#Alone

When was the last time you felt lonely? If your life is anything like mine, it might have been awhile. But there are very few of us who haven't experienced that feeling one time or another. As an only child, I vividly remember setting up the monopoly board and playing both the thimble and the iron. Sometimes the wheelbarrow. I laugh now at the memory, but admittedly it's not my fondest childhood memory. Being lonely sucks.

A few weekends ago my hubby asked if I wanted to accompany him as he checked cattle. I said no. Obviously! I had things to accomplish on my hectic Saturday morning. Laundry, vacuuming, Pioneer Woman...Then he said something that struck me. "Come on. I'm by myself all week." An aha moment came over me.

I don't want one of my favorite people in the world to feel lonely! So I went. And it was fun and good.

Today CBS Sunday Morning featured a story about a high school in Boca Raton whose students started a program called "We Dine Together." To see kids with this much spirit made my heart soar. And, more importantly, it reminded me how much impact a small gesture can have. So I challenge you! Reach out to a kid at lunch. Say hello to someone sitting alone at a restaurant. Smile at the elderly person in the grocery store. Maybe you already do all of this stuff. That's awesome. But I bet we could all do a little more.

Need some inspiration? Watch this video:

Busy as a...Bitch?

Have you ever counted how many times in a day something is requested of you? It doesn't matter what you have going on, you just–

·         Do it. It’s your kid and someone needs to wash their sheets.

·         Do it. It’s your husband. It will be easier than teaching him how to call the dentist.

·         Do it. It’s your job and they pay you.

·         Do it. It’s a good thing for your community and you want to make it a great place to live.

But there are times you don't do it, even if you want to...like going out with a girlfriend or playing a game with your family. And why not? We're too darn busy. And we need to prove it.

  

I read an article in the WSJ by Elizabeth Bernstein called You're Not Busy, You're Just Rude. Undoubtedly we’re all buried under a mound of too many obligations–self-imposed for sure. We tend to wear our “busy-ness” like a badge. It never occurred to me how off-putting this can be—to our friends who are also busy and to the people we care about it. Talk of hectic schedules tends to dominate conversation, but what are we trying to communicate?  "I'm so busy I'm not even sure why I'm taking the time to visit with you! Now get outta here."

I'm not saying we need to put a halt to being active. Being busy equates to productivity. But the next time I start rationalizing why I'm saying no, I’m going to try to shift my perspective about my responsibilities. And be honest.

Like when my husband asks me to sit down and watch something with him. I won't let out a huge sigh and tell him I’m too busy. I’ll ask him to help me with laundry so someone can have socks in the morning. And we can interact instead of stare at a screen.

Or like when a friend invites me to have a drink, I won’t say I’m too busy. I’ll say I’m concerned about becoming an alcoholic. And having beer breath at a soccer game. Then I'll ask her to lunch instead.

Or like when my kids want to talk about their days, and my mind begins to create to-do lists for them to ensure they are productive citizens. Really, I need to stop that right now. I will empty my mind and listen to their every word. I'm definitely never too busy for them. No matter how many meetings I boast about attending.