Our Colorado Adventure, Part 3

Have you ever noticed how some people take on a whole new persona when they go on vacation?Take Cole's buddy Michael, for example. He's always a very affable and polite kid. But we all know he isn't necessarily a morning person. So, we were all a bit surprised to see Michael up at the crack of dawn one day as peppy as peppy could be. Then he looked at the clock and said, "That's weird. The time says 7:00." He had been bamboozled by Cole who had told him it was 10:30. He needed to get up! Needless to say, Michael remained very pleasant even at the early hour.

So, Doug can't swim. He doesn't particularly love water sports. But it was vacation and people do silly things on vacation like get up at 6:30 in the morning. I thought maybe, just maybe, Doug would bend. So we continued our debate. Rafting or ziplining?

I have never cared for the idea of free falling from great heights. Roller coasters? Yuck. I did them because I'm a good and attentive wife/mother. And didn't want to witness my family falling to their deaths. But I can't say that I enjoyed those rides. My heart speeds up even as I recall these memories. Ziplining would be no different. So, I continued my plea.

Doug! What could go wrong? Floating down a creek? Safely wearing life jackets?

He wasn't buying the life jacket bit, as if I was exaggerating the reliability of a life vest. Eventually, Doug won. He claimed it would be much better to fall six stories to a hard ground through prickly pines versus being flipped from a raft into... water. How do you argue that? So, that was that. It would be another roller coaster event for me.

The day didn't start off so hot. On the way to Idaho Springs, an accident shut down I-70 rerouting us to take a highway up the mountain. Of course, this was going to make us super late for our appointment with death. You could taste the disappointment in the car. But Driver Doug wasn't giving up. He navigated the hairpin turns as our ears popped. But despite everything happening, the view was spectacular. I wish Doug could've seen what he was driving through. But I didn't dare point out the sights.

Eventually, we made it. The Colorado Adventures Company was entirely accommodating and got us into a different slot. Apparently, Stef Kramer would be ziplining that day.

Lots of quality car time.

Here are the highlights:

• I panicked on the first line. Suffered slight whiplash. Everyone else landed beautifully. 
• Guides love Doug. This happened at ski school. And it happened ziplining. I think they either find it fun to break through his stoic facade, or they appreciate his tough exterior. What fazes that guy? (If they only knew his aversion to that lovely creek we were gliding over.)
• I broke up the only sibling fight of the trip. Only one! And it was a very mature argument. Alex took the side of a proud feminist. Cole took the side of a 16-year-old boy. The kids are growing up.
• Despite my ten push-ups a day, I must look weak. I didn't quite make it to one of the towers – which isn't completely unusual. So, I was easily pulling myself home, hand over hand, when the guide zipped over to rescue me. I was slightly offended.
• By the third line, I was loving it. It was swinging without having to pump forward. A lazy person swing. It was quite exhilarating, really.
• Guess who won Tarzan screaming contest? Out of 11 contestants, Doug and Michael won! They didn't take home any prize. Just pride – sort of. The guide attributed their interesting screams to cracking voices.
• There are no pictures of this event. We couldn't take our cameras, but luckily we could purchase a photo package for $50. After a glance of the proofs, we declined. I was really shocked how short I looked with our group. Apparently, I'm a shortie and a weanie.

It was a good day. I'd even do it again sans the fear. To celebrate our survival, we found a (wait for it) craft beer place in the quaint old mining town. The nachos were never-ending and delicious. But it wouldn't be the most delicious food we would eat. That was yet to come. Just a little more driving ...

Don't look now Doug! You won't look away.

P.S. We couldn't have gone rafting if we wanted to. The water was too low. I had no choice but to brave it up.

Our Colorado Adventure, Part 2

When Alex arrived in Colorado, she quickly noticed how much better her allergies felt. Thus, I was quite excited about the possibility of waking up in the morning without a sinus headache. However, there was just one problem with this theory. Craft beer. Did I mention Colorado is not only known for cannabis, but also for craft beer? Thank God for migraine meds.

Anyway,  our second day arrived. We had been debating between ziplining and rafting. Stef was pro-rafting. Doug was pro-ziplining. The kids wanted to do it all. And why not? It wasn't going to cost them a cent. So we delayed the decision and decided to venture to the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. I was told admission was free, which was good. But I was also slightly skeptical of the coolness factor. I mean, free is often... disappointing.

As is usual for me, I came out of our bedroom wearing a carefully planned outfit. I envisioned us taking a casual stroll, taking a few photos of us in the pretty rocks. Then Alex said, "Mom? You're wearing white shorts and sandals? You're gonna get filthy." Amazingly, the boys were already appropriately dressed. But not to worry! I brought plenty of activewear which would give me the opportunity to wear my new baseball cap. So after a quick change, we were off.

After learning how to drive the I-25 which involves breaking at 70 MPH every five minutes and uttering a few well-placed "how fucking dumb are these people," we made it.

We set off on a path amidst towering red rocks. Cole froze for a second when he caught sight of the "Beware of Rattlers" sign. (Note the foreshadowing here... ) But we convinced him that rattlers are very shy reptiles who do everything possible to avoid humans. I have no idea if that's true, and my maternal sense questioned my sensibilities right then. But we had Doug. He's the sworn protector of the family. I have no doubt he'd give a rattler a darn good fight while the rest of us fled.

Can you see them?

We walked and climbed, walked and climbed. We met other fellow Iowans. We witnessed scenery so beautiful that Cole and Michael could only describe it as being as good as CGI (computer-generated imagery), which I found ironic. We saw fathers videoing young tikes zipping up the side of tall rocks. Would I have allowed that? Not in a million. And while I might've had to hold a toddler Cole back on the idea, I wouldn't have had to worry about Alex. She was the little girl whom I had to coax down the park slide. She was the girl who practically had her father sign a contract to never let go as she learned to ride a bike.

Apparently, she accosted those fears. It wasn't long after we were near the top of a certain climb when she led Cole and Michael into a forbidden area as I yelled at them not to go. It was the weirdest thing. They acted like they didn't hear me and went right over the blocked off area without one ounce of hesitation. I'm extremely happy to report they all came back out unscathed of falling debris without getting a $500 fine.

We made it through the day without any snake bites, twisted ankles, nor rocks hitting our heads. We got fresh air, exercise, camaraderie, and great pics. We topped the day off at yet another craft beer joint, in which Michael in his adventurous spirit attempted an unfortunate PB&J burger and the legals tried a new and different ale. We quickly understood why Colorado is known as the fittest and drunkest state. It strangely reminds me of my marriage. And it works! Really, really well, in fact.

Better than CGI!

Anyway, the Garden of the Gods didn't disappoint. The only real challenge was helping Cole come up with a a caption for his Instagram post. We capped off a good and successful day without spending hordes of money. That would change soon enough.

Upcoming episodes: Whose fears were conquered? And which unlikely spot did we find a snake of all snakes?

Our Colorado Adventure, Part 1

Last Sunday we took off for a family vacation. With our daughter in college and using her time off to do spring break-ish things and the rest of us doing the soccer tournament circuits for the past twenty years (it seems), the old family truckster was due for a trip – a real Clark Griswold and his gang type of trip.

We debated where to go. Then fate decided for us. Alex got an internship in Denver for the summer. The Rocky Mountains became our destination. I didn't quite know what to expect, but I was certain we'd discover majestic scenery while pacifying a mother's heart by spending more than just a few hours with our long-lost daughter.

So, we set off for the nine hour drive to Aurora where Alex dwells this summer. In the Traverse was me, Doug, Cole, and Michael (the honorary Kramer kid and soccer brother to Cole.) I decided to do a little video diary to capture our spirits. I love the anticipation of a trip! Who doesn't, right? The chance to experience a different world. The thrill of trying new things. And the simple delight of not having to respond to 100 emails in a day. I was certain our troop felt exactly the same way!

Okay. So there was just a tad bit of skepticism as we took off. (I had to cut off the end due to my son's vulgar nature.) But I wasn't deterred. As a matter of fact, within minutes of our departure, we came across the sight of two eagles! Two beautiful eagles! I couldn't help but think it was a sign of many more great things we'd see. We just had to get through Nebraska first.

We crossed through the all-too-familiar cornfields and cattle pastures. The boys continued their in-depth study of George Lucas with a Star Wars marathon. I toiled through some light summer reading – David McCulloch's 1776. And Doug took the bullet and drove. After several hours, we were never so excited to see the Colorado welcome sign! The scenery was certainly about to change.

Except that it didn't. As we drove through dry and barren plains, Doug kept repeating a line from Dumb and Dumber. "I think that John Denver was full of shit." In truth, it was a bit boring. I kind of missed Nebraska. Yet! I was still undeterred. The unremarkable nature of that scenery was offset by the anticipation of seeing the mountains and, of course, our daughter.

Eventually, we began to see the outline of the Rockies. At first, I wondered if it was my imagination. It was like seeing a pencil drawing with some light shading. Then, boom. They were there in all of their glory as if they had been waiting for our arrival – like someone else actually was: Alex!

Alas! Father and Daughter

After a full day of driving, Alex guided us to downtown Denver for some art and the first of many craft beer joints. The boys especially enjoyed the art after discovering a large painting of what appeared to be Star-Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy. Doug especially enjoyed the beer. We all loved the pizza. But my joy was more straight forward. I was happy we were all together. And I was still anticipating great things, as the first travel day seemed to indicate. And there were many great things.

In the background: Star-Lord?

There'd be adventure forcing us (mainly me) to face our fears, intense competitions, deep conversation (obviously with two 16-year-old boys), incredible scenery, a culinary splurge, and plenty of laughter. Too much for one blog post. So, I'll sign off for now. But be sure to stay tuned for the next post to read about what we found in the Garden of the Gods.