Mothers, Daughters, and Christmas Miracles

While it seems that my daughter and I tend to differ on a number of things (including a tendency to question maternal figures in our lives), the other day we agreed on something. And it struck it me! Often our opinions collide. We're not so different. She and I.

I decided to keep a list on the convergence of our thoughts.

• Tantrums over fancy smart phones=dumb. 
• Twitter supersedes Facebook in terms of ease of use and an overall coolness factor. 
• Saturday Night Live is hilarious and worth sitting at home for. I hope she always agrees with me on this. For the rest of her life.
• We eat too much hamburger. (Even the word turns in my tummy.)The boys in our house will disagree and might even make an argument out of this point.
• Dialogue is what makes literature memorable. "It a truth universally acknowledged..."
• The return of Beavis and Butthead is...AWESOME. Uhh...Uhhh.
• The Lion King might possibly be the best animated film ever.

And now for the miracle. After four months of losing our beloved cat, guess who we found on the front steps of St. Joseph's Church before Mass? It was none other than Skye! With a bit of wear and tear no doubt. But unmistakably our cat. Two people in our family seemed...indifferent about the glorious find. But two of us (my daughter and I) knew we had witnessed a Christmas miracle. Awww. Just look at him.

Things that are Awesome

I came across an amusing blog that posted "Things that are Awful." But in the spirit of the holiday, I'm determined to keep a sugar and spice angle. So, instead of thinking about things that are awful, I started to think about things that are awesome.

My kids showing their love? Awesome.

• kids, or anyone for that matter, who don't have cell phones
• iPhones (I recognize the paradox in the list)
• kids who send their own money to charity...with no coaxing
• high school vocal concerts–I say that in complete sincerity,
• The Wall Street Journal's 2011 review in books...So many books. So little time.
• Matt Damon, obviously
• bazillions of little girls dressed up in taffeta, tulle, and striped leggings (I admit it! I'm jealous!)
• underdogs and upsets (What are those pesky Broncos considered these days?)
• Tom Brady (Ha! Disclaimer: this list is based on aesthetic appeal only. However, as I write the Pats lead...)
• stinky, lazy dogs who once roamed the ditches and now rule a home
• reruns of the big bang theory to waste two hours of our time three nights a week
• blue twinkle lights to remind us of the phenomena of electricity and how happy a blinking light makes us feel
• The Waitresses Christmas Wrapping (As far as Christmas tunes goes, it's a great blend of quirky, joyful, and snap.)
• laughing at Saturday Night Live with my hubby and dreaming of going back to NYC soon so we can almost puke in a cab ride
• lists
• my son's thrice, daily check of gifts under the Christmas tree

That's it for now. Lot's of awesome stuff. How many awesome things do you spy this week before Christmas?

A Gift

Yesterday during a staff meeting I happened to be the recipient of a lovely floral bouquet–a nice holiday surprise from my considerate staff. While the gift was beautiful, truly I was mostly struck by the act. Because frankly, I've not been feeling the season lately. Lots of work. Lots of grind. I've had a bit of snarkiness about me. No, not very Jesus-like.

Then I got the flowers. And it hit me. Perhaps I needed about one hundred doses of gratitude. Obviously, I get to work with some pretty awesome people.

I feel sorry for victims–true victims. But shame on me or anyone who plays a victim by complaining about dumb stuff. Like being too busy. Sheesh. 

In the words of Charles Dickens, I’m going to try to do a better job of doing the following in 2012:

“I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.”

That feels so much better than...complaining. Happy Holidays.

Joy from the First Snowfall

We Iowans have all been bragging about the magnificent autumn around here. Yeah, yeah. But while few will succumb to the admission, there's something magical about the first real snow of the season. Right? Right! My daughter and I took pleasure standing on our deck to stare at the infinite flakes as they bombarded our countenances.

And then guess what happened? After we came in, my daughter began to clean up the kitchen. Without me asking her. That's true joy. 

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Cleaning up," she replied.

"Why?" I asked.

She mumbled something about vacuuming. I'm still a little unclear on her sudden ambition. Whether it be the season, a sudden repulsion to filth, or even a little guilt working on her, it doesn't matter.  I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe, just maybe there's a little magic in those snowflakes. If so, I'd say keep 'em coming.

When Kids Tweet Stuff

A bitter wind blows today.

Today my daughter tweeted: "My family is stupid. #Mad." She knows I follow her, so apparently she was sending a message. A hurtful message. On Alex's behalf, we barged into her room at the early hour of 8:00 am (ahem) to inform her that we were all going to the city for a holiday shopping trip. (We scoundrels.) Anyway, once I noticed the tweet, it was a fairly quiet ride.

A couple of weeks ago the New Yorker published a cartoon with a parent attempting to control his two boys fighting. The caption, "Now listen. I'm only going to say this a million times." That resonated. I showed it to the kids. They had no reaction. Not funny to them, I guess.

I hope my kids are kind to others. I hope they understand charity. Because if there is one recurring theme in our household, I'd say it's "disrespect."

The love for my children fills me with joy and terrifies me at the same time. But I wonder, does my love for them make me a competent mother? Much of the time, I'm awed by them. Then, stuff happens. And I think to myself, "Do I know these people at all?" Or, "What are they thinking?"

So maybe the holiday season isn't starting off so spectacular, but the optimist in me thinks it will get better. Good Housekeeping had ten prayers in December's issue. My favorite? Give Me Perseverance. Here's the first line:

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered. Love them anyway.

Certainly, that is the creed of parenthood.

Give Food

“They had to go without food...because they ran out of food stamps.” This after-school story, about one of my daughter's friends, caught my attention. A friend went without food? Here? In Shelby County?

I think a lot about global causes. Africa. India. Those poor children abroad. I don’t want to diminish those veritable causes. But apparently there are plenty of needs not being met right next door. I feel a bit ashamed that I’ve easily taken for granted the meals I’ve never gone without. We actually have hungry people in this bountiful community of ours.

Rattled about my lack of knowledge, I emailed Dena Matthews, the Shelby County Outreach Coordinator, who obliged me with some pertinent facts. Did you know since July, the food pantry has helped 160 households and served 446 individual family members? And hunger has failed to discriminate across generations. It strikes children, single parents, single adults who’ve lost jobs, the elderly, the disabled, and even those who are working but struggle to make ends meet because of low wages.

Dena mentioned that specific needs of the pantry change because of the various donations received through the Food Bank for the Heartland. Currently, our pantry needs toilet paper, shampoo, boxed potatoes/boxed meals, breakfast items, tuna, and soups. Stop. Toilet paper. Have I ever had to worry about purchasing something so basic? The answer is no. And I wish I could report that I’ve always been mindfully grateful. Obviously, this isn’t a comprehensive list of needs. A call or visit to Shelby County Outreach Center can provide you more information.

According to the US Census Bureau, 9.1% of our Shelby County lives below the poverty level. That’s over 1,000 people in a fairly confined radius. And our local food pantry has no income guidelines to qualify. They only need to live in Shelby County. Households can receive up to four pantries per year. 

  

When I was young, I remember complaining to my mother about supper. “We’re having hamburgers…again!” Her response? “I know plenty of families living on less than macaroni and cheese. Eat up.”  At the time, I didn’t believe her. But she wasn’t being over-dramatic, as I had assumed. And, as I found out much later, she was speaking from experience. She knew what it was like to skip a few meals, since she grew up below the poverty level.

I have never been hungry. Truly, the fact that anyone has to be hungry is an injustice. I am more than blessed. Now it’s my turn to share these blessings with neighbors in the community. I hope you all consider the same during this holiday season...and perhaps beyond.

How do you Rank?

The ten-year-old boy in our house is incessantly surveying household members. No, not typically over matters like “who do you think is likely to lead the Republican polls this week?” But on issues concerning our preferences over artistic matters. Of sorts. And the boy won’t rest until he’s satisfied that we’ve provided him a well-thought response. “Yes, Cole! I like Harry Potter 1 better than Harry Potter 4. Yes, I mean the book. Oh, the movie? I guess I’d have to say Harry Potter 3. Or 7. The second part. Yes, the movie, not the book. But I loved the book too. It was my third favorite. What’s my second favorite? Uhhh. Harry Potter 6? I think?

We have a lot of ranking going on in our house. “What’s your favorite___” Cole can’t seem to ever remember that my favorite movie of all time is You’ve Got Mail. (Or perhaps he chooses to repress the idea. And yes, I have a bookstore fetish.) So, whenever the favorite movie question pops up, and I give him my steadfast response, he plows ahead with, “What’s your second favorite?” or “What’s your favorite action movie?” And so on. Of course, I’m not the only lucky recipient of these quizzes. My hubby and daughter also get to play. And once as we were all growing a tad weary of the interrogations, and wondering where does this crazy ranking system originate from, my hubby quietly mentioned, “Oh, I know where he gets it.”

Flashback to that magical night Doug and I met. Apparently, I impressed my future spouse with my elaborate ranking system of bands and MTV videos. Oh yes! As a matter of fact, I still have somewhat of a ranking system. Perhaps I’m not quite so...fanatical about it. But it’s still there in the recesses of my mind. Van Halen has dropped quite a few pegs. Replaced by none other than...Coldplay. U2 has remained stalwart since like 1985–yes, that long! Oh, I could go on. But my point? Certain minds like to rank. And others....prefer to think in a cloud. (Although, I’m quite anxious to get my gadgets lined up for that wave of computing. I would rate that very highly.)

Cole and his 2nd favorite Marvel character, Spidey. (Deadpool is #1.)

So, what's your favorite...thing these days? Got more than one thing? Rank it!