#momlife conversation. part three.

Every family has those "go-to" friends, which are really an extension of your own family. When Doug and I were first married, we began to chum around with Amy and Pat Hoffmann. We've had memorable vacations together, only fearing for our lives one time. We've frequented the best and worst bars together, if there is such a thing as a worst bar. We've revived disco at each others' houses a few times. And we've laughed. A lot, we have laughed.

Amy is one of my best friends. She's like the person who can send me a one-word text which will crack me up. Her sense of humor and energy are really a feat when you consider well...five kids.

Here's Amy:

Bio: Married to Pat for 19 years. Currently work as an RN at Little Flower Haven. We live in Earling with our 5 children, Lexi 18, Dave and Will 16, Mike 8 and Charlie 6.

Favorite family tradition: Going to the zoo with my husband and kids for Mother's day. I love going to the zoo and Pat isn't a huge fan so I have figured out a way for us all to go as my Mother's day present.

Funniest kid story: I wouldn't even know where to begin. With a houseful of comedians we laugh a lot at our house.  I would say all my kids have a bit of their dad's personality and it's wonderful.  They are very witty.

Since Amy couldn't commit to a story, I'll pitch in with one of my favorite Hoffmann stories. When Amy found out she was pregnant for a third time, Lexi was 10 and the twins were 8. They sat the kids down to announce the good news. The kids were excited, thinking they were getting a puppy. When they were told Amy was having a baby, the kids burst into tears.

Most surprising thing I've learned about being a mother is how I feel about them growing up.  I have told them all many times I wish I could make them all little again and start over.  My greatest joy in life is being a mom. It's something I always knew I wanted to be.  I would have 10 more kids if I was younger and if I could talk my husband in to it.

Opinion on work life balance: I hate to say it -- I wish I was a stay at home mom.  I usually feel like I spend all my energy at my job and leave little left for my family.  I enjoy what I do and people I work with but just my thoughts on it.

Guilty pleasure: So many...  Time for myself-  OR even better time with a friend getting our nails done and having dinner or shopping. 

Note:  Amy and I often try to "schedule" girls' days. It isn't easy. We're lucky if we get 2-3 of these a year. But they are totally worth it. Even if you have to endure a bleeder during the manicure.

Go-to movie:  Many-- I love watching movies.  My all-time favorites include Pretty Woman, One Fine Day, A lot Like Love, Love Actually, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility.  I could go on and on. 

Advice to new parents: Enjoy every minute.  Snuggle lots, rock them to sleep, and relax. It's very easy to get overwhelmed, but everything usually works out. It goes way too fast so savor every moment.

How do I recharge:  Different than how some answered -- Stef will understand.  (See Ann Heithoff spotlight...) Reading, Baking- I love to bake and eat sadly.  My waist does not appreciate this.  Time with family and very rarely but a date night with Pat also helps.  I love to spend a day or afternoon with a friend shopping or seeing a movie.  Sitting on our deck with friends with drinks and great laughs.

Note: Love the parties on the patios that probably rock the entire town of Earling.

The Hoffmann's, awesome people...even in Cyclone gear.

#momlife conversation #2

We all need peeps whom we can share thoughts and challenges with. This is especially important at work, where we all spend so much of our time. I have the pleasure of working with Ann Schwieso, our Head of Retail at the bank. Ann and I have had many-a-discussion on women issues. Maybe someday all of our colorful insights will be published! In the meantime, enjoy Ann's perspective and take on life.

Quick bio (family, current job, where from):Ann Schwieso, wife of Chris; we are both natives of Shelby County (rural Harlan & Defiance).  Mom to three girls (Aubrey 9, Mia 7, Kendall 3).  Community Banker at Shelby County State Bank in Harlan, IA.  Proud Iowa State Cyclone fan and alum. 

Favorite family tradition:  Some of my favorite family memories are when we travel to Ames to cheer on the Cyclones, we like to attend football games, basketball games, and show our girls around campus.  That time spent as just the five of us is special and I hope those are memories that our girls look back on fondly in the years to come. 

We also have a family tradition of celebrating ½ birthdays with sprinkle pancakes for dinner.  Sometimes we go so far as to put a candle in the pancakes and sing.  It is fun celebration to look forward to.

Funniest kid story of late:

I have so many memories of my girls that make me smile as I recall them.  It is so fun to see life through the eyes of girls at 3 different ages. 

Most recently my funny stories involve our 3 year old, Kendall.  She is at the age where she is adorable, witty and funny in one second and on the floor mid-tantrum the next.  It is amusing that my older girls get to see how ridiculous the mood swings can really be.

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:  I continue to be amazed at how different my children can be.  They have the same mother and father, are all the same gender, and are being raised in the same environment, but yet they are so very different.  It reminds me that God is amazing and creates each of us just as we should be.  But it also baffles me as a mother when they are motivated by such different things, and their personalities can be so different.  It keeps us on our toes.

  

Opinion on work/life Balance:  This is a daily struggle for me.  I have guilt when I am not with my children, but when I am with them for extended periods of time I have a pull toward my career and work.  That comforts me that I am doing the right thing, I don’t think I have the patience to be a stay-at-home mom (god bless those that do).  I love my children, I really do, but patience has never been one of my strengths.   I also enjoy the satisfaction of my contribution to my employer.  In my mind I think working 4 days a week sounds perfect, not attainable in my current role/career, but it sure sounds great.

Guilty pleasure:  Chocolate, bad TV, and me time.  Speaking of me time, I am protective of my lunch hour, it is a dedicated time when I get to decide what takes place.  Some days I spend it folding laundry and unloading the dishwasher, and other days I just sit and do nothing.  I appreciate that I get to make that decision without interruption and without others schedules to consider.  I also realize that in 10-15 years this will sound ridiculous and selfish that I enjoyed an hour to myself, but for now, it is precious.

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about: I have 2.  Bloom by Kelle Hampton and Carry on Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton.  Both books are written by bloggers that I enjoy following.  And both gave me great insight about life in general as well as perspective on parenting.  Perspective is such an important part of parenting in my opinion, just to know that others have the same thoughts and challenges, and to see how they navigated those things can shed a light on my current happenings.

Who’s your celebrity obsession?  I have had a thing for Matthew McConaughey for many, many years.  It’s okay, my husband is aware of this and somehow isn’t concerned.

What’s your go-to movie?  I love the older Disney movies (Aladdin, Beauty & the Beast, Little Mermaid) I can recite every word and sing the songs and my children only seem to mind slightly.

  

What advice would you give to new parents?  There will be days when all that you can do is get from one dirty diapers to a feeding and then back again, you will feel alone, and you will feel like you haven’t accomplished anything by the end of the day.  But there are days when you look at this precious being(s) and realize that you did this, you created this person and you get to experience life (all of it, the ups and downs) with this amazing gift.  That is when you will think back to the hectic days and remember that in midst of diapering and cleaning up fluids you DID accomplish something, and your something is incredible.

  

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother:  I am acutely aware that my “daily” routine will change as my kids grow.  What I consider busy now will be nothing compared to the busy that comes with 3 teenagers (pray for me).  And that as quickly as this all changes, that means they are growing up and needing me less.  I know it is coming and I know that realization will be bittersweet. 

Lastly, I think all moms (working in the home or out of the home) need a network.  Other moms, sisters, friends, coworkers, just a group pf people that you can talk to, vent to, and laugh with.  Having that sounding board is truly therapeutic.      

Wise words Ann. You could find Ann's blog at Schwieso.blogspot.com Be prepared for some darn cute pics.

The Clan of Schwieso

Blog Premiere of #Momlife Conversations

Today I'm starting something new. With all of the amazing mothers I know, I decided this would be the perfect platform to publish a series of spotlights. The intention is to offer you all some insights to improve your life and, of course, make you laugh.

It's with great pleasure to introduce you to Ann Heithoff, a third grade teacher in Harlan. I got to know Ann after our sons struck up a friendship in middle school. Ann and I have commiserated on many lost, Nike teenage boy sweatshirts. Isn't it wondrous what can bring people together? Anyway, with no further adieu, meet Ann:

I'm really just a small town girl from Westphalia. I met my Carroll county Catholic boy, married him, and became an Air Force wife. We've been together 18 years.  In that time, we have moved 5 times, had 3 kids (Michael 14, Kate 13, Alex 9) and lived on 2 continents.  Then after Chad got orders back to Offutt, HE suggested we move and settle to my hometown, AND he offered to commute to work. 

Now, we live in our forever house. We go with our family to church in the same church where me, my parents, all 4 grandparents & some of my great grandparents were a part of. Our kids will graduate from my high school. And all of our kids are happy, healthy, and have great friends. How lucky can a girl get?

Funniest kid story of late:

Alex (age 9) wore Chad's desert goggles to the baseball game last night. 

Michael (age 14) told me he loves driving a tractor but isn't good at backing it up when it has a trailer. He was very concerned. OMG - who is good at that??

Kate (age 13) wants another dog cause our current dog, Molly, needs a friend. 

Most surprising lesson you’ve learned about being a mother:

Most nights, our teenagers come find us for a before bed hug. That is the best part of the day. Hugs from teenagers - the hugs that they initiate - are the best!!

Also, my 9 year old still loves being sung to and tucked in at night. What a treat!

Opinion on work/life balance:

It's hard balancing the two, but find ways to make it work for you. I am not afraid to admit that I have a cleaning lady for my bathrooms & hard floors. I pay Kate to vacuum. (Is that bad?  It's her way to earn money, right?  It's like her summer job.) 

Make time to hang with each kid - just the two of you. 

Always stop to get ice cream. Life is too short to count the calories in ice cream.   

Shop on-line!!! It saves time. 

Guilty pleasure:

Peanut buster parfait with hot fudge AND caramel 

Chips & guacamole

(Maybe not all in one setting.)

Last book you read that you couldn’t quit thinking about:

Goodbye Def Leppard (I'll Miss those Jeans) - I love that it takes place in Shelby county.  

Disclaimer: The author of this blog did not pay Ann to say that. But I'm feeling lunch is due.

Best family tradition:

Christmas Eve mass with just us 5, then lasagna afterwards. On Christmas Day going to the Goetz and Heithoff Christmas celebrations.

Favorite or most-used app:

Teamsnap - it has all my kids' practice and game schedules.

Who’s your celebrity obsession?

Bon Jovi, of course.

What’s your go-to movie?

American President

What advice would you give to new parents:

Never wake a sleeping baby to feed it!

Get a dog!

How do you recharge?

Hanging with Chad whether it's a date, a 4 wheeler ride or a landscaping project.

Morning workouts on my eliptical.

NOTE: The last response was edited to maintain the PG-13 nature of the blog. Next time you see Ann, ask her how she really recharges.

Anything else you’d like to add about being a working mother?

It's a tough balance. But it's worth it. 

If you screw up a drop-off or pick-up time, your kids will survive. 

It's ok to sometimes to put yourself first and tell your kids no because you want to go do something. They will survive. 

Grab your kids and hug them everyday - even the teenagers that try to escape your grasp. They will survive. 

Find a working mom friend or group of friends to hang out with and laugh. We are all in the same boat. I'm shocked at how many times they screw up too! It makes for a night (or afternoon) full of laughs!

 Great insights Ann. Thanks for your poignant thoughts and, of course, the laughter.

The Heithoff Tribe

Peace out.