worry and cry and fuss about our kids growing up and moving into the next stage of life. We reminisce about what was and how it can't possibly get any better....but each stage is more beautiful and rewarding than the next and it makes me so excited to grow old with my hubby and watch our kids lives unfold!

No one would deny the Wagners are optimistic and kind people who work hard to make good things happen. I think we have a glimpse as to why. Thanks Mandy for sharing!

#momlife conversation. part three.

Every family has those "go-to" friends, which are really an extension of your own family. When Doug and I were first married, we began to chum around with Amy and Pat Hoffmann. We've had memorable vacations together, only fearing for our lives one time. We've frequented the best and worst bars together, if there is such a thing as a worst bar. We've revived disco at each others' houses a few times. And we've laughed. A lot, we have laughed.

Amy is one of my best friends. She's like the person who can send me a one-word text which will crack me up. Her sense of humor and energy are really a feat when you consider well...five kids.

Here's Amy:

Bio: Married to Pat for 19 years. Currently work as an RN at Little Flower Haven. We live in Earling with our 5 children, Lexi 18, Dave and Will 16, Mike 8 and Charlie 6.

Favorite family tradition: Going to the zoo with my husband and kids for Mother's day. I love going to the zoo and Pat isn't a huge fan so I have figured out a way for us all to go as my Mother's day present.

Funniest kid story: I wouldn't even know where to begin. With a houseful of comedians we laugh a lot at our house.  I would say all my kids have a bit of their dad's personality and it's wonderful.  They are very witty.

Since Amy couldn't commit to a story, I'll pitch in with one of my favorite Hoffmann stories. When Amy found out she was pregnant for a third time, Lexi was 10 and the twins were 8. They sat the kids down to announce the good news. The kids were excited, thinking they were getting a puppy. When they were told Amy was having a baby, the kids burst into tears.

Most surprising thing I've learned about being a mother is how I feel about them growing up.  I have told them all many times I wish I could make them all little again and start over.  My greatest joy in life is being a mom. It's something I always knew I wanted to be.  I would have 10 more kids if I was younger and if I could talk my husband in to it.

Opinion on work life balance: I hate to say it -- I wish I was a stay at home mom.  I usually feel like I spend all my energy at my job and leave little left for my family.  I enjoy what I do and people I work with but just my thoughts on it.

Guilty pleasure: So many...  Time for myself-  OR even better time with a friend getting our nails done and having dinner or shopping. 

Note:  Amy and I often try to "schedule" girls' days. It isn't easy. We're lucky if we get 2-3 of these a year. But they are totally worth it. Even if you have to endure a bleeder during the manicure.

Go-to movie:  Many-- I love watching movies.  My all-time favorites include Pretty Woman, One Fine Day, A lot Like Love, Love Actually, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility.  I could go on and on. 

Advice to new parents: Enjoy every minute.  Snuggle lots, rock them to sleep, and relax. It's very easy to get overwhelmed, but everything usually works out. It goes way too fast so savor every moment.

How do I recharge:  Different than how some answered -- Stef will understand.  (See Ann Heithoff spotlight...) Reading, Baking- I love to bake and eat sadly.  My waist does not appreciate this.  Time with family and very rarely but a date night with Pat also helps.  I love to spend a day or afternoon with a friend shopping or seeing a movie.  Sitting on our deck with friends with drinks and great laughs.

Note: Love the parties on the patios that probably rock the entire town of Earling.

The Hoffmann's, awesome people...even in Cyclone gear.

Life...a little after 40

A couple of weeks ago, we went to see This is 40. I didn’t really care if the critics raved about it, I just had a feeling the show would resonate. And it did. I loved it. It validated the fact we all tend to muddle through the same, intimate, terrifying, despicable, lovely, hilarious, monstrous, adorable, awful and mundane issues of everyday life. The themes of the movie I liked best? (Anti-spoiler alert...the rest of the blog contains no information about the movie.)

Parenting: Even if you ever pictured yourself as a June Cleaver or a Claire Huxtable, by the time you turn forty, your parenting style turns a bit lax. Ideas of organic feeding troughs, or unadulterated PBS are tossed out the window. Oh, sure you have spurts of ambitiousness, banning sugar and declaring family game nights in lieu of the TV. But it only takes a few days of Parchesi before you're curled up with the kids, eating zebra cakes, and watching Ted for the third time. Okay, maybe that's just me.

Romance: Not too many years ago, I’d put a fair amount of thought into my New Year’s Eve attire. And I still do! But my thoughts have taken an Eddie Bauer approach. I choose the sweater that will keep me fairly warm and select shoes which will have the least likelihood of me falling. I'm not to the hip-breaking point, but I certainly don't want to trip. And if I would’ve had just an inkling of romance in me this year, I wouldn’t have chowed down on the yummy Brussels sprouts that commanded me to the ladies room and left my stomach spinning, spinning, spinning. I didn’t even get to eat my dessert! (Only someone over 40 would be pissed about that.) My lucky husband. We were home just a few seconds before the ball dropped. In central time, that means 10:59:50.

Money and In-Laws: In the interest of time, I think I'll leave these topic for another time. They deserve their own post.

  

You know what? I kind of like this juncture in our lives. We certainly are more interesting…i.e., this time when our morphing body parts seem to be taking a life of their own. Who knows what mole or whisker we'll wake up to find growing on our face or back? The only certainty? My husband and I will be the only people vaguely interested. And we'll probably discuss the protrusion, with a sense of glee, for the entire morning.

Yep. This is 40. Wonder for 50 will have in store?

Back to Work, After a Week Off..

A Message to Boomers...

I really do have a great respect for all you Baby Boomers. After all, you are a pretty cool bunch. You brought us The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, and other way-awesome bands. You made this country realize how important diversity is. You redefined the role of grandparents by refusing to age. There is no doubt that the Boomer generation deserves respect. But there’s an issue we don’t see eye-to-eye…

Is it really so bad that we younger generations would like a better balance between work and family? The nights I leave the office by 5:00, my boss looks at the clock and makes a comment like, “Oh, you’re leaving already?” Yep. And it isn’t like I’m going to go home, put my feet up and eat bon-bons. If I don’t have to pick up a prescription or get groceries or run kids to some activity, I’m usually rushing home to toss in one load of laundry (so the kids have underwear tomorrow) while making a mediocre supper and skimming the daily headlines so I have a vague idea of what’s going on in the world. Quality time usually begins around 9:00.

Well, that kind of sucks! We’re all half-dead by that time.

My Boomer Mom and my Boomer Dad raised me to work hard and get ahead. I do believe in hard work. It’s good for many more reasons than “keeping up with the Jones’” – like contributing to society, putting food on the table, etc. But I you know what I think? I think we should all wake up at a reasonable hour to take a long walk, smell a flower and spend time talking with the kids in the morning. I think we should get home early enough to take the family to the park, play some catch and settle down in the evening and read a good book together.

It’s been said that Boomers live to work. That’s fine if that’s really what makes them happy. (I think there’s a badge of honor associated with number of hours worked. Or maybe it’s just more money.) But I’d rather work to live. And really live. So, what do you say Boomers? Should we reduce the work week to 40 hours? Maybe 39?

Yeah. That’s what I thought you’d say! 