Happy Anniversary, Sniper Babe-

Yesterday marked 17 years of wedded bliss for me and my sweetheart. This day is always overshadowed by web-slinging, nerf gun fights and light saber duels since it also happens to be our son's birthday. And that's okay! Our children were part of the package...right? Right!

So, last night Doug asked me if I was upset that he didn't get me a gift. For one thing, I was way too tired to even consider the question. And another, I was little perturbed that he'd think I was that bitchy. We spent ten days in Florida this year. We just got back from a quick and frightfully expensive trip to Minneapolis. Last weekend we traipsed to the Flat Iron restaurant in Omaha where we feasted on lobster, ribeye  AND ordered TWO appetizers simply because we didn't understand how the menu worked. (Please let's put the credit card away for awhile.) But the climax? The climax occurred this Friday when we got to see Cowboys and Aliens. It doesn't get much better than that....except for perhaps a Nerf gun battle. (I hear artillery fire at this very moment.)

You see, we have the perfect marriage. Because when it comes down to it, we laugh a heckuva lot. It's the secret of our success. And the fact that I'm such a great cook. I'm sure my hubby would agree.

Mr and Mrs Doug Kramer

Mr and Mrs. Mark Kramer

As I finish this blog, I came across a photo of Doug's parents on their wedding day. Mark (rest in peace) and Mary Ann didn't need to shower each other with material gifts and a lot of hoopla. But they knew how to be happy with each other's company. That's all that really matters. That's all I need. My spouse, my kids, my dog, and a few smiles.

PS For you faithful followers, you might have noticed the absence of me stating "my cat." Skye has been missing for one week now. My optimism is beginning to wane...But I'm still holding out hope for the little beggar to show up at the back door. He's been as good as any cat could be.

Guess what else happens at 40?

So I wake up yesterday, thinking about my schedule, when it hits me. It's doctor papschmere day.

At 3:45 that afternoon, I answer pleasantries from my doctor as he takes a peek at my you-know-what. "So, Doug getting a little nervous with all this rain? Uh, try and relax."

I'm as relaxed as I'm gonna get for the next thirty seconds. And just as we seem to be wrapping things up, my doctor throws in an extra surprise. "You're going to hate me for this, but now that your forty, there's one more thing I need to check..."

And before I know it, I'm clenching my teeth and holding my breath. Then I think about my hubby's sarcastic remarks before I left the house. He intimates that I'm probably looking forward to the annual exam -- as if it will be some sort of a sexual experience. Alright Dear, those comments just bought yourself a ticket to see Dr. Jellyfinger himself. Isn't it wonderful growing old together? Maybe we can schedule a couple of colonoscopies together in the next few years.

On a side note...for the second year in a row, my doctor disagrees that a tumor is growing in my stomach. If the jogging doesn't shrink the abdomen, I might have to demand an ultrasound.

My Monkey Man!

The other night we researched our Chinese Zodiac signs. I’m a rooster...apparently I’m confident, motivated and (I really hate to say this) pompous, I guess. Doug is a monkey...curious, mischievous and clever. I knew this, of course. But guess which animals are compatible with monkeys? Rats and dragons. Not roosters. At least it explains why Doug was attacked by a rooster when he was a toddler. No kidding -- he even has the scar.

Who wants to be a perfect match anyway?

I make him read. He makes me relax.
He makes me watch baseball. I make him watch What Not to Wear.
I make him eat vegetables. He makes me eat meat.
He disciplines the kids. I give them hugs.
I discipline the kids. He disciplines the kids even more. (Just kidding...he’s a hugger too.)
I like to spend money. He likes to sav....no that's wrong. He likes to spend money too.
He farts. I never fart, ever.

While we don’t exactly match up in terms of Chinese signs, at least we are both of the “earth” element. I’m sure it’s what keeps us together. Besides who would have known that a rooster and a monkey could create an ox (Alex) and a snake (Cole).

I’ll end with this quote that has nothing to do with the blog, really.

“You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman.” Jane Galvin Lewis

...some Fun that is Funny...

After feeling sorry for myself this weekend for a rather stupid reason (not winning a short story contest), my poor little son ends up with Influenza B. There's nothing like a sick child to make you realize what's really important. Anyway, the 48-pounder seems to be rebounding as he is currently working on one of his "projects" right now.

Anyway, God continued to confirm the pettiness of my self-pity, by a few other events. Today our Bank celebrated President's Day with an all-staff meeting. One of our presentations came from Alegent's EAP program and was entitled, "Using Humor in the Workplace." Truth be told, our staff probably needed that presentation as much as a child needs candy. Cleverly, our presenter had sprinkled some humor through the slideshow, but for some reason kept fast-forwarding through the jokes -- the parts we were all waiting for. We didn't care about the facts(laughing has health benefits, humor reduces stress, yada yada yada.) Get to the good stuff! Give us George Costanza's advice on looking busy at work!

But seriously, our presenter quizzed us on our own humor development. What type of household were you brought up in? What kind of humor was used? What comedies did you watch? Red Skelton? Johnny Carson? Did your Dad play practical jokes!

Not my family.

Oh, sure. We dabbled in the usual bathroom humor that all families enjoy. "Did you hear that fart?" "No, but I smell it!") But we also dabbled in something I would describe as offbeat, on the cusp of morbid, fairly dry and not without sarcasm.

My Dad was near-genius on the art of the game. For those of you who read Goodbye Def Leppard, do you remember the scene when Amy's Dad challenges her to a quick match of the Dead Game? When she must guess the ages of those who died in the paper? Well, that ain't no fiction. It was a common game played (at least twice a week)in the Ronfeldt household.

My Dad also liked to mimic Name That Tune. We played it with a few of my beginner piano songs. After picking a song (without my Dad's help...ahem), Mom and Dad challenged each other with those delicious words, "Sandy, I can name that tune in....notes" Amazingly, my Dad could guess 'Mister Frog is Full of Hops' in one single note.

Mom has always said that humor not only kept their marriage alive -- it saved it. I never really understood what she meant. But now that I've been married for almost 15 years, it's one of those quotes that recurs in my mind frequently. I'd argue that it doesn't only save marriages, but entire families as well. See here? Alex and Cole get it. Of course, kids always do.