Bless me Father–It's Who I Am!

Before attending an advent reconciliation, I debated on a number of things to confess. Once I sat down to confess my sins to the priest, I finally boiled down my guilt down to feelings of ingratitude. Most of you can probably relate to a certain extent. I.e., Do things as trivial as someone’s dirty dishes on the counter annoy the shit out of you? Yet...you don't think twice about having those dishes, or that counter, or that food piled on the dishes?

So after telling the priest about my bouts of resentment, along with my inability to appreciate all that I have, he quietly said,

“You’ve probably heard these words before, but remember it’s not about what you have, it’s about who you are.”

At first I wondered if he had understood my confession. I was expecting him to give me a prescription on how to manage my life differently, but he didn't. Admittedly, I didn't connect the dots–at first. So he sent me away to pray an Our Father and reflect. So I did.

Now I can’t shake the words from my head.

I spend an awful lot of time fussing about my purpose in life–wringing my hands, wondering if I'm doing enough in this world. There are lots of big, important causes out there in the world. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to figure out how we should make a difference. How can we help those victims in the Philippines, or comfort the vast population suffering from incurable diseases? Certainly, we can write a check. And while that's helpful, it never feels like enough.

It’s not about what you have, but who you are.

Maybe our actions don't have to be grand or ostentatious. So, I'm not a person who is powerful or important. But I feel that I am kind. And I like uplifting the spirit of people around me if at all possible. Have I been doing that? Have I engaged with my family? My friends? My coworkers? Or even the sad-looking person at the grocery store? Maybe not. Maybe not lately.

So it there's one thing I can do, it's show people I care. A smile, a hello, an empathetic ear. It might be a small gesture, but at least it’ll be sincere. It won't be like Oprah giving away cars, but that's not really who I am–right now anyway.