Death Stars and #Girlbosses

We are a Star Wars family. One of our favorite Star War-themed movies is Fan Boys. The story follows four young adults in the early 1990's making a pilgrimage to the George Lucas Ranch at a time in their lives when they are trying to figure out who they are. It's a desperately underrated film; I highly recommend it for its humor and life messages. There's a scene when one of the characters is expressing frustration over his current job at his father's car dealership. Deep down, he knows it's not for him. That's when his goofy friend "Hutch" states the best line of the movie: "You gotta find your Death Star."

For those unfortunate few who know not what I speak: the Death Star is Darth Vader's weapon to rule the galaxy. It's a complex weapon and is usually in development. It's the job of the Rebel Alliance to destroy it before it becomes operational. (This plot occurs a few times throughout the saga.) But in the Star Wars world, no matter what side you're on, the Death Star pretty much defines your purpose.

In the same vein of purpose, I just finished reading #Girlboss. Some of you might recognize it as a Netflix series, but it's also the true story of Sophia Amorusa who started a vintage clothing Ebay store and eventually grew it into a multi-billion dollar business called Nasty Gal. I have followed a lot of business success stories, but this one fascinates me, and I know exactly why. This girl, who started with $50 in her pocket, never blinked as she gave up the security of a job and plunged into a clothing venture. Just like Darth Vader and Princess Leia, Sophia Amorusa was strong and true to her purpose.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be a banker, a writer, or a teacher. I even wonder at times if I am meant to be a mother or a wife. Not that I don't want to be any of those things, but I question my abilities. I'm sure we all do this to an extent – second guess ourselves. Perhaps that's why so many people struggle to find purpose. We see characters like Darth and Sophia who are so good at what they do and are so sure of themselves! What am I doing with my life! Spinning in circles trying to figure it all out!

That's okay, really. Something occurred to me today. Not everyone in this world is struggling to find their purpose. Lots of people, folks, are struggling to survive. Their purpose is to find some water. Some nourishment to see the sunset at the end of the day. What a gift to those of us who get to explore. A gift. Not a struggle. The trick is having the courage to take action. And be thankful about it.

Perhaps life isn't about finding your one true Death Star. Sure, creating a destructive weapon might be one of your purposes. But so is training young Jedi's. Or joining the Rebel Alliance to defeat the Empire. Or transporting Wookies across the universe in the Millennium Falcon. You get it.

I get to serve many purposes. I'm lucky that way. And it's not really about understanding who I am, but exploring who I want to be. As George Bernard Shaw said it best:

"Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

The CFO and The Crippled Lamb

When I was young, oh so much younger than today, I never needed anybody's help in anyway. Wait! No - that's not where I was going with this post. The words began and John Lennon's voice popped in my head. Sorry. Let’s start over. When I was young (as in "child"), never did I picture myself working as some sort of manager.  Honestly, my memory may deceives me a bit, but it seems the only career I gave any real consideration was that formidable field of acting. (I attempted to orchestrate numerous plays with the town kids, but no one quite shared my enthusiasm for Grease.)  In the meantime, I grew up. After experimenting with pre-law, music, English and finally business, I found myself at my current position: CFO of a bank. But ever since I stepped out of grad school, and into the working world, ne'er was there a period that I wasn't in a management position. Hmmm. And I’ve often wondered how I, Stefanie Elaine Ronfeldt-Kramer (non-aggressive, conflict-avoider, people-pleaser, sensitive-skinned weenie )landed in management. Then finally, after 17 years in banking, it occurred to me. “That’s precisely the reason." Nobody wants a bossy boss.

I’m in the middle of doing performance reviews – not one of those tasks that make me jump out of bed and say, “Gotta get to work, Hon! See ya!”  But as I’m talking to my staff, I’m taking more time to hear comments. I'm reading expressions. And I’ve become much more contemplative about the process. Perhaps, just perhaps, this interaction is much more meaningful than I’d like to admit. People do like to hear they’re good at their jobs. And believe it or not, they like to have goals. And one more thing - people generally don’t mind suggestions to improve their performance…as long as the suggestion is given in the spirit of helping.

I guess I’ve been struggling with purpose lately. Wanting to be a writer (since I’ve got a lot of important things to say), but not getting any dibs on getting my latest and greatest book published. Wishing I could spend more time with my family so I could give even MORE motherly and wifely advice. Shouldn't I be doing more than budgets and ensuring our network is stable? As my hubby often tells, perhaps I'm over-thinking my purpose. (I never over think.) But maybe I'm just... missing the boat. God has probably put me in this position for a reason. Not that I have all the answers for my staff, but maybe I can help them to either a) work in an “unintimidating” and encouraging working environment and/or b) attain a certain career aspirations. At least for now, I will try my best to do just that.

I used to read a children’s book – The Crippled Lamb by Max Lucado - over and over again to my kids when they were young (younger). Josh, the lamb, wants to run with the rest of the herd, but has a bad leg. I won’t ruin the ending, in case you haven’t read it, but the theme is about understanding that we don't always understand our purpose. But we should have faith and eventually, God will make us understand. It's a great story - for all age groups. I think it's time for me to pull that book out and read it again.

Signing off now - to get a refresher on Harry Potter 6, before we watch HP 7 sometime this weekend...talk about serving a purpose. Is the whole world spellbound?