The Meddler

It was my turn to pick the movie. As some of you might know, we rotate who picks the movie in our house. Then we pick an actor out of a hat to narrow down the selection. I happened to draw Rose Byrne and was quite excited about the possibilities. Bridesmaids. The Internship. This Is Where I Leave You. Spy. So many good ones to choose from! But despite the 237 streaming services we pay for, all of those movies had a rental fee. (We'll pay hundreds of dollars in streaming services. But we draw the line when it comes to paying an additional $3.99 to rent.)

After an intense IMBD search, we found a movie called "The Meddler" starring Susan Sarandon as Marnie: a widow who moves from New York to LA to be closer to her daughter, Lori, played by Rose Byrne. As you might guess Marnie takes an extensive interest in her daughter's life... and just about anyone else whom she meets. Her daughter's friends. The genius at the Apple store. A patient at the hospital. 

As we watched, I felt a little tingle on my neck. Marnie left several messages, every day, for her daughter. She tended to weave the topic of her daughter into any random conversation. She casually bursted into her daughter's home without knocking. (Why knock? She had a key!) And she always, always, always had advice to give.

I realized, without a doubt, there were some substantial pieces of me in her.

About the time this realization was setting in, Doug shouted out, "I could strangle her! She's driving me nuts!"

Well, okay.

It's been two years since Alex graduated college. Cole just finished his first year in college. I 'd be a liar if I said I don't look at Life360 daily. Usually a few times. I also have to coach myself not to text or call the kids with every fleeting thought that crosses my mind. And when they don't respond, I attempt to Snapchat that I find difficult and depressing.

It's not so easy to turn down the maternal chatter in your brain that goes something like this: "are they safe? are they safe? are they safe? are they happy? are they safe?" (I'm guessing the paternal chatter is lower in volume and frequency with a periodic blip of "did they get their oil changed?")

Back to the movie.

It becomes apparent that Marnie is navigating her grief by wedging herself into other lives. However, she is doing this in the most earnest and compassionate of ways. Eventually the term "meddler" seems inappropriate. It becomes a touching tale with a superb acting performance from the beautiful Susan Sarandon. In other words, I cried.

I don't ever remember feeling like Doug's parents or my parents were overly involved in our lives. Of course, there weren't cell phones in our early twenties. Looking back, I feel like they were perfectly involved, helping us when we needed guidance. But letting us live and make the mistakes that all young adults should make. 

So, I'll try harder to give the kids their space, giving them advice when they ask or letting them know important stuff like when the new season of Ted Lasso comes out or how cute the cat looks on the counter. In the meantime, I'll focus more of my attention to the hubby. 

I sure hope I don't drive him nuts.