A New Happy

As I was listening in church this past weekend, and thinking about service and God and all that stuff, I decided something. I need to quit being so bitchy. And help out more. And not be bitchy about helping out. My kids were putting up such a fuss about being servers in church. Really. For one heroic hour, they help our priest perform Mass. Our priest doesn’t happen to be one of those “beat-you-with-a-ruler” if you screw up types. He’s fairly forgiving when mistakes are made. And it’s not like the tasks are excruciating, so I was wondering why the kids were so put out. Perhaps they get their sour attitudes from their parents. As I thought more deeply about their parents’ approach to service, and life, I wondered…perhaps we’re not the best role models in terms of looking at the glass half-full. We do tend to gripe...maybe too much. You know? Bitch for the sake of bitching?

I really think my innate nature is to look at the sky, rather than search the ground for snakes. (Although, I’ve come across TWO in the vicinity of our living quarters recently, but that’s another story I don’t wish to discuss in case the kids read the blog and find out some unpleasant truths…) But for some reason, I’ve allowed myself to be coated with a negative aura. I hear myself feeding into the slightest bit of juicy gossip—even if it doesn’t impact my life whatsoever.  For example, I recently noticed myself criticizing Kanye and Kim's choice of "North West" for a baby name. Why should I care if it sounds like an airline! I'm sure they don't care what I think. Here's the right way to think about that whole business: Another beautiful, healthy baby was brought into the world that will probably bless us with either A) fabulous music, or B) another...reality show. Okay...I'm gonna stop with my commentary while my positivity is still overriding my cynicism.

Back to  task. I want to be the mom my kids and hubby are happy to see when I come home. Not the one, whom they hide from in the basement or the office, hoping I don’t complain about the mess or insufficient completion of chores. So, here’s my plan. I have a twenty-minute commute between work and home every night. I usually listen to NPR—basically just another extension of work to gather information from Marketplace. But maybe I need to pray during that time…to think about what good things there is to be done in the world (or at least in Shelby County… or maybe just our farm). And when I get home, I’ll discuss those ideas with my family, instead of how freaking messy the house is.

I’m pretty sure they’ll like the change of pace...

I've actually been experimenting with this new system already, but my family seems unaware. They look at me suspiciously...like I'm trying to catch them in the act of wrongdoing. It might take awhile for them to acclimate to the new me. (It's only been a few days.) Admittedly, it feels a little strange–this new habit of not being crabby when I walk in the house. But it feels kind of good. I like it. I even cooked something a bit gourmet the other night. Take a look at this! Alex and I were the only ones who really liked it, but I think everyone at least appreciated the attempt.

Bacon, potato and asparagus pizza!

Remember Your Courage

So, I went to a women’s conference last week. And it seems I've been full of The Carpenters lately. You know. ”Such a feeling’s comin' over me. La la la la la la la la la la la. (Skip to chorus.) I’m on top of the wo-orld, lookin' down on cre-ation. And the only explanation I can find...hmmm, hmmm, hmmm.” I pretty much make up my own lyrics after that. The point is, I feel...wait for it...content. 

Some random observations as to why?

• Cole climbed a tree, like "Katniss." He's been playing the Hunger Games with his buddies–not as Avatars or online, as in going outside and re-enacting. No, not really killing other kids to the death. But he was GOING OUTSIDE! Alleluia.
• I decided to be more thankful for my job. It's a good job. Unemployment's rampant. And I'm working.
• It occurred to me that my most important purpose in this world is raising my kids. I can't believe the apple didn't hit me in the head sooner. Deep down I've always known that. So, I need to get those kids to more museums...like all the other good moms.
• My husband makes me laugh. It's why I picked him out of the whole bunch. (There really is a joke in that sentence. He'll get it.)
• When loved ones give you a health scare, perspective comes fast and furious. I will never hesitate to say I love you.
• This week my daughter, Alex, casted Michael Keaton to play the role of Julius Caesar. And of course Robert Downey Jr. will play Brutus! Genius. I like discussing these critical matters with my daughter.
• My parents saw The Hunger Games on Easter. They are a very cool retired couple.
• Lastly, I MET JEANNETTE WALLS! FAMOUS AUTHOR OF THE GLASS CASTLE THIS WEEK! IN A RESTROOM IN OMAHA! I just wrote a review of her book a few weeks ago in my other blog.  Admittedly, I was a bit star struck, so my words seemed to lounge around in my stomach. But she caught the drift of my communication and was quite lovely. I'm not sure if she considers me her new BFF, but she did address me by my first name. That's something.

Anyway, the best part of the week bedsides Easter? For the conference, we all had to come up with an "intention" upon registration. (This was done a few months ago, so I had not remembered what I had written.) As it turns out, I was surprised to see my intention as: 

"Remember my courage." 

Think I'll use it for the rest of 2012. It's applicable for just about any situation. Try it out.

The Year of Happy

Despite the new year and the fabulous January weather in Iowa, it seems I've been surrounded by a wave of negative vibes lately. I just don't get it. Take yesterday. A friend of mine told me she was tired of coming to work every day and saying good morning to coworkers who only acknowledged her with glum expressions. So, she was going to quit offering her chipper address. Sad. Very sad. So, you know what I've decided to do? Make a point to give EVERYONE a joyful salutation. No matter how many times they choose to ignore me. Because I've been blown off quite a bit in my life time too. (Not all of us are morning people...or afternoon people...or evening people...) But I think we gotta keep making an effort to tell people they matter to us–no matter what their disposition.

Too many people love to play the victim. Myself included. Here's a very trite example. When is Doug EVER going to hang that NYC picture he gave me for Christmas TWO years ago? Darn him. Well, the other day a voice entered my head and said, "Do it yourself." (It was literally my husband's voice.) But he was right. When I dug into the project and lifted the two pound picture with its easy hanger, it actually was quite simple. And you know something else? I felt accomplished! Now, I'm thinking of other home projects I can do. Like an IKEA bookshelf to span the basement. Too ambitious? It is the new year.

I'm reading a book right now about the 1994 Rwanda civil war when the atrocious genocides took place. It certainly makes every complaint I hear seem trivial. And while it makes me feel a great sadness for all the travesties that occur (and have occurred) in the world, I feel a great happiness for my life.

For 2012, my resolutions take a semblance to marketing ploys:

Say hello...like a Dodge Neon.
Just do it...like some tennis shoes.
Don't worry, be happy...like Bobby McFerrin. Now you can sing that song in your head all day.

Happy Batgirl

You're welcome.

Cole loving the world.

Power of Prayer

A new year. A fresh palette. A chance to sharpen the pencil or drudge up an old dream or two.  The Kramer's rang in 2011 with great optimism  -- we had actually celebrated until midnight by attending a party with each of our children blissfully kidnapped overnight.

But 13 days in and fate seems to be messing with my resolution to be happy. My vivacious and jocular uncle was diagnosed with lung cancer and is fighting for his life. Doug's aunt passed away this week. I can't bear to think about some of things happening on the national scene. And winter didn't pass us over after all. Oh - did I mention that my new swimsuit came in this week? Yeah, well. Imagine my jubilation after a glance in the mirror, sporting my new bathing bottoms. I wasn't jubile.

Okay, perhaps I need to set aside my Johnny Raincloud umbrella. However, I can't deny the sadness I feel about my uncle. But the truth is my uncle isn't a sad kind of guy. So I've prayed and prayed. And thought about all of the times he made me laugh - and there were plenty of them.  Actually, just thinking about his laugh, makes me laugh.

He's the uncle that really didn't want to look at a photo album, unless he was in plenty of the pictures. He was the uncle who would come up with ridiculous comic routines with my dad...Once posing as a successful (or was it a not-so-successful?) high school football coach:

"Coach Jensen, do you think should allow your team to be smoking on the field?"

"Sure, Ron. We find it relaxes the players..."

My mother remembers these routines becoming tedious and somewhat of a bore. But I remember my cousins and I laughing hysterically at the comic genius' of our fathers. We must've been 8 or 9 at the time.

Apparently, Uncle Stew has started to feel a little better - surely everyone's reciprocating the positive vibes and energy he's had on everyone's life. And I'm going to keep remembering the fun memories and praying for the good to come.

Tomorrow Doug and I will attend his Aunt Mildred's funeral. Again, we need to remember the fun and pray for the good...maybe that should be my mantra in everything.

Hello 2011.

Sweet Spring It Is!

Ahhhh. Isn't it nice to sit down and realize that part of your exhaustion was from spending some time outside??? Yes, I took our Christmas lights and decorations down this evening. And just a shade before the vernal equinox.

I'm wondering if the pervasive "happy" bug will make it through this impending snow shower that's coming. Will Karen Carpenter's voice quit singing in my ear? (Why do birds suddenly appear...) Will we appropriately return to wearing our bulky winter coats that we all despise by now? Undoubtedly, the kids won't. They'd wear sweatshirts in fifteen degree weather if they could.

Well, my brain is apparently suffering from spring fog, because I can't seem to quit staring at the TV as Doug teaches our kids the subtleties of a NCAA basketball pool. It's really kinds of sweet. Everything is sweet right now...