Yay for Sports!

Mom's love for the Iowa Hawkeyes is likely the reason I wanted to go to Iowa City. She was a fan! I was always impressed and amused how much my mother knew about sports when I was young. She was passionate about watching football and basketball –– of the collegiate variety. I was more of a "what's the score" type of gal as I walked to the kitchen to get a snack.

Fast forward to the present. As everyone does, I eventually became my mother. I'd like to say I became a true sports fan as a freshman in college when I went to my first football game. I did become a fan. A fan of tailgating. It was a rarity for me to make it through an entire game in my college years. I even had class with football and basketball players. They were pleasant and normal students, just like me. I certainly didn't feel starstruck. I certainly didn't feel a need to ask them about their upcoming games or talk to them about a great play they made. I was nothing like a certain middle-aged woman who met Caitlyn Clark in a bathroom in Iowa City last winter and didn't want to let her leave. (That woman was me.)

I know so much about sports now, it's almost ridiculous. Ask me what a Nickleback is. I'll tell you that it's not just a popular band from the 2000s. Let me explain to you the pick and roll. I can! So sure, my husband has tutored me on these things, but not only do I understand a few  positions and plays, I enjoy watching them! As long as the team we're watching is executing and winning. And by team, I mean the Hawkeyes.

Has there always been a sports fan within me? Lying dormant through my formative years?

My sister-in-law and I have discussed this phenomenon, because something similar happened to her at a certain point in her life. This phenomenon being a sudden and sincere interest in that world of sports in which our husbands have long been a part of.

Here's the sweet and simple explanation:

Kids.

Once you have kids, you become a cheerleader –– no matter if they love sports or dance or drumming or singing or drawing. When your kid enters a competition, you're all in. Your heart is a pitter-patter, and you want nothing more than for them to succeed. To win! And of course, you're heartbroken if they don't. Probably more heartbroken than they are. But it's a mother's job to cheer on her kids no matter what. I would argue it's a father's job as well. From my experience, however, a father prefers coaching over cheerleading. Whether cheering or coaching on your children, it all seems to come to a halt when they graduate high school. The calendar frees up. Laundry is done in, like, one evening. And you can only watch the same movies over and over again so many times.

So, what better way to fill that newly-drilled hole in your heart? Sports! Not only does it seem to give you purpose by cheering on a team that needs you, but it gives you a compelling reason to shop for fan gear. And if you're lucky? Your team will never graduate.

Go Sports!

The List that Keeps Giving

I'm on a stay-at-home vacation this week, so lists rule! There's nothing quite like the feeling of crossing something off your to-do list. My intention this week was to get some stuff done: organize, weed the flower beds, edit my novel! It's Thursday, so time to take inventory of my accomplishments:

1. Weeded flower beds. Pretty easy job in a drought.
2. Organized one junk drawer. The main junk drawer that is. Found four sharpies. Score!
3. Finished Season 4 of Stranger Things. Whew. Time-consuming. Emotionally draining. But completely awesome!
4. Started Season 4 of Modern Family. Laughing should always be on a to-do list.

So, the week is running out and here I am, blogging instead tackling the furnace room or a closet I had my sights on. Truthfully, my purpose in organizing those areas was to find our wedding video to get it transferred to digital before our thirtieth anniversary (next August). When Mom told me she has a copy, my drive to organize areas drifted a bit.

I truly do believe in the power of lists though. Anyone remember Phil Dunphy mentioning how his wife, Claire, can create to-do lists that last for days? I'm with Claire. The only problem is my hubby doesn't usually see the need to do these pesky household tasks unless it has a monetary value associated. "If it doesn't make us money, why do it?"  I should say that to him the next time he feels amorous.

I can be a bit sneaky in my approach in getting Doug to do something. Sometimes it's appealing to his need to be challenged. "Think you can mix me up a cocktail of weed killer?" He's on it.  Sometimes it's appealing to his sense of fun. "We should refresh the basement. Maybe add a bar." We conquered that in a few months. Sometimes it's appealing to his sense of adventure. "How many limestones do you think we can dig up in the cattle yard?" My Indiana Jones found so many we were able to recreate Stonehenge. And sometimes, if it's possible, I find a way to make it a smart financial decision. "Couldn't we write-off a new garage if you use it for agricultural purposes?" 

Our son figured out how to manipulate the list process at a young age. I usually left a list of chores for each of the kids in the summer. One day, when I was cleaning out a drawer, I found an old "list" notebook and came across something interesting – and just a bit off. It was the kids' lists with a few normal chores like filling the dishwasher, vacuuming and cleaning the toilets. But Alex had more on hers. And she had a special task in her column: Play video games with Cole. It even really resembled my handwriting. I'm not sure it worked, but I liked the thought behind it – integrating normal chores with the thing he really wanted done. And having Mom sign off on it.

I have just a few hours left of this stay-cation to get things done. (Tomorrow we leave for Iowa City to perform the critical job of cheering on our Hawks at the season opener.) So, there's still a furnace room and closet to conquer. But there's also a cat that needs petting. And it's almost lunchtime. And I wouldn't mind playing a little piano. And hey, when I return to work next week, I'll be armed to discuss my main accomplishment for the week: Finishing Stranger Things. Kidding. Sort of. Truly, and not kidding one bit, the best thing I did this week was spending time with my best friend: Doug. I'll never cross that task off the list.

A Little Place Called Napa

We went. We drank. And unfortunately, we left. But the experience was unforgettable – except for those times when we imbibed too much, of course.

Doug and I have never been huge wine drinkers. Blame youthful experiences with Mad Dog and Night Train. But some time ago, after watching Sideways, we became fascinated with the idea of visiting the California wine country. Since we like to take our kids on vacation, we decided to wait until they turned of age. They were seven and three when that movie came out, so we had a few years to wait.

Finally, the time had come! Four Seasons Travel gave us some amazing guidance and set us up on a Top Five trip. Doug, me, Alex, Cole and his sweet girlfriend Anna. The weather was perfect. The people were welcoming. The towns were quaint. The food was spectacular. The vineyards were bucolic. And the wine? Well, the wine was not Night Train to say the very least.

We all came with agendas to learn more about wine and in the process increase our sophistication index. (Alex and Anna didn't really need this, but the rest of us sure did.) Cole had other agendas though. As a matter of fact on the way to Napa, he let it slip that he couldn't leave California without eating and In-N-Out burger. Ironically, "in-n-out" was how Cole took his wine on our first full day of touring. Not that the wine wasn't perfection, but he couldn't bear to watch his sister let her portions go un-drank. It had always been an important lesson in the Kramer household, not to let anything go to waste. Especially alcohol. Luckily, Cole's unleashing of the Cabernet's on our first full day didn't slow him down the rest of the week.

A day trip to Calistoga provided quite a memorable experience for Doug and I. The kids shopped while we made appointments for a "Mudslinger" at Dr. Wilkenson's Backyard Resort and Mineral Springs. This treatment involves slipping into a large tub of warm, bubbling mud (think Shrek's jacuzzi). Completely naked. Mind you, I don't even like my husband to see me naked, so I can't deny I was a little self-conscious. But there was only the attendant, Doug and me. So, I got comfortable in a hurry. Amazingly comfortable. The mudbath was followed by a natural spring bath with special soothing salts. Our old bodies were as loose as a goose, if goose are indeed loose. After this little slice of heaven, we wrapped up in a towel and were directed to the sauna which was a staggering 300 degrees. I only managed to remain in there for about thirty seconds. Doug lasted longer. He had been training in 300 degree grain bins. Nonetheless, the spa was amazing. 

We did lots of great things. We joined a wine club, of course. We drove an hour north of Calistoga to visit a redwood forest that wasn't THE Redwood forest. But we snapped a few nice and weird photos there. We went on an e-biking tour to more vineyards. We drank delicious olive oil. We saw Barbie. We did more wine tastings. We ate In-N-Out burgers. I bought the book Sideways that I'm ashamed to admit I didn't know was a book before the movie. And on our last full day, we picnicked all afternoon in a picture-perfect winery eating charcuterie and blasting through five bottles of vino. As we chatted about the wonderful vacation, I admitted that I learned an important lesson that week. If we want the hubby to try new things, bring the girlfriend. While I can hardly bring up an idea without it being dismissed within the first five seconds, Anna's ideas were met with "Sure -– that sounds fun." (Thus the ebiking and Barbie outings.) 

I loved almost everything about Napa. And one of things that struck me most was the agricultural identity, like our community. Maybe not exactly like ours. Grapes are a little more charming than corn. Just a little. Nonetheless, the residents of wine country carries a great love for their land and what it produces. Now, that's something we Iowa folk can relate to.

Cheers! Salute! Prost!

The mythical Poseidon Winery!

Hello Neighbor

We live on a dead-end road, the only inhabited house on our stretch of 1800th Street. There's not much traffic this time of year. The postman. UPS. Fed Ex. An occasional farmer crop-checking. An occasional kid coming home to visit.  Needless to say, I've become quite accustomed to our privacy. Maybe a little too comfortable.

Almost every morning, I get up as soon as there's just a bit of sunlight to go for a jog or a walk. When I get back home, I love to soak up every bit of morning outside. The slight cool breeze. The chirping birds. The sunrise over Earling's steeple. So, with my ear buds on, I lay on our driveway and stretch and stare at the blue skies above. Sometimes I twist into some yoga moves to crack my back. Sometimes I grab my cat and set him on my stomach to give him love. Sometimes I pray. And sometimes, I get into the mood to do dead bug abdominal moves. You know the kind where your legs are raised and you tap your feet to the ground? It's also known as a dance move which can be a high point at a wedding, for guests who like to laugh at the weirdos laying in the middle of the floor.

Well, imagine my surprise when I sat up the other morning after some dead bugs to see Larry, one of our neighboring farmers, doing an early morning check of his crops. Hi Larry. Don't mind me. I'm just laying on the driveway. Like an idiot, dead-bugging it.

Last night I went out for a walk because it wasn't 105 degrees outside. I slipped on my ear buds to 10,000 Maniacs. (After a weekend of seeing college pals, I was in the mood for some alternative classics to relive my youth.) And there's just something about Natalie Merchant that makes me want to wail along and dance. So, on my walk, in which no one in the world would see me, I sang and danced to These Are The Days. It's a song you HAVE to sing and dance to.  I mean, Natalie sings about about shafts of light hitting your face! What can you do? So, I'm skipping along, swaying my hands when I hear the sound of Doug's ATV coming from behind. I turn around, hand on hip, trying to be cutesy for my hubby, still swaying to the song.

But it's not my hubby. It's Phil, another neighboring farmer, on his four-wheeler. He waves politely, as if I'm not a fruitcake.

So, here's my confession and apology to my neighbors. I am not crazy. I just forgot that we're not completely isolated here. So please, please don't send our freaky neighborhood turkey vultures my way.

You know what's funny? This past weekend, as we attended a college friend's wedding, even after a few cocktails, I didn't dare show off my dance skills. Too embarrassing! And these are people who saw me do some pretty stupid stuff in the day. Like practice my auditions for an MTV VJ. Or strike a pose to Madonna's Vogue. Almost every weekend.

Apparently, I needed the neighbors at the dance. THEN, I could've shown off my wonderful dead bug...while others killed it with their Humpty moves.

With Preacher/DJ John & the Ultimate Usher Dom.

A Short Story on Independence Day

 Last week Doug and I traveled to Denver to attend Pride with our daughter, Alex. It was fascinating, fun and a wonderful celebration of people of all identities. Not everyone has the luxury of having a space where you feel safe and loved. But love and kindness abounded, at least for that weekend in Denver.

Beyond Pride, we had another interesting interaction last weekend as our Uber driver, Mahad, took us out to eat. He was a young man from Sudan. He had a soccer shirt on, so we obviously had a lot in common. Like the clueless, American binge watcher soccer mom I am, I asked him if he ever watched Ted Lasso. Of course, he didn't know what I was talking about.  Then I switched gears and asked him what brought him to the United States. "This!" he explained––the money and opportunity. He had a little girl and a pregnant wife in Africa. And he could support them so much better with the money he made here. He talked about how he missed them and couldn't wait until they came and visited him. Then I asked a question in which I was a little nervous to hear the response. I asked him how he liked the United States. And his answer? "100% love it." The answer shocked both Doug and I a bit, as we constantly hear the depressing news of racism and divisiveness in our country, which I have no doubt is real. But it was small breath of fresh air to hear this young African man talk about how safe he felt and how much opportunity he had here.

As we celebrate the 4th of July, I hope we can remember we're still a young country trying to sort out the ideals of democracy and equality for all. We have our challenges, for sure. But it's stories like Mahad's, a grateful man looking to build a good life for his family, that should remind us what we stand for and give us hope––for individuals of all kind.

Happy 4th Everyone!

The Office, My Office

I'm not sure if I've ever shared my love for The Office on this blog. But I'm going to now. I realize the finale was aired clear back in 2013. But that series has become to me what Hogan's Heroes was to my dad. And all my love for The Office has recently come roaring back with a new book written by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey: "Office BFF's."

The first time I saw The Office, I was watching by myself. (I'm guessing it was harvest.) It completely cracked me up. The character of Michael Scott was the perfect mix of parody and satire. And I knew just as soon as Jim hovered around Pam's desk, I would be hooked on their romantic storyline.  I was excited to tell my husband I had found a series for us to binge watch. But, when we watched the pilot episode together, he didn't share my affection. This shocked me, because we have a very similar sense of humor. And my husband is a Steve Carrell fan! But Doug just couldn't get past his annoyance of Michael. That, I tried to explain, is what made it so funny. His utter lack of self-awareness, yet that subtle vulnerability that makes your heart go out to him when he casually brings up things from his childhood that were, well, sad. Like Jeff, his step-dad.

Anyway, I can't possibly write about the brilliance of The Office. That's for cinema majors who can profoundly explain the humor in something like a New Yorker article. All I can say is how it affected me. I work in an office. We use the same exact phones that Dwight uses to make sales calls. We have candy dishes. We have party planners. We have a sweet receptionist. And we have managers who desperately want to create a positive culture. Sometimes those efforts work. Sometimes they don't. (I'm a manager by the way, so don't worry about me getting fired for that statement.)

I've worked for the same bank for nearly 25 years now. In truth, I never thought I'd stay at the same workplace for that long. Not that I don't like what I do or the people I work with. I do! But I assumed, like most people, that I'd be doing something bigger with my life. You know, like become a best-selling author, or possibly an actress who somehow manages to make movies while raising kids on a farm with her hubby. I didn't get my MBA for nothing, after all. But here's the thing. I'm listening to this book as two best friends relate their time ON The Office, and I see parallels to my time IN the office.  We share quite a bit in common, actually. Things like:

• Laughter. We laugh a lot at the Bank. I can't begin to tell you all of the funny stories that have occurred through the years. But let me assure you they involve a lot of intentional scaring, poop and fart jokes, and one of my favorites, incorrect use of grammar. Okay, that last one doesn't sound funny. But it's hard not to laugh in certain instances. Like when a serious discussion in the board room is happening and the top dog says, "They obviously don't understand the levity of the situation." (Believe me, skipping loan payments is not usually funny.) OR when you ask a colleague who is staring at your delicious sandwich and ask,"Do you want to bite it?" OR when a manager keeps saying how we need to antiquate new employees into our culture better. Maybe he was on to something innovative. Maybe antiquating would make staff feel more valued! Like on American Pickers!
• Friendship. It's hard for me to write this bit without tearing up. Friendships at the bank are family. We have no better cheerleaders for each other at work. We celebrate big events together: new babies, birthdays, weddings, graduations, regulatory exams (when they're over, of course). As a matter of fact, most people at the bank don't want to take off for their birthdays for fear of missing out of some royal treatment. We find ways to celebrate! I clearly remember when my staff arranged a book-signing party for me. They had all gone online to purchase "Goodbye Def Leppard (I'll Miss Those Jeans)" and lined up to have me sign their books. And I was planning on GIVING them all a copy! This was probably the biggest press event I had for my book.
  
  Make no mistake, we also commiserate together, through injury, illness and death. I'll never forget the time I miscarried as a group of us traveled to a bank seminar.  Panic-stricken, I told one of the officers, a lady I admired greatly, and she discreetly called my husband and figured out how to get me to the hospital. She hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. I will never, ever forget her compassion that day. 

• 

  Good food. Bad perm.

  Food. Sorry to pivot from that sad story so quickly, but this incredibly long post is intended to entertain. When I first started at the Bank, I was struck by the sheer amount of recipe swapping. I wondered if we were wasting too much time on food chat. One time, our very busy and very professional Cashier decided to put together a bank cookbook: "Bankers Make Great Bakers." I still have it! As a much older and wiser human, I can assure you that there's never time wasted on food chat, or food testing, or food devouring. Food brings people together. It's a deeply gluttonous token of love.
• Service. Does anyone remember when Michael Scott organized a fun run for rabies awareness? Well, there's not a good cause our bankers won't support. We'll do anything for charity. Like build extravagant canned food displays. Or, take a pie in the face. Or, wear Iowa State clothing. Yes, even that.

Ann looks so cute as a Hawk!

• The Ordinary. I'm sure many people think of banking as mundane. We work with...numbers. But important numbers. We protect money. We help people to buy houses. There's not an employee at the SCSB who doesn't believe in our mission. Yes, we come to a building filled with desks, computers, filing cabinets, copiers, notepads, etc. Boring stuff right? Maybe. On the last episode of The Office, Pam has the final monologue in which she says, "There's a lot of beauty in the ordinary things." I love this sentiment. Every time I go into the supply room to pick out my new color of post-its, I think of this.

Money, kids, and me. Oh my!

 Also in the last episode, Andy Bernard (played by Ed Helms) says, "I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them."  What a thought. Could we possibly realize the joy we experience the moment we're in the moment? Yes, I think we can. We should, actually. I'm sure gonna try harder. Thanks to the wisdom of The Office. And the great place I work.

By the way, I'm making my hubby watch every single episode, every season. I'm bossy that way. And you know what? I hear him chuckling.

Regarded as another legendary bank party. If memory serves me right, we raised money for Alzheimers that day.
See what I did there?

Tales about Tails: A Day on the Kramer Ranch

Our empty nest was pleasantly rumpled this past weekend! Not only were we reunited with our daughter and son, but we ran into a few other guests as well.

This story really begins with the loss of a dog in December –– a dog whose digging wasn't appreciated for it's ability to deter. 

Fast forward through some cold and windy months in which the only yard work completed has been the removal of Christmas lights.

It's Saturday, April 23rd. The kids are home and the temperature indicates no winter coat necessary. It's our last day together as a family for a while. Everyone is campaigning for Dad's famous grilled steaks for lunch. The problem, as most of you can guess, is the wind. Not to be outwitted by the weather, Doug and Cole move the grill to our front stoop.

Doug's first move is to re-arrange one of my unplanted flower pots. So he does. And out comes a giant bird who has been gnawing on some dead earth worms. No one but Doug sees the bird, but it's described as tall, fast and scary. I have my theories as to the species. It takes a lot to make my hubby jump.

In the meantime, Alex and Cole are in the kitchen with me quoting movies and brainstorming cocktail concoctions while preparing potatoes. You know, "boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew."

Unbeknownst to us, there's commotion on the stoop.

Doug is cleaning corn husks out of the grill only to find something even scarier than a bird: a mouse. Speedy Gonzales manages to jump on the ledge with Doug on his tail. He finds refuge under my copper water hose pot. Doug lifts it to find the mouse...along with an unlikely mate: a bull snake. Not a bird. Not a mouse. A bull-freaking snake. 

No need to discuss the fate of Speedy and snake, but let's just say only the bird escaped.

On to the next day on the farm: one kid has gone back to Denver. Cole and I decide to accompany Doug on his cow chores to admire the new babies, which of course, never disappoint. With the temperature dipping, Doug decides he needs to move his sprayer and tractor in the machine shed. Cole and I can help guide him as he rearranges equipment. We set up. Cole goes toward the back of the shed. I stay toward the front. Doug is backing up and I'm doing my job, watching closely and motioning him back. He yells something at me which I can't hear. I assume he's wondering if he's on the right track. I nod and keep waving him on. Then he yells something again. I'm thinking he's trying to tell me something beyond the task at hand.

"What?" I yell back to him. 

Then I hear one garbled word from his mouth.

Skunk.

Skunk?

"There's a skunk right next to you!"

I don't look. I don't dare. I skedaddle my way out to safety in approximately 1.5 seconds. 

Why Pepe Le Pew doesn't spray any of us? I don't know. Perhaps we already smell badly enough. Perhaps Pepe doesn't sense any threat from my helpful mannerisms. Perhaps Pepe heard about the mouse and snake and doesn't want to press his luck.

No matter. If there's anything we have learned from this past weekend, it's not about the importance of spending quality time on the farm with the family to experience wildlife. It's purely the fact that we need a dog.

And that we've raised a useless cat.