Confessions of a Mom Blogger

The title of this post reminds me that I probably need to change the name of this blog from "mommyhood" to something like "hey momhood" since I only get called Mommy in a rare slip of the tongue anymore...but maybe some other day. Right now, it's time for a confessional:

=>Yesterday I was about to pour the backwash of a Dr Pepper down the sink when I noticed a dying fly struggling near the drain. About a mili-second before dumped the soda, I watched the creature. And I wondered. Is the little guy in pain? Will it help if I just drown him in the carbonation? Or it will be excruciating? Suddenly, I couldn't bear the thought of torturing him. I KNOW I AM NUTS. You know what I did next? I took a napkin, let the thing crawl on it and released it outside. Whether it healed itself or not I'll never know. But at least I didn't drown him in Dr. Pepper.
=>I'm amazed at how quickly boys can learn sports. Doug taught Cole how to catch fly balls last night and he got it in like fifteen minutes! It totally freaks me out. They played for like two hours and never got tired. I remember when he tried to work with Alex. Wow. Those were not happy times. Alex and I should like play guitar together while the boys play catch.
=>While I will never regret building our house, I do miss the vegetation back at the old house. The strawberries. The raspberries. The columbine. The out-of- control rhubarb. And the peonies. The peonies! That were transplanted before the cows ate them last year and are blooming in our new yard this year! Yes, just in time to take to the cemeteries.
=>I told Doug the other night that I am going to quit writing. I don't think I will though.
=>I'm slightly jealous of the young twenty-somethings that that have nothing better to do on the weekends than to party, party, party. Only slightly though.
=>Nineteen years ago I met the love of my life. The thought makes me happy. Next week our oldest girl will turn thirteen. The thought makes me sad. The photo below is how I envisioned my hubby bonding with his son. Of course, this makes me happy. Especially, as I am bonding with my daughter on a shopping trip. Again, this makes me happy.

Summer's Here and We're Gonna Do What?

Two days out. And already...I feel the summer slipping away. Because it's just like me to have all these plans like, uh, the zoo, the Botanical center, all those art exhibits, (did we check into art camp?), an organizational basement project,a heap of scrapbooking supplies that sit in a basket, our trip to Kansas City, a flower bed experiment on the west side of the house, music theory with Alex, cleanup at the old farm, trips to the library, oh yeah -- swimming. I can't forget to take kids swimming either.

Whatever. You know what we're doing right now? Well, as I type these words, Doug is spraying a field. Cole and Al are watching Batman Begins. Again.

I'm not going to try to fit as much as I can in this summer. Really I AM going to spend as much time as I can with my family doing any old thing at all with - ALL of my family, including my dying grandmother. It won't be about becoming a better person. It will be about being better - together. No matter how many books we read or how many art exhibits we get to. (As long as we get to Eclipse, but that goes without saying.)

Catatonic?

This morning I feel strangely numb. Like I can't get myself to do anything. I've got piles of laundry. There are dishes to unload. But I'm just sitting here, staring at a stupid cartoon. Cole's asking for breakfast. So I'll be right back...I'm back. Anyway, back to nothing.

I noticed that the last entry I wrote was early this month. Let's see. What's been going on? What on earth have I been doing? Graduation parties come to mind. And work. Lots of work, leaving me drained. And then we've attended a few more graduation parties. (For some reason, we're popular this year and boy I'm just not really much of a social butterfly.) Oh, took the family to a Paramore concert at Westfair when it was like twenty degrees outside. It was actually pretty fun.

And, of course, American Idol is winding down. I'll have lots of extra time after next week...well, enough sitting around. Need to bake some brownies for next graduation party tonight.

Hey - can you believe there is only one week left of school? What projects do you have planned for your kids???

My Purpose

The other day as me and my friend Amy were dreaming of that day when we won't have to work anymore so that we can do all those other projects we have planned and catch Dr Oz every day. Then we got to talking about jobs and our level of satisfaction and wondering if we went down the right path and so on. Then Amy said something that sort of keeps coming back to me.

"You know, when I was little I'm not sure that I ever really knew what I wanted to be. But I always knew that I wanted to be a Mom."

Yes. So it was with me. And it got me to thinking - again. Why all this thought about purpose and career? I made it. This is the life I dreamed about. I'm really living it! Sometimes I wonder why I'm making such hard work out of it.

Besides a family that makes me very, very happy with lots of laughter, I have beautiful scenery around me all of the time. I think it's about time to enjoy.

Sunday Nite Rap

After one of those great weekends that included shopping, reading and quality family time, I simply must rave about my daughter today...

Many of us are delightfully attending those end-of-the-school year recitals, right? Friday night, we had the joy of watching Alex's first year piano recital and second year guitar recital. Before getting too entangled in this brag session, a little history might help.

I have a bit of a piano background...played all through high school, majored in music my freshman year in college before giving up a scholarship to study English. When it came time to enroll Alex in piano lessons, she simply told me that she had no interest. What? My daughter had no interest in taking piano? I was kind of bummed. Scratch that. Really, really bummed. But I got over it, like every normal parent who wants to live vicariously through their kids.

Then, a glimmer of excitement ran through me when she suddenly decided to take guitar lessons. But then something better happened. Last year she confessed that she wanted to take piano. I tried to contain myself.

In all truthfulness, it has been a joy to watch Alex discover the joy in music. And what is truly incredible to me is how talented she is - not even one year this girl has played! Okay, I tried for like a half an hour to post the video, but it wouldn't load... So, you'll have to trust me that she was really, really good. As a matter of fact, I felt teary-eyed watching the video again. She really plays beautifully. And she even got an award from her teacher for "Best Practice". What a lovely child we have.