Full of Wonder

A rare event occurred yesterday. Actually, a never-before event occurred yesterday. Our Kramer core of Papa, Mama, Daughter, and Son walked out of a movie theater with eyes afloat. ALL of us, meaning, the tough dad who never cries was shedding tears.

You might've guessed we saw the movie Wonder – that must-see flick of the season to forget that holiday to-do list and remind yourself of the heart beating inside you. (Some people, I've heard, find this with the Hallmark Channel or actually by listening in church. All good too.)

Last week marked the beginning of the holiday sprint. Planning family get-togethers. Preparing feasts. Shopping in the fourth circle of hell, to quote my husband. I seem to be chewing through a healthy amount of heartburn medicine lately. I would tell you that my stress comes from a number of things. It was my turn to host Thanksgiving. Work is piling up with budgets and reviews to be done.  But here's the truth: it's really neither of those things. I could've served tuna casserole at our Thanksgiving and no one would've really cared as long as we had pumpkin pie. And December is always busy at the bank. In the past 20 years, I've always gotten through it just fine.

This is what I worry about most: my kids. Sure, I'm always concerned about their grades and their health. But here's the thing – I'm mostly worried if they feel loved and aren't lonely.

Thus, Niagara Falls as I watched the tale of ostracism in the most cruelest of venues: Middle School. While the performances of the kids were truly admirable, I was affected most by the authenticity of the parents (Julia Roberts and Owen Wilson). Every time they felt hurt, I felt that hurt. And when they felt the joy of their kids making new friends, I felt that joy. So I pretty much cried for the entire movie, except for the short intermission when I sprinted to the bathroom to avoid what appeared to be a heart-wrenching dog scene.

In no way am I saying either of our kids have experienced anything as cruel as being targeted because of a physical deformity. But they've certainly been left out. They've certainly been made fun of. Most of us have. And those memories don't just evaporate.

It's no revelation that people can be cruel. Wonder reminds us that we're all looking for love and acceptance. We might not be able to change the cards we're dealt. We can't control the actions of others. But we can respond. We can respond in a way that makes a difference. If we teach our kids to look beyond the surface and set aside judgement, we can spread goodness. This doesn't just apply to the kids who appear different than us – it applies to the bullies as well. Chances are, they are harboring some deep pain. It's an easy formula, really. Spreading goodness = happiness. All we need is the courage to do the right thing.

As we walked through the lobby of the movie theater, I turned to my family and said, "Talk about getting perspective." Cole put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Mom! That's a great way of thinking of it." Ah! The power of a story. Remember those Kramer tears I spoke of earlier? Well, to clarify, the tears were of joy, triumph, and wonder.