A Wicked Holiday is Coming!

I mentioned to someone (a few someones really) how excited I was that our kids were coming home this week. Yes, this week. Not next week when there is an actual holiday on the calendar.

Alex is still in Denver. Cole is now in Scottsdale. The kid who doesn't usually make plans without double or triple-checking with others went ahead and booked a flight for the week before Thanksgiving to save himself some snaps.  I can't blame him, but was concerned that it wouldn't work for Al. Cole must've had a vision, because it did happen to work out. The kids will be here for that wonderful time known as the week before Thanksgiving. 

Everyone with grown children understands how tricky the holidays can be, especially when kids live away from home and have jobs with various time-off policies and have partners who also like to see their own families. So, this year I put my tree up earlier than ever, flipped the lights to orange, wrapped a few gifts in fall-like wrapping paper and put a pumpkin next to it. The celebration will begin when they arrive. And I have plans! 

1. See Wicked for starters -- get those advertisers for the movie off our backs. 
2. Eat at the new Mediterranean Restaurant for some Shawarma. 
3. Repeat the word Shawarma as often as possible. 
4. 
   Sneak our way in to a spa for a mother-daughter manicure while boys do something else fun like...cow chores.
5. Have a few cocktails and hope that Alex whips up something that uses a frothy egg white to entice the relatives to come over. (Last phrase was sarcasm. They don't need egg whites. They know our fridge has libations aplenty.)
6. Make prime rib and/or another non-meat protein that will be surprisingly delicious even to Doug.
7. Discuss the current state of cinema and the literary scene.
8. Avoid politics.
9. Eat some bar food to remind the kids of their roots.
10. Cheer on the Hawks! Or, if you're Alex, read a book during the game.

On Sunday, the kids will head home and we will embark on a more untraditional holiday season. We'll duck out of Thanksgiving at the in-laws early and head to Iowa City for a big game on Friday. We'll scurry back for a wedding on Saturday night. We'll host a Christmas for any family who's around the Saturday before Christmas. We'll catch Mass on Christmas Eve before we take off for Scottsdale on Christmas Day. Christmas night we'll celebrate with Cole and Anna and Facetime Alex and Leo as they celebrate in Oregon. Then, to top off the holiday season, we'll attend another wedding on New Year's Eve. 

It all seems a little unorthodox for a structured person (aka me) who relishes in repeating traditions. I think about all the pageantry I tried to create at the holidays to make it special for the family. I definitely created unnecessary stress. As we transition into a new phase of our lives with grown children, I realize it's not the traditions I care about. It's spending time, doing anything at all, with my people. And the cat, course.

Yay for Sports!

Mom's love for the Iowa Hawkeyes is likely the reason I wanted to go to Iowa City. She was a fan! I was always impressed and amused how much my mother knew about sports when I was young. She was passionate about watching football and basketball –– of the collegiate variety. I was more of a "what's the score" type of gal as I walked to the kitchen to get a snack.

Fast forward to the present. As everyone does, I eventually became my mother. I'd like to say I became a true sports fan as a freshman in college when I went to my first football game. I did become a fan. A fan of tailgating. It was a rarity for me to make it through an entire game in my college years. I even had class with football and basketball players. They were pleasant and normal students, just like me. I certainly didn't feel starstruck. I certainly didn't feel a need to ask them about their upcoming games or talk to them about a great play they made. I was nothing like a certain middle-aged woman who met Caitlyn Clark in a bathroom in Iowa City last winter and didn't want to let her leave. (That woman was me.)

I know so much about sports now, it's almost ridiculous. Ask me what a Nickleback is. I'll tell you that it's not just a popular band from the 2000s. Let me explain to you the pick and roll. I can! So sure, my husband has tutored me on these things, but not only do I understand a few  positions and plays, I enjoy watching them! As long as the team we're watching is executing and winning. And by team, I mean the Hawkeyes.

Has there always been a sports fan within me? Lying dormant through my formative years?

My sister-in-law and I have discussed this phenomenon, because something similar happened to her at a certain point in her life. This phenomenon being a sudden and sincere interest in that world of sports in which our husbands have long been a part of.

Here's the sweet and simple explanation:

Kids.

Once you have kids, you become a cheerleader –– no matter if they love sports or dance or drumming or singing or drawing. When your kid enters a competition, you're all in. Your heart is a pitter-patter, and you want nothing more than for them to succeed. To win! And of course, you're heartbroken if they don't. Probably more heartbroken than they are. But it's a mother's job to cheer on her kids no matter what. I would argue it's a father's job as well. From my experience, however, a father prefers coaching over cheerleading. Whether cheering or coaching on your children, it all seems to come to a halt when they graduate high school. The calendar frees up. Laundry is done in, like, one evening. And you can only watch the same movies over and over again so many times.

So, what better way to fill that newly-drilled hole in your heart? Sports! Not only does it seem to give you purpose by cheering on a team that needs you, but it gives you a compelling reason to shop for fan gear. And if you're lucky? Your team will never graduate.

Go Sports!

Tales about Tails: A Day on the Kramer Ranch

Our empty nest was pleasantly rumpled this past weekend! Not only were we reunited with our daughter and son, but we ran into a few other guests as well.

This story really begins with the loss of a dog in December –– a dog whose digging wasn't appreciated for it's ability to deter. 

Fast forward through some cold and windy months in which the only yard work completed has been the removal of Christmas lights.

It's Saturday, April 23rd. The kids are home and the temperature indicates no winter coat necessary. It's our last day together as a family for a while. Everyone is campaigning for Dad's famous grilled steaks for lunch. The problem, as most of you can guess, is the wind. Not to be outwitted by the weather, Doug and Cole move the grill to our front stoop.

Doug's first move is to re-arrange one of my unplanted flower pots. So he does. And out comes a giant bird who has been gnawing on some dead earth worms. No one but Doug sees the bird, but it's described as tall, fast and scary. I have my theories as to the species. It takes a lot to make my hubby jump.

In the meantime, Alex and Cole are in the kitchen with me quoting movies and brainstorming cocktail concoctions while preparing potatoes. You know, "boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew."

Unbeknownst to us, there's commotion on the stoop.

Doug is cleaning corn husks out of the grill only to find something even scarier than a bird: a mouse. Speedy Gonzales manages to jump on the ledge with Doug on his tail. He finds refuge under my copper water hose pot. Doug lifts it to find the mouse...along with an unlikely mate: a bull snake. Not a bird. Not a mouse. A bull-freaking snake. 

No need to discuss the fate of Speedy and snake, but let's just say only the bird escaped.

On to the next day on the farm: one kid has gone back to Denver. Cole and I decide to accompany Doug on his cow chores to admire the new babies, which of course, never disappoint. With the temperature dipping, Doug decides he needs to move his sprayer and tractor in the machine shed. Cole and I can help guide him as he rearranges equipment. We set up. Cole goes toward the back of the shed. I stay toward the front. Doug is backing up and I'm doing my job, watching closely and motioning him back. He yells something at me which I can't hear. I assume he's wondering if he's on the right track. I nod and keep waving him on. Then he yells something again. I'm thinking he's trying to tell me something beyond the task at hand.

"What?" I yell back to him. 

Then I hear one garbled word from his mouth.

Skunk.

Skunk?

"There's a skunk right next to you!"

I don't look. I don't dare. I skedaddle my way out to safety in approximately 1.5 seconds. 

Why Pepe Le Pew doesn't spray any of us? I don't know. Perhaps we already smell badly enough. Perhaps Pepe doesn't sense any threat from my helpful mannerisms. Perhaps Pepe heard about the mouse and snake and doesn't want to press his luck.

No matter. If there's anything we have learned from this past weekend, it's not about the importance of spending quality time on the farm with the family to experience wildlife. It's purely the fact that we need a dog.

And that we've raised a useless cat.

Undressed

Every Sunday night I step into my closet to plan my wardrobe for the work week.  The outfits I pick are based on a number of factors: what meetings are scheduled, if it's after Labor Day, how high the AC will be running in my office, and, of course, how good my pedicure is holding up for open-toe shoes.  Now, I don't hold myself strictly accountable in case I do something silly like plan to wear a polo with khakis on a day that's not a Friday.

This little exercise usually makes my mornings go a bit smoother. Even though there's no more pouring Fruity Pebbles for the kids, I do have a number of other duties to conquer in the morning: exercise, vetsulin shots for Percy, prayers, shower, makeup, Gayle King, etc. Sometimes there's a hitch that throws my schedule off. The dog pukes in the garage. The cat needs my love more than ever. The hubby needs my love more than ever. But the biggest hitch to my morning routine seems to be when an outfit doesn't come together. And, as you already know, this is after I've already planned it out! 

I've never been accused of having OCD. Anyone who has opened my cupboards knows this. But I wonder if have a bit of a disorder when comes to attire. Take this morning for example.

Because I knew it was going to be a little cooler today, I was excited to wear my new plaid dress pants from the rubi j store (a charming boutique in DT Harlan, Iowa*). But when I put on the shirt I wanted to wear with said pants, I was sorely disappointed with the sight before me. A gut and a muffin top was all I could see. "What in the hell good did all this summer running do?" I said to myself. So, after berating my middle-aged self, I whipped it off to regroup. A voice from the bed (which has a clear visual into the closet) told me I should probably consider changing my bra as well. While I appreciated the suggestion, I didn't have time to reconsider my underclothes. I had a shirt to find.

Next shirt: Same color (off white). Slightly different style. Same result. Yes, the definition of idiocy is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. Thank you Mr. Einstein.

Next shirt: Orange, perhaps to celebrate the first day of fall? It sure seemed like a good idea until I put it on and became a pumpkin-pie-headed freak.

I began to panic, and went back to my original choice. Maybe I was being too hard on myself. I was not.

Finally, in the deep recesses of my closet, I found a cute dusty rose camisole that passed inspection. It did require a strapless bra (to go over my non-strapless bra) because it was a little low cut. Not a problem. Finally, it was ago.

I was off to work, speeding happily on M16 when I happened to look down and noticed my strapless bra slipping, slipping, slipping. It had fallen to my stomach. I had no choice. I had to zip back home and change into a different, more reliable strapless bra that Doug was quick to help me find. (Such a sport...)

Five minutes later...

I was back on to M16, happily speeding once again when I looked at the color of the ponytail holder on my wrist. Horrors. I grabbed a brown one. You see, all my accent colors were black. I glanced at the clock and made an important decision. I'd have to let this one go. Chances were I wouldn't even use the ponytail holder.

Now, I'm a fairly rational and somewhat intelligent person. I read the news and understand that there are issues in the world that matter and what I wear to work on any given day isn't going to help Haitian refugees.

But here's the deal. We are all just human. And sometimes we cling on to those little things that give us a sliver of creative control, even if it does take several iterations to get it right. I'll tell you one thing about it: my hubby never seems to mind.

*shameless plug for my mother's store

Ah! Family Picture Day.
That was a good day to plan an outfit.

The Meddler

It was my turn to pick the movie. As some of you might know, we rotate who picks the movie in our house. Then we pick an actor out of a hat to narrow down the selection. I happened to draw Rose Byrne and was quite excited about the possibilities. Bridesmaids. The Internship. This Is Where I Leave You. Spy. So many good ones to choose from! But despite the 237 streaming services we pay for, all of those movies had a rental fee. (We'll pay hundreds of dollars in streaming services. But we draw the line when it comes to paying an additional $3.99 to rent.)

After an intense IMBD search, we found a movie called "The Meddler" starring Susan Sarandon as Marnie: a widow who moves from New York to LA to be closer to her daughter, Lori, played by Rose Byrne. As you might guess Marnie takes an extensive interest in her daughter's life... and just about anyone else whom she meets. Her daughter's friends. The genius at the Apple store. A patient at the hospital. 

As we watched, I felt a little tingle on my neck. Marnie left several messages, every day, for her daughter. She tended to weave the topic of her daughter into any random conversation. She casually bursted into her daughter's home without knocking. (Why knock? She had a key!) And she always, always, always had advice to give.

I realized, without a doubt, there were some substantial pieces of me in her.

About the time this realization was setting in, Doug shouted out, "I could strangle her! She's driving me nuts!"

Well, okay.

It's been two years since Alex graduated college. Cole just finished his first year in college. I 'd be a liar if I said I don't look at Life360 daily. Usually a few times. I also have to coach myself not to text or call the kids with every fleeting thought that crosses my mind. And when they don't respond, I attempt to Snapchat that I find difficult and depressing.

It's not so easy to turn down the maternal chatter in your brain that goes something like this: "are they safe? are they safe? are they safe? are they happy? are they safe?" (I'm guessing the paternal chatter is lower in volume and frequency with a periodic blip of "did they get their oil changed?")

Back to the movie.

It becomes apparent that Marnie is navigating her grief by wedging herself into other lives. However, she is doing this in the most earnest and compassionate of ways. Eventually the term "meddler" seems inappropriate. It becomes a touching tale with a superb acting performance from the beautiful Susan Sarandon. In other words, I cried.

I don't ever remember feeling like Doug's parents or my parents were overly involved in our lives. Of course, there weren't cell phones in our early twenties. Looking back, I feel like they were perfectly involved, helping us when we needed guidance. But letting us live and make the mistakes that all young adults should make. 

So, I'll try harder to give the kids their space, giving them advice when they ask or letting them know important stuff like when the new season of Ted Lasso comes out or how cute the cat looks on the counter. In the meantime, I'll focus more of my attention to the hubby. 

I sure hope I don't drive him nuts.

A Tribute to Dad on Father's Day Weekend

 My father the second-born, only boy of five kids. I would describe my aunts (Dad's sisters) as vivacious–always ready to greet anyone with a hug and a kiss. I remember Grandma Shirley telling stories of family outings when the girls tore into anything of interest as little Ronnie walked around, hands behind his back, studying things. He was also the kid who needed to be coaxed into going back to school on his second day of kindergarten. Needless to say, my dad isn't a social butterfly, and not very inclined to greet people with a hug and a kiss. But I did learn a few things from him.

Lesson #1: Power of Laughter

Some of my early comedic heroes include Bill Murray, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Dan Akroyd, Chevy Chase, and Ron Ronfeldt. In addition to laughing at the Coneheads, I laughed at my dad. He was uncommonly funny. Dry. A bit twisted. He didn't tell stupid dad jokes like "Three men walk into a bar...the third one ducked." No. He created games like "The Dead Game" and at-home versions of "Name that Tune." I won't explain The Dead Game, as it involves obituaries and a temporary reprieve of decorum. Name that Tune was a bit more innocent–a family tradition beginning shortly after I began piano and learned classics like "Mister Frog is Full of Hops." Dad could almost always name Mr. Frog in one note.

Dad didn't always love attending my activities (Overly-involved parenting wasn't really a thing in the 80's.) It never bothered me. But it was nice when he came to Senior Night when the football team and marching band were being recognized. As the athletic director thanked the parents for all of their support and dedication to the kids, he leaned over to Mom and whispered, "What instrument does Stef play again?" Now, that's just funny.

Lesson #2: Work is Good

I don't know any dad in this part of the world who doesn't try to impart a work ethic into their kids. Dad was no different with his only child–a delicate daughter whose preference was to stay inside and either read or play barbies. I had a lot of standard first jobs: mowing, babysitting, and the pinnacle of all first jobs in Shelby County: walking beans. At first I was excited to be on an exclusive crew of bean walkers and making the high salary of $3/ hour. It only took me about 30 minutes (at most) to tire of the bugs, heat and monster button weeds. But I did it. When I was asked, I did it. One summer, I seemed to be enjoying a reprieve of the fields. Dad took notice of my lazy summer days. One night at supper he mentioned that Forrest Adams was needing bean walkers and I better be ready to go the next morning. My heart sunk to the floor. Being the quick thinker that I was, I replied, "I can't! I have to exercise tomorrow." To be fair, I had just started on a new program. It wasn't a lie. Dad didn't scold me. He chuckled. And rather than feeling resentful, I felt, well, foolish. (I can't imagine if my husband, a true farm kid, would've told his dad he couldn't walk beans because he was starting a new exercise regimen.) It took some time, but eventually I began to understand the value and fruits of working hard. 

Lesson #3: Humility

When my dad was playing football in high school, the coach pulled him aside before a game one night and asked him if it would be okay for the announcer to call out his son's name, instead of Dad's, in the starting lineup. The coach assured him that he would still start and play the whole game. But it would mean an awful lot to the announcer. Who was my dad to argue with that?

One time when I was was in grade school or junior high, I was bragging about how fast I was. (I was super uncoordinated, just fast.) Dad sat and listened. Eventually, he said, "I was pretty fast in school too." Ha! Of course, I didn't believe him. He was an old guy (probably around thirty) who wore work boots and jeans. So, he challenged me. We went out in the yard, he still wearing his boots and jeans. He gave me a head start, which I assured him I didn't need. But lo and behold, he kicked my ass. 

I guess you could say my father is a "character" guy than a man of show. That's why he'd much rather be seen on an antique Indian motorcycle with hints of rust on the gas tanks, as opposed to riding a shiny new Ducati or even a brand new Harley. It's hard not to respect that.

My dad, protecting me from the fish!

The summer after I graduated from the U of Iowa (Bachelor's Degree in hand), I got a job detasseling. I had had a few accomplishments in my life by then, but Dad told me more than once, how proud he was of me for doing that job. It was humbling. It was hard work. But fortunately, I knew how to laugh. All gifts from my father.

Of course, I learned many more things from Dad...things like driving a stick shift. But my favorite lesson of all from him? Love comes in all forms. He might not be a big hugger. But when I stop in for a visit over lunch and Dad shows me his tomatoes or a funny YouTube video, I feel his love for me.

Happy Father's Day, Dad!

Love ya to pieces. 

A Toast to Thirty Years

Thirty years ago, on Memorial Day weekend, I met the love of my life.

I had just graduated from the University of Iowa and was home for the summer. I needed to make a little money and save a little money for grad school in the fall. I didn't hide the fact that I had a bit of heartburn over coming back to Shelby County. The heartburn went away in a hurry. As it turned out, Doug Kramer was my Tums.

Two grown children, two dogs, and an abundance of cats later, I look back on these past thirty years with wonder. How did we do it? How did we manage to be a couple that still talks to each other? To be fair, our talking ratio is usually 70/30, with me doing the lion share. But it's been that way since day one. It works for us.

Anyone who's married knows that it's not all sunshine. This realization actually comes as a shock when you fall in love and you're certain your partner can do no wrong. I distinctly remember my mother telling me something to this effect before our wedding day. I nodded, but smiled to myself thinking, but doesn't she realize I'm marrying Doug Kramer?

Through a few ups and downs, with the downs basically surrounding cow incidents, we now find ourselves in that state of "I'm so glad I ended up with you." I've been thinking about this and boiled down the keys to our happy marriage to five primary tactics. For what it's worth, here they are:

1. Do nice things for each other. A no-brainer, heh? You'd think! But it's pretty easy to rely on only birthdays and anniversaries to do this. And when kids come along, most of the giving energy is focused on them, if you intend to spoil them like most parents. But nice gestures don't have to be big. The smallest of gestures are like little happiness pills. For example,
   
   I'm going to the kitchen, can I fill your water?  Or
   I'm going to the liquor store, do you need anything? (Doug loves buying me alcohol as much as he likes buying it for himself.) Or
   I'm going shopping, can I pick you up some new shoes? (I love buying Doug shoes as much as I like buying shoes for myself. Almost.)
   
   
2. Be willing. I'm not talking about sex, entirely. But we certainly would've missed out on experiences if we wouldn't have melded our lives together. I never would've understood the powerful feeling of driving a tractor, like I did that one time. And he never would've realized the joy of having a cat who likes to eat chips off the counter. Beyond tractors and cats, I truly have a fondness for sports. And sometimes, just sometimes, Doug will be the first to crawl into bed and open a book.
3. Remember why you fell in love. Modesty, cuteness and sense of humor.  Whenever we get a little snippy with each other, I force myself to remember those things that made me fall in love with him. I also do something else. This might sound a little strange, but I don't think about Doug being my husband. I think about him as someone I'm getting to know better and a child of God. I realize that he has his own fears and vulnerabilities. It makes my love for him grow deeper.
4. Consider the tone. Jerry Seinfeld once said, "I didn't know I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical." For some reason, it's easy to be condescending to the people we love most. It's never right, but a spouse and a child always seem to be fair game. And it's toxic! So, I tell Doug to call me on it if my tone becomes impatient with his computer questions. And he understands that he might need to muster up the happiest tone he can while repeating directions to a cornfield five times to a person who's directionally challenged.
5. Movie Night. Obviously, this  is probably the most important aspect to our happy marriage. Doug and I have fairly different preferences when it comes to cinema genres. If we could find a movie that stars Steven Segal as an 18th Century poet, we might have a consensus. But that movie hasn't been made yet. So, we rotate. Thanks to Alex, we now have a new method in which we draw a random actor out of a hat and choose a movie that actor has been in. Not that there aren't a few sighs after a movie has been selected, but for the most part we see a nice variety of killing and poetry.

So, that's it! I love who I ended up. I love the children we created and raised. And I love the home and lives we made together. To the next thirty years...and beyond.

Summer of 1991. Happy Doug.

Summer of 1991. Happy Stef

Plant This!

My mother had a vegetable garden throughout my childhood. The best part, as I recall, was the snapping of green beans before throwing them into a boiling pot. Of course, I'd sneak a few raw ones. The crunch was certainly more satisfying than the unsalted, uncooked taste of those green, velvety beans. When Dad suggested I make a little money by taking over the garden and selling the produce at the Farmers' Market, I quickly became enthused. Mom's reaction was a bit more sober.

It made sense that I take over the garden. After all, Mom worked and my babysitting jobs didn't occupy my entire summer. Of course, I would weed it! Of course, I'd keep up with the picking of radishes and carrots!

Dad usually had a few money-making schemes for me. Once, he built hutch to raise rabbits. He recognized the fast-growing market for rabbits in Kirkman. But fortune was not on our side. We quickly learned that the phrase "breed like rabbits" was a big, fat lie. Not only did our rabbits NOT breed, but they died. Maybe we just lacked the skills of a proper bunny whisperer.

Dad also drew Tippie the Bird for me several times in attempt to win that big cash prize offered to the best artist under the age of 18, as advertised in the TV guide. That only landed us an invitation to attend art school. No cash prize. I always wondered how many kids were kicked out of that school once they realized the parental sketching involvement.

When all else failed, there was always a farmer's field to walk. Since Dad never acknowledged any of my valid excuses (such as my strict exercise routine), I assumed growing a garden might relieve me of the awful job of pulling button weeds from a soybean field.

So, it was a plan.

This is what I envisioned. Still do.

No matter what the age, planting a garden is exciting. It seems so... noble! Carefully laying the seeds in the freshly hoed ground. Watering the rows just so, making the dirt a deep, rich brown. Then waiting and waiting and waiting for that first sprout. When it does, it's magic.

Anyone who grew up in Kirkman knows how easy it was to get distracted. My two best friends and I had things to do (beyond exercising), such as keeping up on Young and the Restless and General Hospital. We were also called to listening to the groundbreaking albums of Joan Jett, Michael Jackson, and The J. Geils Band. (It wasn't so easy to keep up with pop culture in the days of no cable and no Internet.) No matter, it's no surprise it didn't take long for the garden to go to hell, just as the sage in our family had predicted.

Well, I'm a bit older now. I've dabbled in flowers and vegetable gardening throughout the nearly 27 years of our marriage. Sure, I've had some failures. But I've had a few successes as well. The thing I like about this particular hobby? For every fifteen failed projects, it only takes one success to make you feel like an accomplished master gardener. One beautiful lily bloom is all it takes to offset your six failed tomato plants.

I finally convinced Doug to till me a garden again. I've been asking the last few years, but he would usually give me a similar reaction as my mother did all those years ago. Either I wore him down, or he was tired of my never-ending list of house projects now that we are full-fledged empty nesters.  The last time I had a real garden was back at the old house when the kids were little. Alex would sneak the fresh strawberries from our patch, just as I did the green beans.  Cole was too young, but I doubt I could've convinced him to try a vegetable or fruit from the garden––unless of course it would've tasted like a cheeseburger.

So, here I go. The new garden is half-planted. My enthusiasm for this project is over the moon. Who knows if anything will grow? We can be fairly confident that weeds will grow. But I hope, hope, hope I can deliver a few fresh green beans to my mother.

Wish me luck!

A rare pic
of the kids amidst flora...note the gardening Crocs.

Something to Believe In

I'm a Hawkeye. My mama raised me that way. I married a guy who claims to be more of a Hawk fan than me even though I actually graduated from there. He argues that his emotional outbursts during games are proof of his loyalty. Just because I don't have as much testosterone to incite anger doesn't mean my heart isn't on the verge of exploding every time I watch our black and gold competitors! No matter, we do agree that we are quite blessed to have two children who pledged themselves to Herky the Hawk, giving us every reason to trek to Iowa City. (We're also blessed that our kids are healthy and smart and beautiful and yadayadayada.)

My fandom has regained a certain momentum since we no longer have kids to watch from the stands. (Kids that we birthed, I mean. You know, the kind that allows you to leave work early without judgement from others.) Mostly, I like to watch the Hawks. But I really could cheer for just about any team and any sport, except the Yankees (obviously). At this very moment, I happen to be watching women's soccer, as I'm sure most everyone is. Go USA! After experiencing that period in 2020 that confined us to Netflix, Prime Video and the Food Network, I really, really appreciate watching live games. (Doug would argue that replays are better, as long as you know that Iowa has already won.)

The other night I was talking to Alex on the phone, while watching a basketball game. I had to confess this as I was making "OH NOOOO" responses to positive things she was telling me. Doug was gone to a meeting, and my daughter was like, "Wow Mom. I have to give it to you. You're watching basketball and you don't have to?" But here's the deal. I like watching sports. I have always liked watching sports. I learned at a very young age that I was too uncoordinated to play just about any sport I tried.  I was (am) a horrible athlete, so I'm terribly fascinated by people who know how to do things like catch a ball. They make it looks so easy! 

Most recently, I've become completely absorbed in college basketball, watching any "Big10 Journey" that features an Iowa player. It's hard not be a cheerleader for just about anyone when you watch a kid who grew up dressing up like Spiderman and fighting with lightsabers (much like your own kid). It's even harder not to form an attachment and deep empathy for that same kid who has fought cancer. I dare you to watch this and not become a Hawkeye fan. Come on you ISU fans, watch it....

It's been a rough year, as we all know. We're edging toward March Madness–the month we were deprived of last year. It was a dark and sad and scary month. And while we're not out of the woods yet, I encourage every one of you to sharpen your pencils, pick a team, any team, and get yourself ready to complete that office bracket. Forget about all the strife in the world and let yourself get lost in the games. And most of all, find someone to cheer for. Sure, the team might break your heart. But then again, they might not. And there's always next year.

Bleeding black and gold...

The Grocery Store Chronicles

It's that time of the year! When trips to the grocery store are fast, frequent and furious. (Well, okay, perhaps the entire year of 2020 has embodied the fervor of holiday grocery shopping.) Whether you're a Hy-Vee or Fareway fanatic, these stores are the place to be. A home away from home. The place to grab your milk. The place to let Eddie or Joe educate you on all things meat. The place to crash carts with the same person over and over again as you zig zag through the store trying to remember where they moved the Parmesan cheese.

As a kiddo, the grocery store was a magical place that earned me a Kit Kat for being good. Or if things weren't going so well, a threat of getting sent to the car. Sitting in the car wasn't only an acceptable form of punishment in the 70's, it was condoned by mothers who really had no escape.

As a teenager, the grocery store was quite possibly the worst place to be, especially if I had to tag along with parents. Much to my dismay, Mom would usually pick out the lane with the cutest grocery bagger. I tried to play it cool, even as she offered me the Kit-Kat for good behavior.

As a college student, the grocery store was a wonderful place again, especially if I was with my parents who were always generous enough to subsidize a cart full of Ramen noodles, and a few Kit Kats for good measure.

Then I landed my first job after college. I knew I had really made it when I could proudly glide right past those Ramen Noodles wearing my heels and a smart blazer.

When I became a parent, admittedly the grocery store lost its magic. Getting groceries with any child under the age of 8, wearing heels (smart blazer or not) is simply hell. No longer was it acceptable to send kids to the car for bad behavior. And Kit Kats were hardly a bargaining chip. My kids were the masters of manipulation. Getting a Kit Kat was merely child's play for them. If we didn't exit the store without at least an additional $50 worth a crap, I could safely assume they were ill.

I clearly remember the day I was able to get walk into Fareway without the kids. Handel's "Hallelujah" greeted me as I walked into the door. The heavens opened and golden rays of lights shined brightly over the produce as I was able to actually deliberate on which apples I wanted to buy. 

As I tiptoe into this brave new world of empty-nested-ness, one thing has becomes clear–especially during the pandemic. Our grocery stores are treasures. One week after the Kramer family garbage disposal (aka Cole) left for college, I spent $300 on food for Doug and me. I was well-aware we had no kids at home. At first, I thought perhaps I was either channeling some guilt for not having enough snacks at the house for the kids (as I was often reminded of) or guilt from feeding our family too shittily throughout the years in the name of convenience (potato chips as a veggie type stuff). But I think more than anything, I was just relishing.

Someone mentioned to me that it appears we're starting to settle into this new world of no kids in the house. Perhaps my grieved expression has faded a bit. Not that I don't miss our kids terribly. I do. But it has occurred to me that I could and should relish more moments that don't involve the kids–like spending time watching Jerry Seinfeld with my hubby, listening to a friend at work, sending funny texts to my parents, or staring at the meat counter debating whether to try the salmon or the cod. 

For me, here they are...cat and dog included:

Finally, She Writes

Last week a longtime coworker/friend dropped off a graduation gift for Cole. While I had been ticking along all day, just doing my job, this singular, sweet act made me burst into tears. Apparently, beneath this oh-so-calm countenance is an emotional volcano boiling up inside me.

My family is healthy. I have a job which keeps me busy. For those two things, I'm deeply and undeniably grateful. God is good to me. I know this. But there's this part of me (the part which sheds tears over the sight of college towels) that seems to lack a certain resiliency. It annoys me actually. Some people are just so darn strong. As a matter of fact, there are these people I know who seem to bear an incredible resiliency. They actually are knocking my socks off during this crazy pandemic. These people happen to be our kids. I have no doubt they inherited this from their father.

Zenlike Alex

Our smart, recent college-grad daughter was laid off her job – like many others. And despite her hypochondria-tic tendencies, she seems amazingly calm about the situation. (She does live in Denver, where calm seems to be the prevalent mood – must be the mountain air, ahem.) Anyway she's running with Bruce-dog, sporting only a few injuries from the puppy's ADD issues. She's cooking healthy and creative meals with her chef roomie. (He's a real chef.)  She's writing and sending pitches. She's making music and posting covers. She's thinking deeply about her future. And here's the cool thing: she's talking to her mother more than ever, meaning, she's actually answering my calls. It's usually quite nice... until I start down anxiety road and become crazy mom, trying to convince her to do things like go back to school. My wish. Not hers. Alex has always had a strong vision for her life, and this environment is only making her more focused on her dreams. Her dreams. She's a clever girl, and luckily, she's patient with me as I navigate parenting an adult, trying my best to back off. (She is still answering my calls, Thanks God. Who else can I talk to about Mrs. Maisel? Not the boys in my house!)

Power Up, Cole.

Cole, on the other hand, has had his senior year and final soccer season ripped away from him – like many others have. And while we all know and understand why, it doesn't take away that pit in your stomach when you see the game on the calendar that was supposed to be played, or the grad party that was supposed to be celebrated. But I don't see Cole moping or wallowing. A little sad, yes. But for the most part he's optimistic. He's seems pacified that the grad parties will be delayed, and that he'll perhaps get to play with his soccer team at the Iowa Games this summer. In the meantime, when he's not doing homework online, he's working on projects! He's begun to explore the old house with his buddies (presumably with social distancing tactics in place). And guess what they've found? Treasures for sure... like two GIANT dead raccoons in the old house and cave. It doesn't get much better than that. He's also become Chip Gaines – using same said buddies to convert a basement storage room into a "man cave." (Apparently, Cole needed different scenery than his bedroom which for all intents and purposes smells like man cave to me.) No matter, I was pleasantly surprised by his domestic ambitions. Previously, this storage space was chock full – you couldn't actually walk through it without climbing over mounds of carpet, dead bugs, and painting supplies. Now it's spic and span, hosting the foosball table, a TV and a gaming system. I was like, "Cole! Where did you put everything?" He was like, "That's just the thing, Mom! We reorganized everything and put it all under the stairs." I was duly impressed... until the next day when I went into the furnace room to find where much of the crap had gone. But it's okay. I'm glad he's keeping himself occupied. I'll have him tackle the furnace room next. And then the next room he shuffles the crap to. This should keep him busy, until college in the fall.

So, those tears I talked of earlier? Maybe they aren't really a sign of weakness. I think they were the realization that life goes on, perhaps with a new appreciation of things. Gifts given to your kids. Facetiming with your daughter. Filling a planter with your husband on a beautiful spring day. Having lunch with your parents. Going on a walk with your sister-in-law. Making Snapfish books with your son for that eventual grad party. Looking at the new baby cows. And, of course, as always, watching The Office.

Stay well, friends.

So much to explore. And appreciate.

An Unconventional Gratitude List

Someone asked me the other day if I was still blogging. Of course, I am! But the last several blogs have mostly been in my head. I had a beautiful essay on the beauty of harvest after riding in the combine with my husband one night. It was somewhat self-aggrandizing for someone who doesn't do much on the farm except sing in a combine. That post got cut. (I'm a tough editor.)

So, here I am, back to it. Tapping the keyboard on my day off – the best way to burn off those turkey day calories – thinking deeply about gratitude. I could bore you all with the standard litany of thankfulness: God, family, friends, dogs named Percy who are so adorable sleeping in front of a Christmas tree and not barking or pooping. But I'm not gonna do that. (Disclaimer: I do not believe God nor family to be boring. Insert sign of cross.)

I sent out a survey to the Kramfam, asking them to name something unconventional they are thankful for. It took some time before I received any response, so here are a few things I came up with in the meantime:

• Untangling lights. So frustrating. So satisfying. Once I've unraveled a strand, I always wonder if I shouldn't have become an engineer. I'm sure unraveling lights is similar to building bridges.
• Having in-depth "top-five" lists with my son. E.g., top five movies not a part of a franchise, top five movies within a franchise, best superheroes... you get it. Hubby and firstborn think these conversations are silly.
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. Indisputably, the best novel ever.
• Being an alum of a superior writing school school with sports programs that make any win seem like a national championship title. Black. Gold. Black. Gold.
• Being a child of the 80s when video killed the radio star. #Def_Leppard #I'llMissThoseJeans. (Shameless plug?)
• Day drinking on my days off. The recipe of choice:
  
          *1 shot of North 40 Vanilla Bean
          *1 Can of Fresca (or Diet Squirt)
          *1 Squeeze of Orange
  
  For best effect, mix and drink fast. Make another. And then another. Sponsored by Lonely Oak Distillery. 

Just in! The unconventional gratitudes from Alex, the eldest of our children:

• Salt. It makes gross shit taste great.
• Hands, and a sense of rhythm so I can play music.
• Bruce (the dog) because he's strange but beautiful.
• Not to be sleeping on a friend's couch anymore, to have a bed of my own.

She's profound and broke. And she did graduate from the best writing school in the world. 

After a little prodding, I finally heard from the boys in the family unit:

From Doug, the patriarch:

• Iowa Hawkeyes beating the Nebraska Huskers... and (in quieter voice) the ISU Cyclones.

That's it for the hubby. Well, there were other things I choose not to repeat.

From Cole, the youngest:

• Girls
• White Christmas lights.
• Snow

"Because all of them are pretty." 

Our son added that he hoped girls would read this and be impressed. He is 18 and doesn't realize that my audience doesn't include a whole lot of teenagers. As a matter of fact, my audience doesn't include a whole lot of anyone, really. But it doesn't matter! I'm happy to have a few moments to reflect, to write and make a few of you smile. Oh yeah! I just remembered another gratitude: Smiling! In the immortal words of Buddy the Elf, "I love smiling. It's my favorite!"

As we kick off this holiday season, I hope you all continue to think about those unique things we take for granted... like readers of inconsequential blogs. With that in mind, thank you. Seriously, thank you. I appreciate having a forum to tell a story or two. 

"We are all storytellers... there isn't a stronger connection between people than storytelling." 

-Jimmy Neil Smith

Running with Color

Last winter Alex and I decided we would run a 5k together after she graduated college. It was something to keep us motivated to work out. Admittedly, it was a psychological goal for me. When I turned 40, I began to talk myself down from exercising so much. "I'm getting too old to run! It's probably too hard on my joints!" Now, that I've just recently turned 50, I think differently. "I'm not too old to run! I better keep running while I still can!" So, it was on.

I registered us for the Omaha Color Run to be held the last weekend in July. The timing seemed perfect. Alex would need to be moved out of her apartment by then and was hopefully home for a few weeks before she began her real life with a job and all. And as it turned out, everything was unfolding just as planned.

Ready?

I was off work this last weekend in July. We moved Al home on Wednesday. It gave us a few days to do a little training together before our big weekend! I was excited. While I've been running (on and off) for nearly my entire adult life, I've never run in a race before. It's not something I had the confidence to do. My running friends are probably giggling at this, thinking "how cute... a 5k is hardly a race." And my family is probably thinking "when has she ever lacked confidence?" Well, I have my insecurities just like the rest of us. Especially when it comes to anything halfway athletic. Luckily, running takes very little hand-eye coordination. I've only wiped out a few times in my life.

Back to my Color Run story.

We were all set to go. The night before the run, our family went out to eat with my parents.  It was the perfect way to spend the night before a race: eating carbs and getting home early with mealtime beginning promptly at 6:30 PM.

When we got home, I glanced at the dining room table with a smile. Our gear was laid out: t-shirts, headbands, runner badges, tattoos... We'd need to arise early to get to DT Omaha before the 8:00 AM starting time. But I didn't care! I was ready to run!

Then I get a text from my friend Amy asking what we were doing tonight. I told her we had decided to turn in early because of the race. She asked where we were running since the Omaha Color Run had been that morning.

Wha????

Here's the thing about being on vacation: calendar days don't really mean much. When I received an email about the Color Run festivities beginning on Friday night (without paying attention to the actual date), I thought, "Wow! Some people make this an event for the whole weekend!"

I re-read Amy's text. She screenshot the information.

We had missed it.

My heart sank to my calloused feet. I was so bummed. My family laughed. I detected a hint of relief from Alex who wasn't thrilled to arise at the break of dawn. But I couldn't laugh. I didn't even care that I had wasted our registration fee. I just wanted to run in it.

So, we watched a dumb movie, and I tried not to pout – coaching myself that it really wasn't a big deal at all. I knew that it wasn't. But I was still kind of sad.

This morning I woke up at 7:30. The day I thought Alex and I would be getting sprayed by paint and laughing it up. I put the vision out of my head. Then I told my husband I was going to run a 5k. Today. Of course, he thought I was nuts, but he supported me anyway.

I put on my Color Run t-shirt. I applied my happy tattoos. (HAPP, actually. My Y didn't stick.) I pulled back my short hair with the cute tie-dyed headband. Doug dropped me off on the flattest highway around. And off I went.

Ready!

There was no party nor paint. The only music blaring was my playlist of 10,000 Maniacs and One Republic. It was actually... nice.

• Clouds created a shroud over the sun to prevent me from having heat stroke.
• I saw my first goldfinch of the summer.
• The leaves on the trees breezed about, as if to wave me on.
• I was hardly attacked by red-winged black birds.
• I saw my favorite purple wildflower. The color is so brilliant and neon-ish, it looks like a cartoon sketch.
• Two geese glided around the sky without shitting on me, and their companionship reminded me how lucky I am to have my spouse.
• I met the eyes of a beautiful, young deer who crossed my path, encouraging me to keep up my pace.

Finally, I approached our town with its grand steeple. I received that all important notification from my watch: 3 miles. I ran a little farther. Then I looked again: 3.12 miles. Just a fuzz past a 5k.
                                       I had crossed the finish line! 

Right on cue, my hubby pulled on to the corner of the Highway 191 in my support vehicle – with a water for me in tow. (Isn't he the best?) We rode back on the mule with the wind drying off my sweat as I showed Doug the awful pics I took on my jog. He asked if I was still disappointed about missing the event. I really wasn't. Adrenaline erases negativity. And I'm certain my scenery was more beautiful than DT Omaha. 

As it turned out, it was the best color run I ever missed.

Now that's color.

Look closely. A deer. A steeple.

The Spectrum of Anxiety: Prom to India

Cole's Junior Prom is over. Check that most over-celebrated high school event off the list for this year. Don't get me wrong. I love being involved with our kids' activities. And while co-chairing the after-prom party was kind of like having mud thrown in your face (in a good way), it really wasn't all that bad. Not that I'd ever do it again, Mrs. Heithoff. But I have to admit it. Helping to plan the after-prom party was nothing compared to the actual anxiety over my son's entire experience.

Prom Challenge #1: Would his tux be a skinny fit?
Prom Challenge #2: Would another date cancel right before the buzzer?
Prom Challenge #3: And finally, would his awful cold prevent him from getting through the night?

As it turned out...

kramer.cole kramer.

• Cole's tux fit like a glove. More specifically, it had a James Bond appeal without the pistol.
• His date did not cancel, and she was beyond lovely. He had a great time despite the fact that her boyfriend was actually at prom as well. (Long story.) 
• And his nasty cold turned out to be a bit of a blessing! To his parents, anyway. He got through casino night (under our watchful eye). And by 2:00 AM, he was too sick to attend any after-after prom party. Poor kid. (Whew! Thank God.)

worth the hassles.

Now on to other worries. There's this one that's been niggling at me. Especially when I pushed the banality of prom drama aside.

A few weeks ago, Alex casually mentioned she might be taking a trip to India. Just for a few weeks to help her friend with a journalism project.

Say what?

India! No, Alex! Haven't you read what happens to women over there?

Well, yes. She does read. Journalists read.

I get that she's an adult now, despite what our tax returns might say. So, we can't really forbid her from going on this so-called Pulitzer grant project. But certainly, she'll listen to us. I've been trying to formulate a coherent argument. It goes something like this:

"No, Alex. You can't go. We won't let you. Just because you want to experience a new world and write an in-depth article about social injustice in a remote part of an undeveloped country doesn't mean you should...Heck, why don't you join the Marines or the Peace Corp while you're at it?"

This is where I get stuck.

Is it wrong to discourage a child from pursuing a noble cause in favor of eliminating a parent's anxiety? Is it all that different from discouraging your kid to attend an after-after prom party to keep from getting sicker? Okay. Maybe it's a little different.

When Alex was a junior in high school, she saved her money and convinced us to let her go to Amsterdam. It was an amazing, enlightening experience for her while I suffered painstaking heartburn for the entire two weeks. Despite the pain in my chest, my mother's voice would ring in my head. "You raise kids to be independent." I believe that, in theory. I just can't quite let my heart

See that map on her wall?

embrace it.

But I will. It's the right thing to do. If she decides to go, I'll load up on Tums and ensure my fervent prayers reach across the world. And perhaps I'll preoccupy myself by helping Cole to figure out a date for homecoming next fall.

Only the Lonely

I recently read an article by Dave Barry who recently made a life altering decision: to emulate his dog. Not so much to do things like drink toilet water, but to fearlessly connect with others as our canine friends so easily do. I gave the article specifically to my husband and my father. They share a common quality with Dave Barry: they're all a bit skeptical of people. Now that my dad is retired, he spends much of his time with his motorcycles and dogs. And my husband, as a farmer, spends much of his time with his tractors and cows. I worry about the amount of time they spend alone.

I also worry about my daughter. She's fiercely independent and lives three hours away, often strapped to her studies and work. I keep asking her if she's getting enough hugs – of the maternal type. She assures me she's fine, especially after visits to the pet store to hold puppies.

It just occurred to me that I never worry about my son being lonely. I actually worry more about his overactive social life. But that's a story for another blog.

It can be difficult to reach out – especially for the introverted. I worry so much about loneliness. Not for me. (Or Cole.) I'm rarely lonely, even when I'm alone. (This, could be a result of my only-childness, having spent much of my youth reading Nancy Drew, writing screenplays suspiciously similar to Grease, and playing games like Monopoly by myself.) But I obviously worry about it for others – even beyond my family. Whenever I see someone at a restaurant eating by themselves, my heart breaks a little. I say a prayer and do my best to catch their eyes just to say hello. It's probably not enough.

During our last book club, we discussed a novel called The Story of Arthur Truluv by Elizabeth Berg about an unlikely friendship between a teenage girl, a widower, and a spinster-ish teacher. It was a joy to read as these three lonely souls found each other. But what has been lingering with me in regard to this book isn't anything about the story itself. It's a comment made by one of my book club friends. "I really get this. It's like how Sundays get so long for me."

Growing up, I watched my mother talk to just about anyone in her path. Sometimes, I'd get annoyed by this. I didn't want to stand there listening to stupid adult stuff. Sometimes I'd even be embarrassed when she'd realize she wasn't talking to who she thought she was. ("Why do you keep calling me Bob?" We still get a good laugh over that.) But now I have a great respect for this ability to connect. Mom opened a shop as a retirement gig. And countless people tell me how they love stopping in to visit with her. I even catch Dad in there! Who knew he liked to visit with my mother!

I think there's lots of remedies for loneliness. Dogs and cattle are an obvious solution. But there's another one that doesn't involve animals. Heed the advice of AT&T's 80's slogan: "Reach Out and Touch Someone." Not literally obviously. But say hi to the lady next to you in the produce section. Tell her how good the mangos are. Take your book club friends to lunch. Hug your daughter every day when she's home on break even if it annoys the crap out of her. Or simply smile and say hi to the elderly gentlemen eating pizza by himself at the next table. As Mother Teresa said, "The most terrible poverty is loneliness and the feeling of being unloved."

Loneliness is a terrible poverty. But the good news? It can be cured without spending a single penny. Especially if you happen befriend a dog running the ditches. That's worked for us quite well.

Percy, former ditch runner.

Promise of a New Year

2019!

This year I will wrap up another decade of my life. Fifty certainly seems old on paper. But my middle-aged dreams and goals feel as fresh as the dreams of my twenty-year-old self. I traveled back to my junior year in college to compare my thoughts. The similarities are uncanny.

1990 Stef: Celebrate 21 with a bang. In Iowa City! A party! Bar crawl! College pals! 21 42 pitchers of beer. (Laura turning 21 too. Yay!).
2019 Stef: Celebrate 50. Maybe.

1990 Stef: Figure out a summer job.
2019 Stef: Figure out a summer job... for Cole.

1990 Stef: Find a cute bikini AND wear as much as possible at the beach.
2019 Stef: Find a swimsuit that doesn't look ridiculous. Wear only on vacation in a location far, far away from here.

1990: Find true love.
2019: Celebrate 25 years of true love.

1990 Stef: Get tan as quickly as possible. Begin in May no matter how chilly.
2019 Stef: Avoid skin cancer. Wear pants.

1990 Stef: Lose five pounds.
2019 Stef: Lose five pounds.

1990 Stef: Scrounge up some money for beer and cookies.
2019 Stef: Limit beer. Limit cookies. Scrounge up some money for Spanx.

1990 Stef: Keep the rock star dream alive.
2019 Stef: Sing loud in car.

1990 Stef: Figure out a prestigious career! Add a major? 
2019 Stef: Get out of my basement office once in a while.

1990 Stef: Be the best person you can be! Study! Exercise! Eat healthy!
2019 Stef: Be a good person. Make a difference in others' lives.

I have always loved the hope that comes with a New Year. While my observations are somewhat facetious and somewhat sincere, there's one thing that never has changed – my desire to become a better person.

My 2019 resolutions are simple, but great: to love with all of my heart and find joy every day. I'm sure I would not have professed anything like that as a twenty-year-old. My 1990 New Year's Resolution was probably something like "Get a new hairstyle! Bigger bangs!" And that's okay. My compass has changed. Thank God. But there's a big part of me that hasn't changed: my hopeful spirit, still burning bright as ever. 

Wishing you all have a wonderful and peaceful 2019!

1990: Fun and Friends.

2019: Fun and Family.

Our Colorado Adventure, Part IV

It was our last full day in Colorado. After becoming recharged by nature and awestruck by the mountains, we opted for some good old-fashioned commercialism. We spent the day on the 16th Street Mall in Denver – an outdoor conglomeration of your standard franchise stores peppered with organic eateries and unique breweries. And it had a piano in the middle of the street.

We started off by catching a healthy and delicious lunch at the Modern Market Farm Fresh Eatery. There would be no McDonald's clogging our arteries that day! Then the boys were lured into an athletic store. Doug and I decided to take Alex to an H&M a few blocks away. As we strolled down the brick street, Doug grabbed a hold of us and pointed to something just ahead of us. Something horrifying. A man wearing a giant, yellow python around his neck. A live one. A real one. It was scariest moment of the vacation. Ziplining was nothing compared to the blood that rushed from my face as I imagined the snake getting loose and wrapping itself around one of us. I closed my eyes and waited for crazy man and snake to drift away. Apparently, Cole's shoe fetish kicked in at just the right time. If he would've seen it, the six foot kid would've crawled up his daddy's back.

Before we reached the H&M, we came across an outdoor Mexican restaurant with several TVs tuned into the World Cup. Croatia versus England. One of the final matches. There were lots of soccer fans, and, most importantly, there was beer. As we bonded with our new soccer friends, all peeled to the intense game, I texted the boys to come quick. "We found a great place to watch soccer." The boys, after all, are all about soccer, playing the sport all year around high school and club. They would certainly be excited to sit down and watch the World Cup. So, they came. And being the soccer aficionados they are, they stayed for about two minutes before setting off to find a Game Stop.

After we toasted Croatia for their stunning win, Doug urged us to get on with our shopping. (I think it was Doug, anyway.) And soon we found H&M. I couldn't help but feel proud as Alex opted for blazers and dress pants to jumpstart her career wardrobe. The days of Hot Topic seem to finally be over! Adulting is setting in. Of course, we did swing by a Sally's to pick up blue hair dye. I guess she does have one year left of college to be cool.

It's not all healthy in Denver.

After her splurge, we met the boys at a Hard Rock so they could grab a snack since it had probably been two hours since they ate that healthy crap. As I was thinking about Alex and her smart shopping choices, Cole also gave me reason to be proud. While his buddy, Michael, has purchased a fancy new pair of athletic slides for the low price of $50, Cole bragged how he had refrained from getting shoes or an NBA jersey that he had really wanted. But I did notice a small Gamestop bag in his possession.

"So, did you get anything today?" I said.

"Just a game," he said. "Lego Star Wars III."

I guess the cost of video games doesn't count. It'll be a while until Cole starts adulting.

As we headed back to the condo, I noticed we had all fallen into that cone of silence that happens when everyone has spent lots of time together. I managed to capture a video with some stellar singing. But I could tell everyone was getting just a little tired. The vacation was on the downhill side. But we'd have one more really cool experience. And it was a culinary splurge.

Next post: Find out if we ordered that cow tongue with the bone marrow.