Bless me Father–It's Who I Am!

Before attending an advent reconciliation, I debated on a number of things to confess. Once I sat down to confess my sins to the priest, I finally boiled down my guilt down to feelings of ingratitude. Most of you can probably relate to a certain extent. I.e., Do things as trivial as someone’s dirty dishes on the counter annoy the shit out of you? Yet...you don't think twice about having those dishes, or that counter, or that food piled on the dishes?

So after telling the priest about my bouts of resentment, along with my inability to appreciate all that I have, he quietly said,

“You’ve probably heard these words before, but remember it’s not about what you have, it’s about who you are.”

At first I wondered if he had understood my confession. I was expecting him to give me a prescription on how to manage my life differently, but he didn't. Admittedly, I didn't connect the dots–at first. So he sent me away to pray an Our Father and reflect. So I did.

Now I can’t shake the words from my head.

I spend an awful lot of time fussing about my purpose in life–wringing my hands, wondering if I'm doing enough in this world. There are lots of big, important causes out there in the world. Sometimes it’s overwhelming to figure out how we should make a difference. How can we help those victims in the Philippines, or comfort the vast population suffering from incurable diseases? Certainly, we can write a check. And while that's helpful, it never feels like enough.

It’s not about what you have, but who you are.

Maybe our actions don't have to be grand or ostentatious. So, I'm not a person who is powerful or important. But I feel that I am kind. And I like uplifting the spirit of people around me if at all possible. Have I been doing that? Have I engaged with my family? My friends? My coworkers? Or even the sad-looking person at the grocery store? Maybe not. Maybe not lately.

So it there's one thing I can do, it's show people I care. A smile, a hello, an empathetic ear. It might be a small gesture, but at least it’ll be sincere. It won't be like Oprah giving away cars, but that's not really who I am–right now anyway.

Stories

Interested in reading some short fiction? My other blog is dedicated to all things writing, so I've posted a short story I recently wrote called Phoenix Sun–about a mother who decides to take a short vacation from her life. But it remains to be seen whether she'll go back to her daily grind...

If you like to read, but don't have the time to dig into a book, here's a nice alternative. Hope you enjoy. (And I welcome comments–good, bad, or ugly!)

Remember Alice?

Hello? Is there anybody there? 

Between two writing classes and the buzz of everyday life, my poor blog has taken a way, way back seat! So, after my first free weekend in about three years it seems, I thought I'd touch base with my small group of followers! (Hi Mom.)

I spent much of the weekend, getting reacquainted with my house. I.e., peeling back the layers of grime to make it not so disgusting. It was practically a Herculean effort because no one does much cleaning around here. And I really suck at making my kids accountable for anything. (I believe they call this working mother's guilt.)  Since I've been reading Gail Collin's When Everything Changed–a book about the women's movement, I'm really consumed with the fair division of household duties. But since Doug is working until midnight every night this time of the year, I guess it's my turn. Ugh.

If you have ever felt badly about your sense of domesticity, consider this:

• My kids' sheets hadn't been washed in such a long time, I couldn't even find them. Apparently, neither of them realized they existed. I found both of their top sheets, and a pillow case, under each of their beds. I hope they appreciate their new, freshly laundered bed clothes.
• I cleaned two piles of dog shit and one one mound of cat puke in the garage. To avoid puking, I simply didn't breath for about five minutes.
• I'm pretty sure I vacuumed up a snake. Or maybe it was a long dead worm. Something possessed me to lift the chaise–only to find one of our animal's treasures. It had to be the evil little cat.
• I started doing laundry on Friday night. It's Sunday, at 9:30, and even with the extra hour, I'm still doing laundry. There will still be at least three loads left to do when I go to bed tonight. At least, I'm proud to say, everyone in the house will have socks and underwear tomorrow morning.

I didn't finish a bunch of other "chores." The kitchen floor. The toilets.The intricate dusting of my fake ficus tree. After some serious consideration, I've come to one conclusion: I need an Alice–like on the Brady Bunch! This way, I can free up my time to pursue worthy endeavors like watching more movies with my family, writing more short stories that probably won't get published and, of course, playing with the pets.

Taking applications immediately.