Celebrating the #Fam

Last weekend we celebrated two events in our family: 22 years of wedded bliss and 15 years of raising our bouncing baby boy. Our anniversary and Cole's birthday happen to fall on the same day: August 27th. When I tell people this, I often get a look of sympathy. Some say, "Oh! That's too bad." As if we are sad or shortchanged by the overshadowing of a kid's birthday. But here's the deal: We scheduled Cole's birth to be on our anniversary. Yes we did.

Doug and I had always planned to have kids–almost from the day we met! (Maybe that was just me...) But when it didn't happen so easily, we began to recognize what a gift children would be for us. When we did finally get pregnant and squeak out a couple of babies, we were utterly and fantastically grateful. It wouldn't have mattered what day they came. My birthday! Christmas! Yom Kippur! Groundhog's Day! You wouldn't hear any complaining from us.

A family celebration is a family celebration, no matter what the reason or the date. I will use any excuse to commemorate the love and closeness of our family, even when not everyone can be together. Case in point: my college daughter sent the most awesome of texts on our family group message this weekend despite her inability to depart from Iowa City:

Say what you will about technology, but not much makes my heart happier when our core family banters on the Kramer vs Kramer vs Kramer vs Kramer messaging. We'll find anything to connect about: the defeat of the Red Sox, a puking spell, the intersection of a birthday/anniversary, or the best thing of all–poses of a weird cat.

Sentimental Summer

I've sure shed a lot of tears this summer...between the passing of my grandma and my dog, I can't seem to go a day without a dry eye. It's certainly made me reflective. Doug keeps asking me what I'm thinking about. Well. My grandma. My dog. My aunts. My cousins. My grandma. I put the quilt she made us for our wedding on the bed today.It doesn't at all fit, but I don't care. Of course, that made me me bawl like a baby. I pulled out the snapfish photos we received this week...great pictures of the dog. And my grandma. And my grandma with a dog...Niagara Falls down the cheeks...then I came across this photo on my nightstand as I was dusting and a big smile overtook my tears. My dad and my aunt Sandy. Look at that little fellow's spherical head! Look at Charlie Brown. And weren't my aunt's curls just so, so adorable? Of course, it made me a little teary. But in a good way.

Actually, the tears have been good. I love my family and have missed them more than I realize. It seems that I can finally rationalize a use for Facebook now that most of my family is on it. We can practically have a virtual family reunion. If only it reached out to the spiritual world...Grandma Shirley would be right there with us. :)

On Turning 40, Part II

So, after writing my last post on turning 40, I interviewed my hubby on the topic. I asked him to list what he DIDN'T like about being 40. At first, he seemed perplexed - as if thoughts on turning forty had never even occurred to him! Finally, I pulled a few things out of him.

Things a Guy Doesn't Like About 40:

1) Body hurts all of the time. (Comment: You should see what he still does to himself...he's too old to slam balls into the biddy-ball length basketball hoop.)
2) Inability to drink as much beer as he used to. (Comment: This is a good thing.)

After naming those two items, Doug paused and said, "Hmmm. I seem to be drawing a blank." Then he came up with another-

3) Forgetfulness.

Then he really couldn't think of anything else and wanted to hear mine. So, after mentioning my list of my appearance deficiencies , another occurred to him --

4) "Oh, yeah, thinning hair!" (Comment: It doesn't bother him so much to use the Nioxin I bought him. You gotta love a guy's lackadaisical perspective on looking good.)

And that was it for the tough-side of 40. Now, what he likes about our age:

1) He's still not 50.
2) Being able to afford things.
3) Watching the kids grow up.

There you have it. So simple. So poignant. Sometimes it takes a list to remind us what's really important.
Here's Doug, spending quality time with the kids at the top of the Willis Tower, aka the Sear's Tower.

My Monkey Man!

The other night we researched our Chinese Zodiac signs. I’m a rooster...apparently I’m confident, motivated and (I really hate to say this) pompous, I guess. Doug is a monkey...curious, mischievous and clever. I knew this, of course. But guess which animals are compatible with monkeys? Rats and dragons. Not roosters. At least it explains why Doug was attacked by a rooster when he was a toddler. No kidding -- he even has the scar.

Who wants to be a perfect match anyway?

I make him read. He makes me relax.
He makes me watch baseball. I make him watch What Not to Wear.
I make him eat vegetables. He makes me eat meat.
He disciplines the kids. I give them hugs.
I discipline the kids. He disciplines the kids even more. (Just kidding...he’s a hugger too.)
I like to spend money. He likes to sav....no that's wrong. He likes to spend money too.
He farts. I never fart, ever.

While we don’t exactly match up in terms of Chinese signs, at least we are both of the “earth” element. I’m sure it’s what keeps us together. Besides who would have known that a rooster and a monkey could create an ox (Alex) and a snake (Cole).

I’ll end with this quote that has nothing to do with the blog, really.

“You don’t have to be anti-man to be pro-woman.” Jane Galvin Lewis

The Good Daughter-in-Law

Chaulk another one up for Lois.

Friday: I'm at Track and Field day for our Catholic Elementary School, visiting with my friend, who yells over to my sister-in-law, "So, what time did you have to get up this morning to fertilize Mary Ann's yard?" (Mary Ann is my mother-in-law.)
My sister-in-law, Lois, is diligently volunteering her time today -- now helping at the soccer kick contest we are watching.

Thoughts swarm through my head. (Neither Cole or Alex is kicking right now anyway.) Lois woke up early to weed and feed Mary Ann's yard? How am I supposed to compete with that? Suddenly, my early rising to perform yoga at 5:15 seems completely selfish.

My husband has one brother and three sisters. Thus I'm one of two daughter-in-laws. Now, I'm truly not a very competitive person. So, don't think this is some sort of contest. And I really, really like Lois. We share a great deal in common and she's genuinely sweet. But I happen to have a great need to be liked. And it's been difficult to gauge the likeability factor in the great stoical family of the Kramer's. Especially when you feel you are being compared to a daughter-in-law who

1) Creates and delivers extrordinary meals to all of the men working in the field. My husband usually instructs me to "just pick up pizza from Pizza Hut".

2) Makes desserts that consistently sell out when we're assigned to work our Wednesday night the parish's Bingo. My special box recipe of Oreo Surprise never comes close to selling out. I usually push the leftovers on my husband and kids. (My mother-in-law has offered to make my dessert several times, but I hate to impose.)

3) Mows and trims her entire yard (is it two acres wide?), while managing to create large beautiful flower beds throughout their farm. And I guess she's doing a little extra landscaping at the in-laws as well. But in my defense -- supposedly the good "topsoil" was scraped away when we built our house. I'm sure that's why my flowers all die even though the grass grows.

4) Successfully hauls her three busy sons to their games and practices while ensuring they all succeed academically as well. I think I can at least match her on this, except I only have two kids.

5) Manages to attend her niece's and nephew's events in addition to her own. This one amazes me. Who could fit in an additional game or recital if their own child isn't there? I've had a few good intentions, but they rarely pan out.

(Sidenote, in case you're wondering, her house is always clean as well.)

But I'm inspired to be a better daughter-in-law.

Saturday: I call Mary Ann to see if she wants to attend Alex's soccer game. It's her last of the season and it's supposed to be nice outside. She hesitates only a moment, then acquieses. Aha! See? I am a good daughter-in-law!

The rest of the story... The games starts thirty minutes late. It's bright, sunny and really quite warm. Mary Ann forgets her sunglasses. My oversized diva sunglasses won't fit over her glasses. She doesn't accept my stupid-looking hat. The wind begins to blow at an uncomfortable level. The game begins. The other team chooses to do fifteen minute quarters with at least twenty minute breaks in between. The game seems to never end today. Finally, we triumph ten to two with Alex "almost" making two goals. Mary Ann doesn't know much about soccer, but is gracious despite the conditions. At least I'll be able to treat her to a nice lunch for her suffering!

Doug calls. The planter's broken down and he needs me to run his tools to him immediately. Since we're twenty minutes away, I must speed home. Sorry Mary Ann -- no lunch for you today. But thanks for spending the morning with us!

So much for my quest to become like Lois. Oh, well, there's always another dessert to try at Bingo. Has anyone ever tried the Turtle version of the Oreo box recipe?