#dadconversation with mr. cellophane

For anyone who knows my husband and me, it will come as no surprise that I introduced myself first. As a matter of fact, when I mosied over to the cute guy standing against the wall in the bar and asked, "Do I know you?", he quickly replied. "I don't think so. And I'm divorced."

I couldn't help but giggle at the sweet and shy response. I knew right then I was in love. Beyond the cuteness factor, I was startling drawn to his unassuming manner. Doug very much condones the mentality of "blending in and not making a fuss." If something is wrong with his restaurant order, I'm the first to flag down the waitress as he holds my arm down to say, "That's okay. It's fine." This attribute of not wanting to draw attention to himself and can be amusingly problematic. There's a standing joke with our friends how he's always the guy who gets forgotten. When drinks come back for everyone except Doug, we will look at each other, and mouth the lyrics to "Mr Cellophane." (Yes, my husband has been to a Broadway musical.)

In the spirit of the mom conversation series, I decided to mix it up to honor my soulmate who celebrates his birthday this weekend. It wasn't easy attaining this interview, but I somehow I did it. Hope you enjoy.

Quick Bio: I've lived in Earling all my life. Currently I farm and am married to a beautiful and talented wife (Stef) with the most amazing kids (Alex and Cole).

Note: Doug didn't actually say this. He actually said, "You know my life." I embellished his response.

Favorite Family Tradition: I don't know Honey. You mean our family? Like the four of us? Let me think about it.

Most surprising lesson you've learned about being a father?  (Laughter.) Why are you asking me this? Okay. Let's see. I think it's how much smarter the kids are than me.

Note: Alex piped in here to explain how she and Cole actually pay attention in school. Brownie points kid.

Opinion on Work/Life Balance:

Note: Here Doug scrunches his eyebrows and asks, "Why are you doing this with me? Isn't this supposed to be a mom thing? After some wifely persistence, he talks.

I do my work first. If there's something going on, I do that, then I do my work. That's all there is to it.

Note: This is the most succinct response I've received on this question...

Guilty Pleasure: Drinking beer, probably.

Note: Not probably. Definitely.

Go to Movie: Any of the Bourne's. Not porns, Bournes.

Most used App: Grower's Edge.

Note: This is an app to check the grain markets. There is no doubt Doug checks this app, almost incessantly on certain days, as most farmers do. I would also argue that the Solitaire app is a close second. 

Celebrity Obsession: Milas Kunas.

Note: There was no hesitation here. Not one millisecond. 

How you recharge: Drinking beer and spending quality time with my wife.

Note: "Quality time with my wife" was not what Doug said. I rephrased this. It's a PG-13 blog, as noted in other blogs.

Last book you read and couldn't quit thinking about: (Laugher, again, as if the question were impossible before he realized he's not all Mr. Baseball and does read occasionally.) Oh! One of the Dan Brown's.

Note: Author of the The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons and Inferno. My hubby likes a smart thriller.

Favorite Kid Story: Taking the kids on rides. The photos of my scared family always makes me laugh. Also, teaching the kids to drive.

What advice do you have for new parents?  Don't do it. Kidding.  I actually don't think I'm in any position to give advice. I don't consider myself an expert at parenting.

Note: Who does? But I found the honesty of this response refreshing.

Anything else you'd like to add about being a working dad? Working dad? What do you mean? Don't all dads work?

Note: Yes. True. And so do all moms. Why do we even bother with these redundant terms?

I finished the interview with Doug squeamish about the idea of being featured. Again, he's not one for attention. So, before this can be edited by my unassuming mate, I'll end with this message to him:

Doug, you're my favorite guy. A guy's guy with a nose for sports and beer. A guy who laughs easily. A guy who is unmistakably honest. A guy who loves his family above all. That's the best thing about you. That and your cute butt.

If this embarrassed you, I'm sorry but not really. Love ya to pieces, Mr. cellophane.

A Man's Man

I love my hubby. He's a real man's man. He likes meat, sports, beer, blood-n-guts movies, girls in bikinis, motorcycles, gadgets, and any war segment on the History Channel.

Guided by a strong sense of right and wrong, he greatly amuses his girly-girl wife. For example, today. On our way home from a biddy ball game (another blog in itself), Doug receives a call from an old high school buddy who wants to see if a few of the guys can get together tonight. Being the thoughtful person he is, he invited the guys to come over to our house and drink some beer. Good idea, Honey. We built an open floor plan in our cozy 1700 square foot house, which allows voices, especially drinking voices, to carry throughout. Doug's theory: I would prefer to have his drinking buddies at our house, so I could be closer to him.

"Hon, are you sure they just want to sit around our house? Wouldn't you rather all go to the bar?" I ask sincerely.

He's pauses, sensing a trap. "Well, probably. But would you be mad?"

"No,that's okay. You go have fun." My martyrdom will easily grant me a trip to the theatre to view a romantic comedy.

He seems a bit relieved, then asks, "What's my curfew?"

I ponder a bit. "Not sure. How about I call you if you're not home at a reasonable time?"

(Deep down, I know this won't work. Do you know there are no bars in this area with any cell phone reception? NONE! But I'm trying to instill in him the sense to come home at a decent time so I can sleep peacefully.)

The conversation becomes interrupted as soon as his remote discovers the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Then two of the Jims show up to have a few beers, before they all leave...to have a few beers.

Here's the amusing part of the bit...as Jim, Jim and Doug are sitting around chatting and drinking, he's promoting my book to his buddies. Rubigunda. The book which revolves around the theme of motherhood and girl connections. It's sweet and makes me smile. That's my man's man.

But never fear...now their conversation has moved on to snipers and high-powered rifles.

And Peace Be With You!

Let me preface this posting by saying I have a very happy marriage. There is no doubt that fate brought us together. (See our picture?)With that being said...

I'm annoying the hell out of my husband this weekend. It's really out of the best intentions. You see, I just read the Seven Spiritual Laws to Success by the guru Deepak Chopra (yes the one Mike Myer parodies in his new movie), and I have found this new inner peace! So, I'm trying transfer some of my enlightenment on to Doug. But it just seems to be pissing him off.

He was given some upsetting news yesterday. It's not health-related, but without going into a lot of detail, he is understandly upset by something involving his farming operation. So, with my newly-found state of calm, I've been trying to help him.

"Let it go, Hon. It doesn't matter in the scheme of things."

"Easy for you to say. What about all of those years I spent working on this."

Hmm. "Maybe there's a reason. You know the law of Kharma... And eventally what you sow is what you'll reap."

He gives me a look like "obviously you don't understand".

Later enroute to a ball game, I actually get my Deepak Chopra book and start reading a few passages. Perhaps if I read the words verbatim, it will be more effective.

Again, no reaction. He turns up the radio.

So, as the day goes by, and I feel negativity consume his essence, I try a few more tactics.

I gently grab his arm, "Hey, it 's okay. It's just a softball game."

He turns to talk to someone else.

Then I try getting a little more in his face. "You're kind of a 'glass is half-empty' guy today, aren't you?"

He looks at me like, "no shit".

So, here I am on Sunday morning trying to brainstorm ways to make Doug happy while he sleeps.

Duh.

What makes every male happy? I better go back to bed. :)