Recipe for Peace Negotiations

I'm an only child. So it's been interesting for me to watch the interplay between Alex and Cole. For the most part, they get along well. But it's starting to become a long summer between an 11-year old girl and a 6-year old boy. Alex has had to hear an awful lot about superheros (especially a fearful fascination of The Joker, which will come up in another blog) and Cole has had to endure much about clothes and decor for a new bedroom. Commonly-heard comments in the house right now?

"Cole! Quit! Oh, my gosh! You are so full of yourself." Along with the standard roll of the eyes. or

"Alex! You always do that! Quit chewing your food so loud." With a gruff slide to the next chair.

The other day the argument was getting heated. Tears were starting to roll. I remembered this trick my friend Amy taught me.

"Kids!Come here."

They astutely came into the living room.

"Now, face each other and hug. You can't quit until I say so." (I think Amy uses the hand-holding method which works well too.)

They groan. But they oblige me. Within seconds they are laughing. It works everytime!

Last night a water fight turned ugly, as I predicted it would. (Cole overstepped his boundaries when he drenched Alex wearing a favorite vest. Never mind that she drenched him first.)They ran in the house bickering. I stopped the chatter in a second with my "Stop! Enough! You knew that was going to happen!" Then I walked into the living room and pulled up the laptop to show the kids something funny I had seen on the Internet. They needed a laugh to break up the tension. So, I called them in.

They walked in with their heads down. Cole spoke, "We already did it."

"Did what?"

"We hugged."

Now, isn't that sweet? I wonder what would happen if we made a few world leaders hug?

Thrill Seeking

You know how everyone always says, "Kids these days! You can't get them out of the house. When I was a kid, you couldn't keep me in the house." I hear this phrase most often from my husband. Well, the truth is, I must have been one of the pioneers of 'staying in the house'. As a matter of fact, Mom told me that I would only go outside if she went with me.

When it comes to thrill-seeking, or searching for adventure, Doug and I are complete opposites. This polarity has been blatently apparent in the past few days.

Doug loves roller coasters. I will tolerate, because I'm trying to be supportive of his interests like good companions do. Neither of our kids seek out the roller coasters at amusement parks, but like all good kids, they like to make their parents happy. Last Wednesday our family visited Adventureland. We all faithfully accompanied Doug on the Tornado. Cole and I backed out of the Outlaw. We all refused the Dragon. He was disappointed, as I defended my stance that not everyone is cut out for heart-stopping, brain-shaking thrills. I find pleasure in looking at a simple flower or watching the penguins play. Zoos and botanicals gardens bore him to death. Want to get a sincere smile out of Doug? Check out those pictures from the roller coaster rides -- when his hands are in the air as he's sailing down a ridiculously steep rail.

Now, I realize that I worry beyond reason. Run through the sprinkler? Only if Dad or I are watching! And don't run too fast!! Play with sparklers? Only if I follow you around closely, after your Dad has lit the spark while you stand ten feet away. (Okay, this didn't really happen, but that's how my mind thinks.)

Today, Alex ran inside and told me she was going to drive the 4-wheeler back to the farm to pick up her dad. Of course, this was upon Doug's instructions. "Are you sure you don't want me to go instead?" She considered it a moment. She's so much like me. But then replied, "No, Dad says I can do it." I held my breath and said a little prayer until I heard the sound of the 4-wheeler returning.

So, I guess I'm making progress as an insufferable worry-wart. The pictures above indicate that I merely 'photographed' the kids with the sparklers. I wasn't following them around for their own protection. Really.

Breakthrough For the Finicky Eaters!

It’s a breakthrough discovery in the Kramer household! Do you have a child who wants nothing but hamburgers and pizza? Let me tell you about a technique called “melted butter”.

Years ago, I stopped asking my family what they wanted for dinner. Now I just start preparing. If they ask what I’m making, I simply respond, “something wonderful, like always”. Their response? Only apprehensive expressions.

A few nights ago, I grilled catfish fillets, steamed cheesy cauliflower and made rice. The meal was quite…yellowish. The plate didn’t look near as French as I intended.

“Mom? What do we dip it in?”

“Dip? Um. Well. Hey! How about some butter?”

I melted butter and gave everyone a dish of their own for dipping. The results?

“Mom! This is awesome! Can we have fish every night?”

Of course, everything on the plate (except the rice) was being fully-immersed in the melted butter. Cole held his food in the butter for at least ten seconds. But who cares? Voila! I finally hit a homerun on the meal front. And such a simple solution – melted butter!

So, when Cole complained about the tator-tot casserole I’m making tonight, I simply responded. “You can dip it in butter!” He shrugged and said, “OK!”

But one bite into that cheesy, tator totty, hamburgy dish, I don’t think he’ll even remember the melted butter condiment! I’ll let you know how it turns out.

Taking Alex to the Movies

I'm excited. Alex seems to like me again. She has always loved me, but something has changed within the last couple of weeks. Like, she's asking me, like, what should she wear with this shirt, or like, what shoes go best with this outfit. AND, the other day she even asked, like, what my favorite movie was when I was a kid. (I'm a female born in 1969, so obviously my favorite was Grease.)

Anyway, just as I thought we had made it through those rocky, independent years between the age of six and nine, she threw me a curve ball.

"Mom? Are you and Dad gonna, like, going to the same movie as Lexi and me?"

"What? Of course!"

She sighs. "Like, Drillbit Taylor is showing in the other theater though With Owen Wilson."

"So. Nim's Island looks good to me!"

Another sigh.

Sensing my daughter's discontent with my response, I accomodate her. "I tell you what. Dad and I won't sit by you and Lex."

She accepts the terms.

As soon as she and Lexi receive their concessions, and before we receive ours, they shoot off into the theatre to secure prime 2nd row seats among their other friends. I spy an opening in the third row, directly behind her! Perfect.

"Ugh! Oh, Mom. You are,like, so lame." She didn't quite get the joke, I guess. So, I am sent back to my husband who looks quite comfortable in the assigned parents' section. "We're getting old, Hon."

"Yep," he states happily devouring the buttered popcorn.

But I'm a bit saddened. Watching the kids' expressions was as much fun as watching the movie. Well, at least I shouldn't miss any lines in the movie. Or have to take a potty break. Maybe.

But guess what? I can still hear her cute little laugh. Even from the parents' section. It makes me happy. No matter how old she is, her laugh makes me happy.

Keeping our Teeth. Losing my Mind?

Two cavities? But my oldest never had any, and she didn't brush her teeth either!

All kids are different, my dentist told me. Don't blame yourself. So, it's okay that we don't always get a brushing in our hectic mornings? Or exhausting evenings? Flossing is really out of the question.

Anyway, I had it all set up to take my son to a pediatric dentist, in Omaha, which is an hour away from our residence. I rearranged my work schedule and my husband, being the supportive guy he is, even took the day off. Mom was picking up my daughter, from play practice, and shuttling her to dance, or one of her many extra-curricular activities.

We picked Cole up from school. Of course he was excited to get out of school, not fully understanding the implications of his scheduled dental appointment. And after missing a turn or two, because I thought I knew exactly where the building was, we made it to Dr. Dana's office.

Busy -- this place was swarming with kids! We made it to the reception desk, where a polite young lady asked if she could help us. "Oh, yes. My son, Cole Kramer has an appointment." Looking a bit confused, she said, "Really? I don't have him down." Smugly, I pulled out my letter which indicated the date and time of the appointment. She reviewed and apologetically said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Your appointment indicates next week." Next week? Isn't it really the 27th today? Can you please get us in? "Sorry, we are completely booked."

My husband sighed in disgust.

My son said under his breath, "She did it again."

"Again? Cole, when have I done this before?" "Last week, at the other dentist." Oh, yeah. I took off early to take the kids to their local dentist -- the one that was sending me here. Only to find out they were closed -- the appointment was the next day. Thanks God my mom's around. Not sure if I could take off early with "more children's dentists appointments" .

Maybe I need a personal assistnant. Or, maybe we should just start brushing our teeth.

Good Mommy, Bad Cook

Do you remember some of your mom's favorite dishes? I can think of a few. Do you know what my kids are going to remember? Those cherished moment when Dad said, "Should we go out to eat?".

When I'm considering taking a dish to take to a new mother or a grieving family, I ask my husband, "What should I bring? What's the best dish I make?", he's quiet a moment. Then he suggests I buy a Pizza Hut gift card.

Anyway, I discovered a great dish today. It's called a "Burnt Grilled Cheese". Really, it's pretty good. Here's what you do...

Take two pieces of your favorite kind of bread. I recommend sourdough or pumperknickle -- something without a bunch of high fructose corn syrup.

1. Heat a skillet -- spray cooking spray. Always spray cooking spray when you cook.
2. Instead of buttering the bread, spray it with cooking spray. (You might know this already -- it saves calories.
3. Place your favorite cheese in between the bread. (Unbuttered sides in.)
4. Place the sandwich on the grill.
5. Wait a few minutes until the bread is toasted on one side just as you like it. (This can be tricky with pumperknickle.)
6. Turn over, then leave the room and start doing something else. Laundry, Googling on the computer, help the kids with homework, anything really.)
7. When you begin to smell smoke throughout the house, run to the kitchen and turn off the stove.
8. Place your Grilled Cheese on a plate and let cool a few minutes.
9. Pull the good side of the sandwich off the burnt side and nibble on the edible parts.
10. Enjoy and think about all of the extra calories you saved.

Dream on, Kids!

Staring at my sleeping six-year old, I think to myself, “how beautiful this little creature is”. And then a completely disjointed thought occurs. Why didn’t I become an actress? Why didn’t I pursue journalism? Or become a critic?

He has dreams. Dreams of becoming Spiderman. Somedays it’s Batman. There’s even been talk of Ben-10, whoever that is. But Spiderman is typically the superhero of choice.

I can't really say that I dreamt of becoming a banker. A doctor, a rock star, an actress! (I even wrote to the Love Boat when I was ten! They graciously sent me a rejection in the form of a postcard.) Now, I’m the retail manager of a community bank in a small town --"Senior Vice President of Retail" Julie McCoy, eat your heart out.

I love my husband dearly. I love my two children dearly. My job is fine.

His eyes are slightly open. His lashes are so long. Not quite as long as his sister’s. He has the same white eyelash as his father. It’s in the center of their right eyes. I rarely have a chance to watch my daughter sleep anymore. Her head is usually buried in the pillow.

How do you encourage children to always follow their dreams? How do you make sure they don’t always take the "safe route" and forsake their passion?

My son loves his sister. She is annoyed by him, but takes care of him. I love it when she calls him “Buddy”. I still love her little-girl laugh. She’s ten now. Why does she seem so much older?

Mom encouraged me to try out for a play in college. I never did. In high school, I surprisingly was selected to play the female lead in “Flowers for Algernon”. But I had to kiss the male lead. I kissed him on the cheek. My drama coach was not happy with me. I would like to play the supporting actress in a movie. That dream has passed, I think.

I brush his hair back with my hands. It calmed him as a baby. Being a mom is the best. There’s much more to me than pricing CD rates, going over schedules and listening to complaints. I still dream too. Maybe of not being an actress, but I dream. Someday I will become a published author. Someday I'll make the bestseller list. Someday I'll be a guest on Oprah -- that would be the ultimate. Actually, I would love to be a guest...

Anyway, dream away little ones. Keep dreaming.